to prefer the french way: less mat leave, cheap childcare?

[dreamingbohemian]

Actually I'm still unsure about this, would be interested in others' opinions...

We are moving to France shortly and will be putting DS (1 yo) in nursery a few days a week. Delighted to find it will cost us only 10 euro/day (much less if DH can't get a job right away), as opposed to the 40-50 pounds/day it costs here in London.

Also have the option to put DS in free pre-school FT from 2.5 y.o.

But on the flip side, apparently French women only get about 3 months paid maternity leave.

Obviously this is a moot point for us at the mo, but I'm thinking about it as we may end up having another child while living in France -- or we may come back to the UK.

Which system do you think you would prefer?

I kind of think the French system is not only cheaper but offers more flexibility, but then again I was really happy not to have to go back to work at 3 months...

ENT exam, spine exam, sheet of paper with lots of things to fill in about medical history, looking at latest blood tests etc.

Then half an hour trying to persuade me that I wanted an epidural the minute I stepped into the maternity, why all other forms of pain relief were a bad, bad thing and if I needed an EMCS how having an epidural would make life so much easier.

Plus there's only one person for the whole hospital after 6pm apparently so if you come in the afternoon you should ask for one straight away. And if you think you might want one at any point you should ask for one straight away....

They are nothing if not thorough!

In a nursery, like they used to here.

They keep them in the nursery.

Yet despite all those exams and questions they still managed to overdose SIL to the point that she could feel nothing at all from the waist down. The oh so competent French midwives then pushed on her abdomen to force the baby out

Definitely worth bearing in mind that a heavily medicalised system can have it's problems. Not least that doctors are gods, and you are always wrong.

I think the reason so many French women do go back to work after 3 months, as others have said, is that after that you stop being paid a FULL wage and child-care is heavily subsidised.

I went back to work after both DS at 3 months, and agree with others that although it is physically tiring, it is easier emotionally.

For us, with my wage being around 2000 euros a month, and a childminder being about 600 euros (and then we claimed 25% back in tax credits), there was never any question of not going back straight away.

But I think I could have stayed at home on a pittance (bit like smp in the UK, about 100 euros a week I think).

I think a lot of British mothers calculate that because childcare costs are so high, going back to work means they only "break even" or even lose money short-term.

Sorry, as soon as I typed that I realised it was a stupid question

(they phased out nurseries where I come from about 30 years ago)

Can you get gas and air? or do they just assume everyone will have an epidural?

Rubbish - its problems.

Flingon

Jamais, that was the case for me, it simply didn't make financial sense for me to go back earlier

You can have just gas and air, but I don't know anyone who did. They're a bit heavy handed with the persuasion when it comes to pain relief.

My very fast, mainly unattended (MWs just in time to catch basically) home birth completely freaked out my French relatives. As does my weird insistence on BF past 6 weeks (DS now 6 months), and lately the photos of him feeding himself steak and broccoli :o Oh, and the cloth nappies. We've never raised the topic of co-sleeping.

Er, that was at your SIL not your typo

ROFL, I did realise, but for a second I did think you were over-reacting a bit to an extra apostrophe :o

Actually our childminder was fantastically accomdating about cloth nappies (she's converted now too, because our 2 DS potty-trained quickly and easily day and night at 2 and she's convinced the nappies helped) and bf.

I bf DS2 until quite recently (he is 4) and she never made a negative comment.

Also, the hospital I was at encouraged co-sleeping, they had special beds with sides so you could sleep with your baby without the baby falling off!

Wow jamais, that's super! I get looked at like a 3 headed martian when I talk about it

I think the whole French system of maternity care and then childcare is fairly rigid, and people are supposed to fit into it. I remember the babycare booklet I got after DD1 was born, it said something along the lines of "now your baby is three months old, it's time to head back to the workplace" No suggestion that you might not do this. (Also at the bit about taking makeup to hospital so you could make yourself look pretty for visitors. But anyway...)

That said there are always individuals who are prepared to bend the 'rules' or consider different ways of doing things :)