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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to find this a really rude facebook status?

132 replies

purplerabbitofinle · 13/04/2011 06:28

"I was feeling down earlier so I dipped my Muslim friend in bleach,

I thought I'd try to lighten Mahmood..."

I think I might hit the delete button. Jury please!

OP posts:
Mamazonhereggsclucking · 13/04/2011 12:20

Then you missed the hundreds of stories from the 70's of kids having bleach thrown at them by racist thugs whilst shouting at them to turn white.

gorionine · 13/04/2011 12:20

"By bringing it to this forum just fuels the fire and almost makes it acceptable, you thought the joke was racist but choose to tell us anyway." you definitely make a god point there but I still do not understand that though:

goodbyemrschips Wed 13-Apr-11 11:48:27

"Poeple make jokes about other races and countries all the time.
I am with worral................"

goodbyemrschips Wed 13-Apr-11 11:55:12
"Ok dia................just read your profile maybe thats why your ''not very popular''...[your words not mine]

because you have not got a sense of humour.?"

I read some racist jokes are funny and if you do not find them funny it is no wonder you are not popular.

"My Muslim friend is miserable about being so fat. I've suggested he goes on a diet. Anything to lighten Mahmood" could only work if their was such a name as "Hismood" other wise the joke makes no sense at all.

Innishvickillaune · 13/04/2011 12:25

It's a pun on "the mood".

I like the pun "lighten Mahmood" (relative's first name btw) but obv not the bleach reference.

I think it is being a bit overthought though. It could be a horrendous racist attack if made by someone like charleanne but it could also be made by someone who has lots of Muslim friends and thinks of it as no different to a Paddy Irish Man joke.

Intent makes a difference here. Not everyone would make the bleach-1970's-white connection.

WassaAxolotlEgg · 13/04/2011 12:30

You could take the "Muslim" out all together; just have "my friend" perhaps?

After all, someone called Mahmood is not necessarily Muslim- could be an atheist!

Innishvickillaune · 13/04/2011 12:31

Actually the Mahmood I know is a Christian!

Innishvickillaune · 13/04/2011 12:32

It would make more sense it it were my friend.

My friend wants me to go running with him. He's miserable about his tubby belly. Well, what could I say? Anything to lighten Mahmood.

Mamazonhereggsclucking · 13/04/2011 12:33

exactly Innish. and those "paddy irishman jokes" that usualy imply that the irish are red headed and a bit stupid, are also offensive and racist.

seeker · 13/04/2011 12:35

Take out Muslim and bleach and it's actually a good joke. Like "what do you call a woman who juggles cans of Guinness?"

But the point is that it would never be told without the bleach and the muslim reference. Because the sort of people who tell it (I've heard it loads of times before) are racist idiots.

CornflowerB · 13/04/2011 12:35

Oh and Paddy Irish Man jokes are funny too are they?
And I do realise that you are probably Irish.

gorionine · 13/04/2011 12:36

But if the pun is 'lighten my mood' surely it cannot be someone elses tubby belly. it does not work unless Mahmood is actually doing the joke and talks about himsef using his name rather that 'I'.

Saucepanman · 13/04/2011 12:36

at charleanne. OP I would go with hecate or mamazon's succint explanations. Please let us know the response.

Innishvickillaune · 13/04/2011 12:38

There are Paddy Irishman jokes that can be offensive, yes. There are also many that are not.

There is a patent difference between a joke that HAS to have a racist intent like:
"two Wongs don't make a White"

and a joke that dosn't have a racist intent but makes something of nationality in a gentle ribbing fashion.

I don't like the joke in the OP and I think it is being racist for a number of reasons, but the pun itself (on a name) is not e.g. like what do you call a man with a bird on his head? Cliff. It seems a shame not to be able to use a good pun though

Shoesytwoesy · 13/04/2011 12:41

yanbu
that is awful, hope you binned them

Innishvickillaune · 13/04/2011 12:48

When you tell a Paddy Irishman joke in Ireland, it's Paddy Englishman that comes off as a fool you know...

Being perpetually offended is tiring. I see people talk about their kids throwing paddies all the time and have had a fair few people say "that's a bit Irish" referring to something stupid, but their intention is not to be rude. I've been asked in a genuine way how children can understand me because I don't "speak properly".

On the other hand, I read a thread a few weeks back where someone talked about how all Irish men were misogynists who pressured women for anal sex.

I don't waste my time getting offended by people unthinkingly making jokes that are offensive, why bother? I was offended by the thread about the misogynist males because it did actually state something ignorant and state it as fact, and follow it up with "well all of you [Irish people who have commented that what I am saying is factually inaccurate] don't exactly make me change my mind" Hmm.

There is a lot of serious racism and offensiveness in the world. This joke may be part of that but it may be more innocent and just a bit unthinking. I wouldn't support it by "liking" it and I think OP's comment was fine.. said "not okay" to make the poster think again (giving benefit of the doubt) without assuming too much.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 13/04/2011 12:48

My friend Aaeesha is so miserable about her husband's weight problem, she's made him join the gym. "Anything to lighten Mahmood", she said

You need the reference/expectation of a Muslim name coming up in the punchline as Mahmood isn't a very familiar name for many people in this country - if you knew lots of people called Mahmood you wouldn't need the Muslim reference at all.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 13/04/2011 12:50

seeker What do you call a woman who juggles cans of Guinness?

dearyme · 13/04/2011 12:52

Being perpetually offended is tiring

oh so agree, and seeing posters on here wind themselves up as to who can be the most offended by the daftest thing, is hilarious

Original poster
purplerabbitofinle · 13/04/2011 12:56

You really need that explaining? How about the happiness equals white bit? Or the muslim equals black bit? Then we get to the bit about throwing bleach at people, the effects of that were highlighted in the "my beautiful friends" documentary recently. Google "honour killings" and "london race riots"

My reply.

To the pp who said there are more serious issues, I agree. But I'm pretty powerless to stop that so I act where I can

OP posts:
seeker · 13/04/2011 12:57

Being perpetually offended may be tiring (have no idea - I am only offended by offensive things!) but try being perpetually the butt of someone's jokes! No that is tiring!

Jenai - Beatrix!

MmeSurvivedLent · 13/04/2011 13:00

I read the Guinness joke several times before I got it.

I enjoyed the Mahmood pun but found the joke abhorrent.

WassaAxolotlEgg · 13/04/2011 13:01

Actually I think young Charlene Anne was a troll. Too much like racism bingo in one post.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 13/04/2011 13:02

Ohhhhhhhhhhh. I thought Beatrix balanced a pint on her head. I prefer the Guinness juggling, but then how would she do that whilst making a vase and becoming Beatrix Potter? Grin

MmeSurvivedLent · 13/04/2011 13:07

Wassa
Agree. Read like a English Defense League poster.

Original poster
purplerabbitofinle · 13/04/2011 13:10

Apparently I'm now a keyboard warrior. I've pointed out I'm quite happy to discuss in person and that I had not been abusive or threatening - and that urban dictionary is his friend

OP posts:
sungirltan · 13/04/2011 13:14

depends who it is op. i have a bloke friend who would post that and similar. he just does it for attention. he knows i ownt tolerate that side of him but if i challenge him he just does it in a more extreme way to amuse himself watching me get cross. its very much a dnftt situation. he is a lovely guy otherwise and has been a loyal friend for years - what he writes on fb just to wind people up and how is in rl are very different.

if the fb poster is knob anyway delete and dont look back!