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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think death and resurrection are unsuitable subjects for a year 1 assembly?

101 replies

newfashionedmum · 12/04/2011 21:18

My daughter attends a community primary school, chosen specifically for being non-denominational as we don't think children should be segregated according to their families religious backgrounds. We are happy for DD to learn about religions as part of her understanding of cultures and anthropology, including visits to mosques, churches and hindu temples which are all arranged by her school.

However I'm unhappy that she and her friends had a class assembly today (which parents weren't told in advance about) about Easter, specifically the content and delivery of the assembly. I don't yet know the detail but she told me this evening she was upset because 'Jesus died' and she couldn't understand why Good Friday was good, when someone had died. She was then told Easter was a celebration, because 'he will come alive again and come back to earth'.

I think children this age are too young to make the distinction between a story and the truth, especially when told it by a teacher (who are usually held up by children at this age as the fount of all knowledge!) and without any context (for eg she doesn't know what sin is so can't even have it explained why Jesus was supposed to have died - not that I'd want them to go into 'saving us from eternal damnation' anyway). AIBU to be unhappy about this and has anyone got any constructive suggestions /guidelines about how to mark this particularly gruesome festival in a more sensitive way - or do some schools avoid it altogether? My DP says they should do something about its cultural context and it being an old pagan festival - hence the eggs - which is all 5 and 6 year olds are really interested in!

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 13/04/2011 08:52

Christian's believe-she has already said it was a non denominational school.

heliumballoons · 13/04/2011 09:00

DS school tell all sorts of stories from different religions/ cultures and use the line 'x's believe that'. (Infant sch)

DS takes it as it is a story. He also said 'it can't have been that good a Friday for Jesus as he was killed by nasty people'.

vintageteacups · 13/04/2011 09:03

exoticfruits I wouldn't have been so Shock had ds then been able to tell me what a 'mummy' was. After a long chat about it, he still didn't think that the mummies had actually been people.

He said they were zombies who ate people and were wrapped in bandages.
I asked him if he thought they were once people before they had died and he said "no mummy, they're not people - they're mummies, like zombies".

[Hmm] so although I was a bit Hmm at the overly detailed description (more gruesome than Horrible Histories) I was cross that the teacher hadn't properly explained what a 'mummy' really was.

exoticfruits · 13/04/2011 09:08

They take what they want from it ,vintageteacups. I do think that adults over analyse things. DCs tend to love the sort of stuff parents hate!
If he doesn't understand, it is a good topic of conversation at home. School should be a partnership with home-don't just hand them over and not have input.

mitochondria · 13/04/2011 09:12

exoticfruits - reading the OP, doesn't sound like it was presented as "Christians believe....."

GiddyPickle · 13/04/2011 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yousankmybattleship · 13/04/2011 09:41

I didn't know that all schools have to include acts of worship. I am a non- believer, but am very hapy that my children are experiencing something outside what I can teach them. Although religion is not important in my life, it may be in theirs. It is also good for them to learn about stories and traditions that play such a major part in other people's lives. Bring it on I say!! Oh - and mine weren't in the least bit traumatised by the talk of death - they just thought it was cool that God woke Jesus up after he'd died so they could have an Easter egg!

SummerRain · 13/04/2011 09:47

I went to a catholic school from age 7 onwards and my children attend catholic schools.

I don't ever remember being particularly bothered by the Easter story, nor are my kids (dd is in the equivalent to year one) Although I have been fielding a lot of questions about death lately and ds1 keeps asking me 'Do you get alive again when you're dead? Some people do don't they though?' which suddenly makes sense now that it's occurred to me that the teacher is probably doing the Easter story with them Grin

Flowerpotmummy · 13/04/2011 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Louiseteacher30 · 13/04/2011 10:12

Hi newfashionedmum,
Even in a Community Primary School they have an obligation to ensure assemblies are 'broadly Christian' ofsted will also inspect them on this.
The non denomination part comes when teaching RE and pupils will be taught about all the major religions, it usually happens that in Year 1 pupils for the Christianity themes are taught about Easter, Christmas and a unit around 'Stories Jesus told' so it would non be unusual for the class assembly to be about the Easter story.

I would advise you to speak directly with the class teacher about the context the Easter story was introduced to the children. I do agree that some children are more sensitive than others and you maybe need to let the CT know that this upset your child, I dont, however believe in dumbing down and in my experience giving children the facts but not too much detail is better that spending a week decorating easter eggs and drawing fluffy bunny rabbits.

It was unfortunate you werent told about the assembly, from personal experience the story that comes home can be different to what actually happened in class....I have been left with egg on my face before after going into school on the back of an incident....and as a teacher it was also very embarrassing as I should have known better!

Louise

dearyme · 13/04/2011 10:49

the people who send their kids to faith schools but are athiests and then tell the kids that they "are stories" should be ashamed of being hypocrites who will confuse and bewilder the poor kids

onagar · 13/04/2011 10:58

You can't really blame the Christians. They have heard this story so many times they have forgotten that's it's about torture and murder. It gives them warm fuzzy feelings to think of jesus dying on the cross.

Bramshott · 13/04/2011 10:58

DD1 informed me when she was at pre-school "Mummy, did you know that Baby Jesus ate a hot cross bun, and then he died?" Grin

onagar · 13/04/2011 11:00

dearyme, we live in a country where the only schools available may BE faith schools. Parent's don't get a free choice of schools. If you don't like it then move to some country with a compulsory religion.

SummerRain · 13/04/2011 11:01

dearyme.. i live in a tiny rural Irish village, catholic school is the only option. And as for referring to biblical texts as stories, afaic that's what they are. We have 4 gospels supposedly written at the time of these events which cannot even agree on basic details. Jesus may well have lived, died and resurrected but as there is no scientific evidence or accurate account of the facts I do consider the Bible to be a sequence of stories based on what happened.

A bit like a movie 'based on real events'.... I don't have to believe the movie is a completely accurate representation in order to believe the underlying story is true.

princessparty · 13/04/2011 11:18

Everybody has the right to withdraw their child from RE /worship.It annoys me when parents like the OP don't take up this option and then bitch cos their child has been involved in something religious at school.

Louiseteacher30 · 13/04/2011 11:25

Vintageteacups,
A word of caution on blaming teachers for not explaining things properly.....I had a similar moan over homework not being explained properly, went into school, rather cross, then discovered 29 pupils knew exactly what to do and mine had simply not listened or tuned in!

onagar · 13/04/2011 11:31

princessparty, you haven't thought that through. they have the option to take them out of the whole assembly which typically means they miss out on other essential things. Opting out of RE is different as they can do some other lesson.

Not that I'm against RE which is religious education. It's only forcing them to worship your favorite god that I find inappropriate.

burntsienna · 13/04/2011 12:04

We have 4 gospels supposedly written at the time of these events

Not so. The dating of the Synoptic Gospels is a matter of much scholarly discussion, but it's known that they were all written well after the events and at different times.

Anyway - if the kids don't learn about all this, they will never appreciate The Life Of Brian. :o

"Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each"

BelleDameSansMerci · 13/04/2011 12:08

burntsienna Grin

iPhoneDrone · 13/04/2011 12:09

Sorry not read the thread

We pulled year 1 DD out of all the assembly's that the local vicar took to this term.

It is a non-dom school so she has no bloody business being there feeding kids confusing crap about people coming back to life.

SummerRain · 13/04/2011 12:28

burntsienna Grin TLIB is worth wading through the gospels to enjoy properly

You're partly right about the gospels, although Mark's is believed to have been written pre-70 AD and the others based on it.

Roseflower · 13/04/2011 12:30

OP- at what age were you taught about about Jesus dying on the cross?

MillyR · 13/04/2011 13:11

Spiderslegs, most people in this country who consider themselves to be CofE, and if CofE dioceses recommend a book about falling leaves to explain death and spiritual life to children, that is their choice. It isn't really the teaching of Christianity in non-denominational schools like the OP's child attends for you to write off the methods of the major church in this country as feeble. It is actually quite bizarre to write off a comparison to trees as in such a way when the bible describes Jesus as the tree of life.

I have one Catholic and one Anglican parent myself, and I would prefer it if children were taught RE in a way that was tolerant and inclusive of different denominations rather than 'thrilling.'

DS has been given a Secondary school book on Christianity, and I'm quite impressed by how they have managed to give descriptions of Christian ethics and teachings based on what the denominations have in common, rather than what divides the,.

mitochondria · 13/04/2011 14:15

dearyme - I'd love to send my kids to a non-faith school. Not an option, unfortunately.

I have explained that.