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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think death and resurrection are unsuitable subjects for a year 1 assembly?

101 replies

newfashionedmum · 12/04/2011 21:18

My daughter attends a community primary school, chosen specifically for being non-denominational as we don't think children should be segregated according to their families religious backgrounds. We are happy for DD to learn about religions as part of her understanding of cultures and anthropology, including visits to mosques, churches and hindu temples which are all arranged by her school.

However I'm unhappy that she and her friends had a class assembly today (which parents weren't told in advance about) about Easter, specifically the content and delivery of the assembly. I don't yet know the detail but she told me this evening she was upset because 'Jesus died' and she couldn't understand why Good Friday was good, when someone had died. She was then told Easter was a celebration, because 'he will come alive again and come back to earth'.

I think children this age are too young to make the distinction between a story and the truth, especially when told it by a teacher (who are usually held up by children at this age as the fount of all knowledge!) and without any context (for eg she doesn't know what sin is so can't even have it explained why Jesus was supposed to have died - not that I'd want them to go into 'saving us from eternal damnation' anyway). AIBU to be unhappy about this and has anyone got any constructive suggestions /guidelines about how to mark this particularly gruesome festival in a more sensitive way - or do some schools avoid it altogether? My DP says they should do something about its cultural context and it being an old pagan festival - hence the eggs - which is all 5 and 6 year olds are really interested in!

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 12/04/2011 22:17

queenoffairies - I think I like your DD's version. Mine had some garbled version of him having "some things" put through his hands and feet and then dying and then waking up again because he's the "King".

I commented to her father (who does have Christian beliefs) that the only person I want her to refer to as "the King" is Elvis. Didn't go down all that well...

Flowerpotmummy · 12/04/2011 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 12/04/2011 22:23

I really don't think that people understand 'non denominational'-it is still Christian. Easter is part of our culture. I can't see a problem with it-they take what they want from it an over the years they will understand more.

exoticfruits · 12/04/2011 22:25

Children don't have the taboo on death-it is adults who find the subject difficult.

worraliberty · 12/04/2011 22:26

Cotton wool and bubblewrap anyone?

Hulababy · 12/04/2011 22:28

I work in a state primary, in y1. It is non denominational and has a vast array of children with differing backgrounds, cultures, religions, etc.

however as with all state schools in England although it is non denominational it does follow a broadly Christian leaning and in RE it covers all religions, including christian.

In Y1 we cover Christmas and Easter as part of the christian part of he curriculum. We also cover other relgions and key times of the year for them too.

So yes, we have done the Easter story with all of Y1s, regardless of religion and culture. We tell them that Christian people belive that.....

Original poster
newfashionedmum · 12/04/2011 22:29

What about children who have experienced the death of someone close? It's a pretty difficult subject for them. And confusing to hear that its possible for someone to 'come alive again'.

OP posts:
MillyR · 12/04/2011 22:29

I think children have to learn the Christian version of Easter at some point, but it needs to be age appropriate. There is a Christian book about the concept of new life following death, aimed at KS1. It basically explains it in terms of the seasons, with trees losing leaves, flowers and insects dying, and so on. It then shows all the new life of trees, flowers and animals in Spring. It then ends by saying 'death is followed by new life.' This is really the message of both the original Easter and the Christian version.

I think that kind of thing would be more appropriate for KS1, and they could learn the stuff about Jesus and sin when they are a bit older. It just involves too many complex ideas for such a young age group.

exoticfruits · 12/04/2011 22:30

You wonder how past generations managed worraliberty?

bubblecoral · 12/04/2011 22:31

We tell them that Christian people belive that.....

And that is the most important half a sentence of any RE lesson about Christianity!

exoticfruits · 12/04/2011 22:32

I think that as key stage 1 you can rely on it being age appropriate.

Onetoomanycornettos · 12/04/2011 22:36

If you wander through central London at Easter time, you may well be confronted with a graphic reconstruction of the Passion as we were last year, complete with violent soldiers, the cross, the crown of thorns. Thousands of people were watching, we made our escape, it was quite frightening for our LO, especially the shouting.

In comparison, the explanation given at school was positively tame, although my daughter did go on and on about the nails. No nightmares, children just accept this as one of the stories that are milling around in their culture, I personally like them to know why Christians celebrate Easter.

cazzybabs · 12/04/2011 22:37

I teach year 1 and whether or not you are religious it is important culturally to know the story of Easter which is about the Christian belief that Jesus died and came back to life. Children take from it what they what they can based on previous experiences. I very doubt many 5 year olds are going to bed traumatized because of that story. Do you have the same issue with Christmas?

yousankmybattleship · 12/04/2011 22:37

My children go to a non denominational school too and they were told the Easter story in assembly. I'm very happy for them to learn about it. I do not believe myself but am glad they are being told these stories that a lot of people do believe and which explain some of the holidays we have. Plus, hearing a five year old trot out their version is hilarious!

cazzybabs · 12/04/2011 22:38

newfashionedmum - I suspect that would be dealt with by any good teacher and it is not very likely or an issue for the OP

MillyR · 12/04/2011 22:39

DS didn't get the point of the Christmas story in KS1. Possibly that is because Christmas makes no sense unless you understand Easter.

DS believed that the Christmas story was a warning over what would happen to you if you weren't punctual. I've thought of it that way myself ever since.

Hulababy · 12/04/2011 22:40

bubblecoral Tue 12-Apr-11 22:31:31
We tell them that Christian people belive that.....

And that is the most important half a sentence of any RE lesson about Christianity!

bubblecoral - I would go as far as to say that that is the most important part of any introduction of any RE lesson, regardless of which religion is being covered.

We try to make sure that our children are aware that many people believe in many different things, and some don't believe in any religion at all. And that it is okay to believe or not believe in whatever THEY chose - note; not what their parents or teachers believe necessarily, butw hat they themsves have chosen.

exoticfruits · 12/04/2011 22:40

All DC will get the Easter story. Non denominational is Christian-just not affiliated to a particular church. There are no secular state schools in England. You would have got it when you were at school and I doubt whether you were traumatised! (you can't have been or you would have worried about your 5 yr old in advance!)

Timeforanap · 12/04/2011 22:52

My DC have regularly attended Sunday school since aged 2, DS (now 5) still came home from nursery last week saying he'd been learninig that "the Easter bunny won't come if we are silly or naughty". To me, that is the exact opposite of what Easter is all about - ie, being forgiven for any bad behavioiur or wrong choices you have made! I told him that the teachers had made a mistake.

spiderslegs · 12/04/2011 22:56

Really, just tell them. They won't be crushed under the weight of that knowledge, they're quite matter of fact about such things.

DS is four & we regularly discuss the death of animals & people.

He's learning about Easter now at pre-school & if a hear a namby-pamby version of events I will be telling him how it actually happened.

They take on the information they need & discard the rest.

And for God's sake (forgive me lord, for I have blasphemed) we are a Christian country & even if we weren't there are numerous such 'blood sacrifices' to be found in most religions. It's part of understanding our humanity.

RedbinD · 12/04/2011 23:01

You should handle easter the same as christmas. Both are holidays celebrating non existing sky fairies, but the kids get presents. Hopefully they will grow out of both of them at about the same time. The tooth fairy might last a bit longer though.

Timeforanap · 12/04/2011 23:01

spiderslegs completely agree, good post.

Original poster
newfashionedmum · 12/04/2011 23:06

cazzybabs - it was actually an issue for the OP (me) and was not dealt with as the teacher giving the assembly was not aware of DDs history, and told her not to be sad because 'its meant to be a clebration'. She was really confused - 'why's it called good friday - what's good about someone dying?' I just don't see the need at her age to deal with this - whats the rush? I like the sound of MillyRs book, much more appropriate it sounds to me.
We talk about death at home probably much more than the average family - but not about resurrection - because we don't believe it happens.
DD had the take home message that the easter story happened - and that is what concerns me. Its too complex a subject to cover in a room full of young children.

OP posts:
Original poster
newfashionedmum · 12/04/2011 23:08

and christmas is a very different kettle of fish - a baby's born. not much traumatic about that (well not in the nativity version anyway)

OP posts:
RedbinD · 12/04/2011 23:11

Spiderlegs - it probably didn't even happen. There is no real evidence for the execution let alone the magic bit.