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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to prefer 'What'? to 'Pardon?'

156 replies

wolfhound · 12/04/2011 10:55

although neither of them are very good. 'Pardon?' sounds a bit Hyacinth Bucket IMO, and 'What?' can sound rude.
What do you teach your DCs to say?
DS1 (3.5) seems to have adopted his own style of bellowing 'Can you say that a bit louder?' which may not be the ideal long term style.

OP posts:

Fayrazzled · 12/04/2011 19:04

I'm with EmmaBemma' how bloody bourgois is it to worry about this stuff! There are a million and one things to worry about in this world, I can't understand why anyone would take up brain space fretting about whether their child said loo or toilet.

Christ, there was me thinking one day we might actually judge people on things other than their class. It's snobbery pure and simple that makes people care about these things. .

cyrilsneer · 12/04/2011 19:21

It's a personal thing, isn't it.

One woman's "Sofa" is another woman's "Settee" is another woman's "Suite".

"Toilet" makes me wince involuntarily but saying "Lavatory" feels a bit contrived to me. It's always been "Loo" in this house... Clearly, it's a personal thing.

... and, by the way, the loo seat needs to be left down. I hate coming into a bathroom or loo and seeing the seat up. For some inexplicable reason, my DDs (15 and 17) have started doing this in recent months and I have no idea why??

Worse, the cat then drinks from the loo water and leaves muddy paw prints inside the bowl. Lovely, eh?

IAmTheCookieMonster · 12/04/2011 19:23

DH suggests "sorry?" or "excuse me?"

I always say pardon, I can't stand what, it sounds ignorant.

QuickLookBusy · 12/04/2011 19:24

Round of applause for Fayrazzled

onceamai · 12/04/2011 19:26

Pardon is naff and short for "I beg your pardon" which is entirely correct, excuse me is an alternative, "what" in relation to not hearing is vulgar, "whaaat!!" when your fifteen year says she's pg or you win the lottery is entirely correct. Loo is a bit 3 bed semi, lavatory a little dated, "bog" a little vulgar - possibly best not to mention it but discreetly withdraw from company for as long as it takes with a polite "I'll be back in a minute". Possibly none of it matters providing you don't lick your knife or your plate.

PS: Serviette is paper and disposable, preferably used for picnics and possibly in the kitchen, napkin is linen far preferable and always used in the dining room .

PPS: Some of the ladies on Ladette to Lady taught me flower arranging and cooking

glendathegoodwitch · 12/04/2011 19:26

I hate 'pardon' as in "I beg your pardon" I' wont ask anyone to pardon me lol and teach the kids to say sorry?

Giselle99 · 12/04/2011 19:33

I usually just say "mm?" and very occasionally "what?" or "sorry?" . I've never said "pardon?" as I wasn't taught it by my parents or at school. I don't mind it though, or other variations including "say again" which my Norwegian friend would say.

stubbornhubby · 12/04/2011 22:10

I don't even know what I say... I can't believe people get worried about this.

Bumperlicioso · 12/04/2011 22:19

'I do think manners are important but I believe manners should be concerned with putting other people at their ease. This kind of thing isn't about manners, it's about snobbery and point-scoring.'

Great post emmabemma!

Bumperlicioso · 12/04/2011 22:20

But I will take anything over my 3 yo's constant 'huh?'

cardibach · 12/04/2011 22:31

What I REALLY don't like is 'Say again?'. Grates really badly. Punching someone in the face badly.

loopyloo73 · 12/04/2011 22:33

'What' died long ago and 'pardon' took it's place.....................or that's what my MIL used to say!

Then someone would say something and she would say 'Wha?' if she didn't hear them correctly!!!??

CristinaTheAstonishing · 12/04/2011 23:00

Good post, EmmaBemma. Totally agree about puttin other people at ease. Sometimes it might even mean apologising for something not your fault, hence 'sorry' or 'pardon'. No big deal.

We taught DS (who was deafer when he was younger and didn't have cochlear implants yet) to ask 'can you say that again?', 'I didn't catch that', 'can you repeat that' etc etc. Lots of variations as he would inevitably need to use it a lot.

Janoschi · 12/04/2011 23:26

I hate Pardon. I mainly say 'Sorry?', 'What's that?' or 'Eh?'.

arachne · 13/04/2011 00:13

Well said, EmmaBemma. Sad that I was taught by my otherwise very kind and perceptive mother to abhor 'toilet' and 'pardon' (+ white shoes and fold-up-small umbrellas!?-I've got over that one!). What pointlessly divisive shibboleths. Not passing them on to my daughter.
Was taught to say 'I beg your pardon?' - still can't abbreviate it to 'pardon?' and have adopted 'sorry?' instead. Does anyone say 'I beg your pardon?' nowadays?

Original poster

wolfhound · 13/04/2011 09:06

'Speak up man' in a patrician voice - think that one has to be the winner, amy :) I used to have a curmudgeonly teacher who would grumble 'Stop mumbling!" which might be an alternative.

I understand why lots of people are saying it's snobbish to mind which you use. But given so many people clearly do react badly (to either 'What' or 'Pardon'), it would be nice to teach DS to say something that doesn't raise people's hackles. Admittedly 'Speak up man' may not be the answer...

OP posts:

amyamyamy · 13/04/2011 10:54

Okay, politically incorrect, but what about putting your tongue slightly out, wedging it between upper and lower teeth, waving your arms about wildly and loudly yet indistinctly vocalising "Do you sign?"

Sigh, NOW I'll have to name change..........

MissingMySleep · 13/04/2011 11:31

I didnt know some words were good and bad. I dont like the way my kids say what..it sounds dumb..whaaa... so I ask them to say pardon, or sorry as at least they say these words clearly

we always say loo but I had thought that was common, they teach them to say toilet at school and excuse me, instead of what/pardon/sorry so I dont want to confuse them by saying school are wrong

btw napkin means nappy in middlesbrough so I have to say serviette when we are up there (DH is from Boro and we visit DGPs several times a year) otherwise they would think I had put nappies on the table...!

MissingMySleep · 13/04/2011 11:33

arachne .... I say "I beg your pardon"... a lot...

MooMooFarm · 13/04/2011 11:36

I say 'sorry?'.

When I was a DC my mum would say 'pardon?' in a very strict voice if we'd said something rude or naughty. So to me that word is a reprimand.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 13/04/2011 11:38

I prefer what to pardon.
OH thinks what is very rude.

I once heard a mum screech to her child 'DONT SAY ERRRRRRR say WHAT!!!'

Which seemed quite funny at the time.

MrsvWoolf · 13/04/2011 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 13/04/2011 12:44

Language evolves so surely if lots of people think what sounds ignorant and rude, which it does, then regardless of the origins you are justified in not wanting your children to say it.

arachne · 13/04/2011 12:52

MissingMy Sleep...Good, then I'll reinstate it. I'm sure it will get frequent use since I seem to need to request repetition more and more often as my ears -and brain- daily become less efficient - age and fast living (the latter, if only!).

amyamyamy · 13/04/2011 14:12

"Pardon" is nearly as bad as "ta", but that is a whole other thread possibly.

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