to prefer 'What'? to 'Pardon?'

[wolfhound]

although neither of them are very good. 'Pardon?' sounds a bit Hyacinth Bucket IMO, and 'What?' can sound rude.
What do you teach your DCs to say?
DS1 (3.5) seems to have adopted his own style of bellowing 'Can you say that a bit louder?' which may not be the ideal long term style.

Eh! What did you say ;)

Eh?

Ha! Ha! I was just coming back because I knew I forget the question mark, but you beat me to it :)

'forgot' doh!

This thread is actually making me feel slightly sentimental for the time (gone by) when I had any influence at all on what my children said or how they said it.

christ. I can't believe all this U and non-U crap still persists. My daughter says, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?", in polite but bellowed tones when she doesn't hear someone. She's three. I will never instruct her about whether "what" or "pardon" is correct, or for that matter "toilet", "lavatory", "napkin" "serviette", &c, &c. My father banged on and on about all that stuff for years, as well as not holding one's knife like a pen and other such pressing moral imperatives, and he was/is a CRASHING BORE.

I do think manners are important but I believe manners should be concerned with putting other people at their ease. This kind of thing isn't about manners, it's about snobbery and point-scoring.

I doubt that any of my children are destined to marry royalty, so I need not worry about being mocked for saying 'toilet' or 'pardon'.

In answer to the question, I usually say 'sorry? what was that?' but as I was brought up to say 'pardon' it often comes out. I know it is technically the wrong word, but I read a funny piece once about people who try to sound U against their natural tendencies. I really don't want to be that person!

I will never, ever say serviette though! That is a seriously nasty word.

Eh? or What? in the home/with friends.
Sorry, if talking to strangers eg on phone/in shops etc.
Pardon never, i think it's long passed it's sell by date.

Agree wholeheartedly with EmmaBemma. Except for serviette.

ALso agree with Emma except that about holding your knife like a pen...

'Pardon' is a tad common. 'What' is ignorant. 'Sorry' is acceptable.

I do realise it's silly to be prejudiced against the word "toilet" - but I just can't help myself. Honestly.

Oh God, Katisha that is my absolute and ultimate most hated thing.

What is better than pardon by far! My mum used to say "Who do you think you are, the Queen?" Didn't Middleton's mother get it 'wrong' when she met the Queen - seem to remember seeing it in the Telegraph and hoping my Matron from Junior school had seen it (she used to make me stand in a corner for saying what and insisted on pardon instead)

You are usually asking the person to be clear/louder anyway, so don't make out it is your fault by saying "sorry" etc, either.

I've always said what. Ds says what. My mother corrects him to say pardon. So he says pardon when his grandma is here and what the rest of the time!

Say in as patrician an accent as you can muster "Speak up, man" thereby diverting attention from your own deafness and implying that the other person is at fault. Great. Um, not how to make friends, mind you.

Ladies here's my question in regard to this, what do you do when other members of your family tell your dc's to say something you don't agree with? For example I tell my dc's not to say toilet, but loo or lavatory, but my stepfather will correct them if they say loo and tell them that it's toilet.

Do I say 'toilet is sooo working class' obviously not, but how do I address it without appearing judgemental?

I have tension about this because, as so many have mentioned, 'pardon?' is vulgar and yet my children have been told off by teachers for saying, 'what?'

Since this I've lost confidence in 'what' now I realise just how many people are ignorant to the fact it's correct assuming it rude. 'Sorry' seems euphemistic and fainlty ridiculous. So I end up with a stammered, tension-laiden, 'Mmm? What? Sorry?' these days.

Bloody British class system. It's a nightmare. This is why I will NOT be supporting this ridiculous royal wedding pantomime.

Lovelydaffs, if I were you I would just tell your children other people say it differently but in this house we say 'lavatory'. I would also ask the ILs not to 'correct' your children.

We say 'sorry what was that? (or something along those line) in this house and until I read this I hadn't really thought about it!!!!

Also we go to the loo or toilet, also the bog or sometimes bathroom and I only told my DS1 to say something different after he announced during Christmas dinner (with guests) that 'i'm going for a big poo'.

Though in fairness he was only 4 and it still causes amusement and is being kept in the memory banks for an appropriate time such as his 21st party or wedding

Christ on a bike! I've just realised I'm as common as muck.

I correct my DD to say 'pardon?' because when she says 'What??' it sounds rude (along with the dropping of the t and the slack jaw and screwed up nose lol). Although I do say 'sorry' in that tone when someone is rude to me and I can't believe what they have just said to me. Lavatory sounds like I'm up my own arse and loo sounds more common that toilet.

If I'm with friends I will say 'yer what?'

YANBU. "What?" is fine. "Pardon" doesn't make sense.

It depends on how it is said, I prefer a mild "what? sorry?" to a gruff "pardon" but I generally am inclined to a "Sorry?" with a tilt of the head