to prefer 'What'? to 'Pardon?'

[wolfhound]

although neither of them are very good. 'Pardon?' sounds a bit Hyacinth Bucket IMO, and 'What?' can sound rude.
What do you teach your DCs to say?
DS1 (3.5) seems to have adopted his own style of bellowing 'Can you say that a bit louder?' which may not be the ideal long term style.

No, I'm apologising for the fact I didn't hear them.

If they burp then they say "Excuse me" and if they dont; hear something they say "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that" or "Could you say that again please?"

yes, but it's not your fault, that's what I mean - It's their responsibilty as the person who is talking, to make sure that you
a) can hear them
b) can understand them

and it's also their responsibilty to make sure that they have your attention when they start speaking to you.

So if you don't hear them, it's not your fault, it's theirs.

I prefer, 'Eh?' To get the full effect, it should be said in an ascending, harsh shriek and accompanied by a cupped hand to the ear.

In my house growing up it was 'pardon?' Or the spectacularly cockney 'aaaeeeehhh?'

I tend to say 'I'm sorry?' as shorthand for 'I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that'. Job done. Occasionally I say 'par donnay mwar?' in an ironic kind of way because I'm maaaad like that.

'What?' is no doubt terribly upper class, but it simply sounds rude or idiotic on 90% of the population.

When speaking German I say a very short, aggressive sounding 'was?' (what?) which I would never dream of doing in English. With older people it tends to be 'Wie, bitte?' (how, please?).

I am apologising for making them repeat themselves.

Oh, on occasion in both lamguages it's just 'mmmmmmm?' but only under specific circumstances.

nickel no it is not the sole responsiblity of the speaker...I am hard of hearing...not my fault....but unless I announce this fact to everyone I speak to BEFORE I fail to hear them then part of the blame lies with me.

What=middle class
Pardon= lower middle class
That's it really

Lots of people will now come on to say that they are classless ( yeah right !)Before you get all indignant ask yourself why you say one or the other. These words have no meanings in themselves. 'What' does not SOUND one way or the other, it's just the people you associate it with. Of course it doesn't MATTER, it's just that what you say is dictated by your background not by the innate quality of the word.

I've realised I'm not a snob.

How can words be banned in a house?

I say what I think it's because we do in German. I mean it's not the polite form there either but at least where I am from perfectly acceptable and it translates easily into English.
When I am trying to be more polite though I usually say 'Excuse me?'. I find Pardon weird but it's probably because I was never taught to use it.

What's wrong with toilet? It's the first time I see someone not liking/using the word.

Oh, just saw Psalmead's post. I agree with her use of was and wie bitte in German. It's definitely aggressive sounding here too. Sometimes it can sound quite mean, as if I am openly criticising them for not making themselves heard. Definitely not meant that way and totally accepted there. I hope that doesn't lead me to sound rude here.

You don't say "" pardons that", you say "what's that". It's what for me, pardon sounds wrong and excuse me or sorry is too apologetic.

I think pardon is frayteful.

But 'what' can be worse - some people think it sounds rude and take offence. Middle-class language not always the most tactful to use.

Leaves 'sorry', which is wimpy, and I loathe it, but doesn't upset anyone.

I always say pardon, I read something (I think it was a Julian Fellows article) saying that an "upper class" person uses what.

I personally think what sounds rude.

Just seen that pardon is lower middle class?

I use:
pardon - lower middle
loo - upper class
lounge - lower middle
sofa - upper middle

Not sure what class this makes me.

Out of interest, what's upper class for sofa then?

I wish people would not make judgements about which words people use. It isn't as if they are shouting "what the fuck are you saying" right in your face.

Surely it doesn't really matter.

BBGFG Chesterfield?

But this sort of thread would rather imply that actually it DOES matter to people. For various reasons.

It's what.

I have ongoing battles with the children's DGPs over this. My DDs say "What?" and then get rollocked because, "It's not what, it's pardon!" and then I overhear and bellow say, "IT'S NOT PARDON IT'S 'WHAT?' AND WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TEACHING MY CHILDREN TO SAY PARDON!"

It's what, I tell you, what!

Thanks, Psalmead. Hmmm, think I'll stick to sofa though; Chesterfield sounds like a particularly vile type of buttoned shiny sofa to me.

Oh, strikethrough didn't work ... meant 'particular ly vile type of buttoned shiny sofa to me.

I realise that Katish. I was just pondering that it is a shame people would be so judgemental about words which are in common use.

I aways say "pardon", so I must be very common

I help in a local school with reading. One little girl refused to read the word "toilet" because "mummy says I'm not allowed to say that word". She just kept reading "loo". I think that's ridiculous, the poor girl was so worried that saying the word "toilet" that she wouldn't even read what was on a printed page!

Yes, I am sticking with sofa too. Chesterfield would be much more trouble than it's worth.

'awright, nan? Plonk yerself daahn on the Chesterfield and I'll fetch you a cuppa'

'Allo mum. Guess what? We got a new Chesterfield!' 'Oh no! Who's gonna look after it when you on holiday?'