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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel very saddened about a poor 15 year old in the children's ward at the weekend.

71 replies

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 12:22

DD had appendicitis and had it out on Friday night, so spent all weekend in hospital. She is fine now and came out yesterday afternoon bless her.

She was in a ward of 3 kids, I stayed with her all 3 nights (on the most uncomfortable chair known to western civilisation) and the girl next to us had her mum stay with her as well. Both 15.

Another 15 year old came in another bed late Saturday night, with a broken femur and shattered kneecap. She had no adult with her. Overheard the doctor on Sunday morning - basically she got the injury after arguing with her mum about doing the dishes, and her mother pushed her down the stairs. The doc and nurses were asking about her life at home, it sounded awful, basically her mum spent a lot of time abroad, and her dad looked after her some of the time, but for the most part she was on her own. The docs were getting social services involved.

When the docs went we were discharged, we had a load of sweets, food and mags left over so I gave them to the girl. She was sat there in her bed all tearstained, and looked like the saddest sight. It was heartbreaking.

Just felt so sad comparing DD and the other girl in the ward, who had someone with them at all times, and this poor girl who was in a lot of pain and on her own.

I don't want to sound like a smug twat, and of course there may well be a lot more to this story than what I heard, just so sad that some kids have such miserable lives.

OP posts:

cottonreels · 11/04/2011 12:23

I agree, thats really sad. Hope something good happens for her

controlpantsandgladrags · 11/04/2011 12:25

That's horribly sad and tragic. I hope social services can do something to help her.

fairylights · 11/04/2011 12:26

ah bless that poor girl I hope she gets some good support and care from social services - its hard to imagine leaving your own kids in that situation isn't it? Hope your dd is recovering ok

Original poster

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 12:27

I know, but I don't hold out much help that SS can actually do anything for her. I don't know anything about it, though.

She was just sat there staring into middle distance when I left

How horrible that it happened in the first place, and she had nobody with her the entire time.

Just wanted to wrap her up and take her home.

OP posts:

TennisFan · 11/04/2011 12:28

That's very sad - and I hate to see something like that too.

some kids have such a hard life in this country and the world in general - life is very unfair

Original poster

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 12:29

Sad thing was that whilst DD was being operated on, I was so scared for her. watching her being put under anaesthetic was so frightening - seeing the light go out of her eyes as she went under. I looked at her on the trolley - all 6 foot of her - and she looked like my tiny baby. I didn't want to leave her side whilst she was in there.

I am by no means a perfect parent but I would not want to leave a kid that age in hospital if I could help it.

OP posts:

needafootmassage · 11/04/2011 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 12:37

Needafoot - that is a brilliant idea, thank you I will pop some food and smellies in tonight. Even if the nurses won't let me speak to her (and they probably won't) I will give the stuff to the staff.

Poor, poor kid.

OP posts:

TheMonster · 11/04/2011 12:38

There may well be more to it. I hope so anyway!

BarbaraBar · 11/04/2011 12:39

Great idea to drop something in to her. I'm sure the idea that you are thinking of her will make her day and feel a lot less alone in the world.

Loonytoonie · 11/04/2011 12:41

Taking some bits in is a lovely idea. It means that someone's thinking of her I suppose...

cyrilsneer · 11/04/2011 12:45

Poor, poor girl. I'm so sad just reading this.

When your children are younger, fifteen sounds so grown up but when you your children are teenagers you realise how vulnerable they are.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 11/04/2011 12:45

Oh no! I hate things like this but I had to go and read it didn't I!

The nurses will take extra care of her....my friend is a nurse and says they alwways do when a kid is neglected like this.

Original poster

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 12:49

15 is a baby. Mind you when dd is 35 I will probably still think she is a baby.

The staff on that ward were absolutely brilliant, they were incredibly understaffed but the level of care was outstanding. Brilliantlt nice women. I am sure that they will look after her. Feel very sorry as she will need help washing etc, as she can't walk, she should have a mother or someone to do that for her. Not a mother who shoves her down the stairs.

OP posts:

kittya · 11/04/2011 12:50

Did the girls talk to each other at all? Or where they in too much pain? I imagine she's going to be in there for quite awhile. Poor thing. I hope she has Fb access! I think the nurses may let you say a hello if they recognise you from the weekend, if you don't leave it too long. Maybe an Easter egg?

Original poster

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 12:53

No, the girls didn't speak, DD was zonked out on morphine the night the poor girl came in, and when she woke up the next day was tired and in no mood to speak.

The woman next door with her 15 year old dd was still there when we left, she was a nice woman and I hope she and her dd spoke to her.

OP posts:

whitevanwoman · 11/04/2011 12:55

sadly thats the lot of many kids and young people

no one who cares about them :(

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 11/04/2011 12:56

Also maybe you could check she has a TV? Do they have to pay for them on Kids wards?

HipHopopotomus · 11/04/2011 12:58

oh this makes me feel so sad too - great idea to pop back in to see her. A little kindness can mean so much & go a long way.

ReindeerBollocks · 11/04/2011 13:01

Poor girl, how sad for her to be in that situation.

The toiletries may cheer her up and sounds like a nice idea, but you may struggle to get back on the ward (depending on their security system). Giving the gift to staff would probably be the best way.

I hope the girl has a wider family circle who will take care of her.

LineOnTheLeftOneCrossEach · 11/04/2011 13:02

Oh that's awful. DD was in hospital at 4 months with bronchiolitis. The boy in the bed opposite was about 18 months and having unexplained fits (not febrile). He'd had one and fallen off a bed so had a cut head too. He'd had another in hospital. The dad was complaining that they were supposed to be at the pub for a day and his mates were waiting and could they hurry up. He discharged his ds AMA after a couple of hours despite several very stern and anxious doctors asking him not to. I kept wondering why they didn't phone somebody or force him to leave the child there for more tests. I assume they couldn't. Heartbreaking.

Hope dd is on the mend.

LineOnTheLeftOneCrossEach · 11/04/2011 13:03

I was in hospital at 15 btw and lived on puzzle books. I don't know if they're 'cool' nowadays but they passed the time. And skittles.

Gerrof, you're lovely.

Original poster

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 13:04

No, they didn't have tellies in the ward strangely.

DD and the other 15 year old had laptops on which they watched DVDs. Which highlighted the difference - two girls with their mother staying, cupboards full of crap to eat, sweets etc, laptops, DVDs and magazines, and one girl sat there on her own in pain with nothing but a jug of water to drink

It makes me so angry that so many kids are just discarded.

OP posts:

Original poster

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/04/2011 13:09

lol at puzzlebooks . Can't imagine giving DD a puzzlebook without her giving me The Look.

That is awful - discharging to go down the pub.

It was the longest weekend ever - all that brilliant sunshine and we were stuck in a tropically heated ward. And dd was (after her op) out of it for a lot of the time. I read every magazine printed, 2 childrens books and about 10 episodes of friends. Couldn't even MN (I could read the threads on my BB, but for some unfathomable reason couldn't post). No sleep (apart from 10 minute snatches) for 3 days, as the chair only reclined an inch, and if you moved it sprang back up.

But as ghastly as it was I couldn't leave DD there on her own.

Childrens wards are frightening places - it was bad enough with dd as she is old enough to understand, I cannot imagine how horrific it is with a young child. Heard so many small babies screaming in pain. I have no idea how nurses work there - they deserve medals.

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 11/04/2011 13:09

I have spent a lot of time on the gynae ward recently, and our hospital seem s to be fab about making sure that old ladies who have hysterectomies etc get SS support in place before they are allowed home. Surely, please God, your hospital will be as vigilant with a clearly abused child?

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