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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to have DCs friends round or planned an activity for EVERY day of the school holidays?

23 replies

thebird · 11/04/2011 08:16

DD1 wanted to know last night what we are doing this week and next week. She wanted to know who was coming to play, staying for tea, having a sleepover and what places we might be going? I shamefully replied that I had made no arrangements! Ill admit was partially me being disorganised but also I'd just like to go with the flow for once.

Of course we will do things and spend time out in this lovely sunny weather. It's just the school term is so busy with after school activities and having friends round, I'd just like to have some days with no plans for entertaining other children or spending a fortune on days out. My DD isn't being demanding as this is how her friends holidays planned with a dull social diary so I guess she expects the same.

OP posts:

Zippylovesgeorge · 11/04/2011 08:27

How old is she??

We rarely planned stuff when mine were small - definately preferred the go with the flow approach and decided when when we knew what the weather was like each day.

Jeeps · 11/04/2011 08:30

YANBU at all.
I need some things planned (meeting friends, visiting grandparents etc) to keep me sane, but equally need at least 2 totally free days a week to go with the flow.

MikeRotch · 11/04/2011 08:32

You do need some things planned. We have day on day off mentality

TheBolter · 11/04/2011 08:35

YANBU, children who are constantly entertained by external 'laid on' stimuli often grow up unable to entertain themselves alone. It's good for them to get bored; boredom stimulates the imagination and makes them less dependent!

I have so far organised a few days for the next two weeks but ultimately I'm going with the flow.

Prunnhilda · 11/04/2011 08:35

When I was a kid, we were fully expected to amuse ourselves during any holidays. Probably in the vain hope that I would keep my little brother busy.
It was shit so yes I do plan some things but also days off.

coccyx · 11/04/2011 08:35

YANBU, I like to plan some days but I also reel out the "in my day you found your own entertainment/stayed at home".

GiddyPickle · 11/04/2011 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackeyedsusan · 11/04/2011 08:45

i'm with you... i am grumpy because I have to go to an appointment this morning... and I am definately not feeling awake enough and energetic enough yet.

Original poster

thebird · 11/04/2011 09:21

Glad i posted. I was lying awake last night thinking maybe i was being U and even one of the schools looked at me on horror when i said we had no real plans. I also work part time so there's only much we can fit in. I have planned some things for my days off just to stave off the boredom. I just dont want my DCs to expect that every day should be a full on activity list - they need a break and so do I !

We are lucky enough to live near a beach and lots of parks so who needs bloody Legoland!

OP posts:

Original poster

thebird · 11/04/2011 09:23

Sorry' school mums looked at me in horror' need another coffee I think !

OP posts:

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 11/04/2011 09:29

YANBU! We have planned nothing! DDs mates are all busy anyay....one is on holiday....another is about to have a sister...another is lways in daycare and another one she likes has asked if we can meet....me and her Mum made a VERY tentative arrangement.....it's fine!

We are playing at home, visiting cousins and going to the park. Im also keen for DD to make friends with the litle girl who moved in over the road.

We never had things "arranged" as kids....did me no harm!

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 11/04/2011 09:32

prunhlda Did you reall find amusing youself shit? God I loved it! Playing out and doing as I pleased all day was fab!

Prunnhilda · 11/04/2011 09:34

No it was great some of the time, but we were a single parent family and more often than not I would be called on by my pals and I'd hear 'Can you just take your brother with you?' - that was the shit bit.

Bikes/woods/little beachy bit by the river/no adults for miles - kind of idyllic.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 11/04/2011 09:47

I WAS the little one who got foisted on my older siblings! Maybe that's why I was never bothered!

MrsDaffodill · 11/04/2011 09:59

How old is she? If you commit to things on certain days like "bake a cake", "picnic in garden" would that satisfy her craving to know the plan and your desire for chill-out time?

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 11/04/2011 10:09

That's what I do MsDaffodil....little activities....,"Today we will go and get new sand for your sandpit....tomorrow we will make cakes"

They like a plan the little slave drivers darlings.

FabbyChic · 11/04/2011 10:18

My children made their own entertainment, that is purely because I worked full time, and when I had a week off I wanted to do nothing at all.

Their dad used to take them out and the child minder done day trips, things at home.

HarrietJones · 11/04/2011 11:02

I'm trying not to plan too much as dd2 gets stressed worrying about where/when/who etc but doesn't if we don't have plans!

We do have a list of stuff we want to do at 'some point' like swimming, cinema & pizza express(tesco tokens run out at the end of the month)

Original poster

thebird · 11/04/2011 15:10

DDs are 7&4 and yes I think you are right msdaffodil that even if it's a little plan it just gives them something to look forward to and breaks things up a bit. It's just the idea of having a full 2 week schedule of playdates and daytrips I find exhausting not to mention expensive. So far today we've been to the beach, the shops and now they are busy painting stones they collected on the beach. Not a bad day for no plans :)

OP posts:

feetheart · 11/04/2011 15:21

Best sort of day thebird

Very little planned here apart from 6 days at my parents (now getting through that will be my challenge for Easter!)

So far today my two (8 and 5) have continued to plan a Playmobil/Polly Pocket wedding (that has been going on for months :)) and are now running around between the two gardens with nextdoor's DD and a water spray bottle. I have tidied, hoovered and MN'ed. Hope most of rest of holiday goes like this :o

MoChan · 11/04/2011 17:57

I think do-nothing time is good for children. Especially when they've come round to some notion that there should be entertainment laid on at all times... I am planning a couple of outings (though I haven't actually organised them yet) and a few days with my mum and dad/brother/dd's cousins. The rest of the time dd'll be playing outside (weather permitting) playing inside, doing crafts, etc. Mostly on her own, or with me.

bellavita · 11/04/2011 18:01

I would not lay on entertainment 24/7 of the holidays. They need to learn that life isn't like that.

Cinema, swimming, a day at the coast maybe. I think that is enough.

Children need to play out.

PigeonPair · 11/04/2011 18:03

Some of the mums at school have something planned for every day (playdates, activity clubs) and start organising way before the holidays. Smacks a bit of desperation to me I'm afraid. Obviously the thought of -Gulp - HAVING THEM AT HOME ALL DAY fills them with dread. Personally, I like a mix, it's lovely having a BREAK from the routine and just being able to chill..... but also nice to have a few trips planned.

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