to get my judgey pants on and pull them up HIGH...

[NoWayNoHow]

... when I see pre-school children with rotten/rotting teeth?

max-fax consultant =Maxillofacial Consultant

hth

Oh thanks. I mis read that sorry.

yes prem babies are different because of their development process. I am not convinced that every child I've seen with rotting and black teeth are prem babies or on a lifetime supply of anti-biotics...

Blimey! calm down everybody! The title was tongue in cheek and OP has posted a grovelling and sincere apology. Get over yourselves eh? She made a mistake, doesn't make her a vile person. Sheesh.

Did you actually read the thread springydaffs ?

It is lotm that we are replying to springy
She announced that rotten teeth are the fault of the parent due to sweets etc
The sound of back pedalling is quite loud now though

I think people have stopped flaming the OP actually springydaffs and have moved onto LOTM who has taken up her mantle.

No LOTM, probably some of them did have parents who were either ignorant of good dental care or didn't give a shit. But going round judging everyone who has a child with tooth decay makes you look a bit silly and uninformed.

Awh well done for apologising.

I will admit that DD's baby teeth were terribly decayed.

She had a medical condition that meant she had to be on special formulas/food supplements. These were, because of their nature, pure acid and sweetened with pure sugar.

We were told at the time of diagnosis that they would rot the teeth out of her head.

but it was that or starve.

She is fine now, and her adult teeth are lovely, but she does need braces.

Oh I am not backpeddling, I still stand by what I say, and the bit about defensive parents. But the bit about prem babies is obviously an isolated case.

But lotm nobody has said that ALL cases of rotten teeth have a medical cause. What people have said is you shouldn't judge without knowing the cause of the problem

ok, think I may have missed some pages () but I posted after the first 2 pages, in which posters came out all guns blazing, very personal attacks. I know this is AIBU and maybe people enjoy being foul and AIBU gives them the opportunity when RL doesn't but I still think some of the responses were well ott.

LOTM - so because DD wasn't prem, it has to be my fault

There are lots of reasons why kids may have fillings, not just being premature you know.

springydaffs I dont think people were OTT, more like justifiably defensive towards their children who have in all likelyhood been judged like this in RL.

But the OP graciously apologised and others have posted that this thread has actually been informative so all round until ladyofthemanor popped up [sigh]

Amber - I know I was judged over DD's teeth. By my BIL and wife no less. Even though they knew she had a medical condition and knew she was on a special diet.

And was judged in the local hospital when she had to get teeth out under GA by the nurses who were horrible until I lost the plot a bit and firmly told them no it wasn't sweets and lack of brushing

Thing is, until I had DD I probably would have made the same assumption

LOTM- don't you think that it is bad enough coping with a seriously ill child or one that will have a lifetime condition without being judged daily.

It is different if you know the facts but then i still don't understand what anyone hopes to achieve by judging that person, it is not helpful. It only makes the judger feel better about themselves, so there must have been something lacking in the first place. Judging someone is different than having an opinion. You can form and express your opinion when you have the facts.

Oh go back to sleep Springydaffs.

I'm bored of you lotm...walzing in like your shit doesn't stink, pretending like you know all the ins and outs of dentistry when you really have no clue.

Having seen LOTM's profile I'm less inclined to think harshly of her - it's very easy to think you know it all and are a perfect parent when you have one young toddler and are quite young yourself. As you get older and mature as a parent you tend to become less opinionated and realise that everyone makes mistakes with their kids. I when I think of some of things I said about other parents when I was at that stage.

blondebutonlyfaking, yes its horrible isnt it especially when it comes from people so close-but thats ignorance for ya!

We all judge one way or another but as we go through life and all it throws at you most of us realise its not that black and white......theres always some that hold tight to their judgypants though!

Waltzing *

" maybe people enjoy being foul and AIBU gives them the opportunity when RL doesn't "

to quote myself

LWNM, wind it in will you sweetheart

LadyoftheManor you have one child, a toddler, and are pregnant with your second.

Imagine that your child is born perfect, normal weight and so on. But doesn't feed or gain weight. You run from doctor to doctor to doctor and eventually get a diagnosis which cutting a long story short means that your child can't digest long chain protein.

That child is put on special formula, which is broken down (hydrolised sp?) into basically amino acids so that the child's body doesn't have to do any work to digest it. This formula also has sugars in it to provide all your child needs and do make it more palatable, and because it's been developed for PKU children it has to be sweetened with pure sugar as children with PKU can't have sweetners.

You then go through 4 years of hell - child can hardly eat anything, all food has to be cooked from scratch so you know what's in it, special bread, special pasta, no biscuits, no chocolate, no sweets because the child actually medically CANNOT HAVE THEM.

But the teeth rot out of their head because the supplements that they have to have to give them the nutrients they need to survive are going to destroy their teeth.

And then have someone with no knowledge of the situation and who isn't a dentist or specialist consultant tells you that your child has bad teeth because they had sweets or didn't brush their teeth.

Oh yes I imagine that's tough and I'm sorry for you.

I cook my ds's meals from scratch every day so I know exactly what's gone into them. But your case isn't a common one and cannot be used for every child who has bad teeth.

Someone, somewhere whether they're admitting it or not, are feeding their children shit and making them drink fizzy/coloured/flavoured crap on a regular basis...they just don't want to take responsibility.

LOTM

"YANBU. Ask any dentist and she/he will tell you that rotten teeth and cavities are caused by the same few things;

Eating crap
Sugary drinks
Crisps (are worse that sweets as they stick in your teeth)
Not regularly brushing
Drinking squash

Obviously you'll get the defensive parents on here claiming it's none of these things, but ask a dentist."

I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I would like for you to get off your high horse and stop making assumptions about other people when you have no idea of their lives.

I wouldn't wish what my child went through on anyone. It is hard enough to deal with. But people who judge when they have no idea of my (or anyone else's circumstances) make a difficult and challenging situation even harder to deal with.

The fact is, because of her medical condition my DD HAD to have full sugar fizzy drinks she could not have the diet drinks. So if we were out to dinner and ordered her the full sugar version and she had rotten teeth we were judged.

You would have judged me. And you would have been wrong.

LOTM- so on the basis of someone, somewhere you judge and be nasty about everyone, just in case they are responsible? You made a definate statement when you said that it is because of a bad diet perhaps you missed out the word 'sometimes' but your later posts have not put that across.

But I wasn't wrong was I?

Fizzy drinks rot teeth.

The whys and wherefores of giving the said child the fizzy drink isn't something I a) mentioned b) elaborated on c) care too much about.