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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my whole world stopped

142 replies

knittedbreast · 07/04/2011 12:48

today i lost my daughter in a shop. I looked round and she had gone, i called her name, nothing.

i looked down all the eisles and i just couldnt see her. it was awful. i felt like everything was moving in slow motion like i couldnt react properly. then i couldnt find any staff (it was primark), so im running trying to find someone, anyone. I told them id lost her, suddenly security are there.

i must have looked a state, once the other mothers reaslised what had happened they grabbed their childrens arms. I could hear people staring and saying" thats ladies lost her baby, shes gone". it all went quiet.

I just thought to myself, god if i can have her back il never ever complain about her annoying me or whining again. I just kept looking but there was no sign of her, i cant explain how that felt. I just kept thinking the worst, someone had snatched her and run off with her and id never see her again, or worse theyd find her dead in a few days.

and then this couple are walking towards me and the bloke says "excuse me, have you lost your daughter? shes outside the shop. shed run towards the road from the shop and a lady grabbed her, shes with security".
I started walking towards security and there she was happily smiling, calling for me.

I just grabbed her, held her and cried. There is nothing worse than that feeling. i just kept imaging having to tell my boyfriend id lost our daughter. you could tell the staff and security were relieved, people looked me in the eye again. it was like they wouldnt look at me when they thoguht shed gone. It was horrible, they pulled their little ones closer like the fact mine had dissapeared might be catching.

im so glad i have her back.

Please watch your little ones, stupid to say but i looked away, just glanced.

im going to let her have her milk now.

OP posts:
turdass · 07/04/2011 12:50

Ah bless you. That is every parent's worst fear. I am so glad that you got her back safely and quickly. Be kind to yourself - you have had a terrible shock.

valiumredhead · 07/04/2011 12:51

Glad she's ok, squeeze her tight and comfort yourself with the fact it happens to the best of us :)

kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/04/2011 12:53

Agreed. Someone took DD out of the shopping trolly when she was about 8 months old.
I think I aged about 25 years in the three minutes it took to track her down.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 07/04/2011 12:53

How old is she?

I've lost them in shops before, I assume (and have been proven right) that they are close by and nice people will help them, as thats generally the way the world works. Smile

It is frightening but theres no need to be hysterical.

HerHissyness · 07/04/2011 12:54

you poor love!

The little buggers eh? My DS did it in tesco, I had people diving for cover when I saw a glimpse of him playing hide and seek at the end of an aisle... Grin

How old is she? I told DS 3yo at the time that he scared me to bits, and please to not ever walk off like that again. I also told him that if he got lost in a shop to go to the lady or the man at the till and tell them he had lost his mummy.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/04/2011 12:55

Kreecher, did you kill them?

Original poster
knittedbreast · 07/04/2011 12:55

shes 2, she hadnt gone with anyone just decided to go for a walk or run out of the shop to one she preffered!

OP posts:
cath476 · 07/04/2011 12:56

kreecher - someone took her out of the trolley!!! Why would they do that? Were they trying to snatch her? I can't imagine what you must have felt like.

NearlySpring · 07/04/2011 12:59

Your post just made me cry. That feeling when you lose sight of your child is undescribable to anyone without children.

I lost my daughter in a massive indoor soft play place once. I had always gone and followed her around as she played until this day. It was a birthday party for a child's 5th birthday and all the other parents said they'd never follow the kids around. Dd was obviously not keen on being the only one with a parent behind her so I reluctantly agreed to sit with the others parents in the sofa area and drink tea - we were next to the massive play bit and could see them but not all the time. It was a secure place so the kids "couldnt" get out of the doors / gates and they came over to us every few minutes anyway.

Then I realised hadn't seen her for a few mins, none of the other parents had either, I asked the kids she was with- they hadn't seen her. I ran frantically around the whole place and couldn't find her. I searched the loos and the cafe, no sign. I told a staff member and they put out an announcement with her description and clambered all over the huge "frame" and searched everywhere. The couldn't find her. Time went really slowly as you said and I was in tears by that point. I kept imagining the missing child posters with her little face on them, the guilt was unbearable and I had almost convinced myself Id allowed my child to get snatched. Half hour had gone by at that time and none of us could find her. I called my mum and was convinced she had been "snatched" (Only was out is by staff operated gate and obviously child would have to be with an adult) my mother was hysterical too.

We eventually found her after 40minutes. She was hiding inside a slide playing "houses". I was actually physically sick with relief.

We have never been back there again as even the thought reminds me of that day.

midoriway · 07/04/2011 12:59

I've lost my 5 year old in the shops so many times, she has gotten quiet skilful at finding me now. I just stand still, and she comes back. She now knows if she is lost the best person to go to is another parent with small children, as they will move hell and high water to get her back to her mum, becuase people are fundamentally good.

AliSheedy · 07/04/2011 13:00

Horrendous. So glad everything is OK. I hate moments like that Sad.

I 'lost' my 2 yr old in an absolutely packed bowling alley at a kid's birthday party last year. She was gone for about 5 minutes, but it was the longest of my life. We had the whole party - adults and big kids - looking for her. I was in tears and couldnt speak. My Dh was grey.

Turns out she had toddled off to the amusement arcade section and was found sitting astride a coin-operated toy motorbike looking puzzled that it wouldnt work Grin

Changing2011 · 07/04/2011 13:00

Oh OP (hugs)

I thought someone had parked in a P&C space Shock

FlamingJamie · 07/04/2011 13:00

Oh that is such a terrible feeling, isn't it.

I'm with her about Primark though - I remember hating busy clothes shops like that when I was a little girl - all you can see are legs and mirrors

kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/04/2011 13:01

No I didn't kill them, I did tell them to fuck the fuck back off to their Wadi though.
We were living in Oman at the time and DD was a huge novelty, fair with white hair.

Gemsy83 · 07/04/2011 13:01

:(

My DD went missing for about 4 minutes when she was 3. Her father was meant to be 'looking after her' in the arcades on holiday. I was in the bar ordering our drinks when he came running in 'I cant find xxxx' I said what the hell are you doing in here then? My heart stopped I swear it did. She could have got out of the park onto the road, be wandering round acres of caravan park trying to find ours, scared, crying, frustrated :( it broke my heart. In the end she came out of the toilet (no more than a couple of minutes later but felt like a lifetime) crying her eyes out as she had struggled to get the door open.
It was hideous but we all learnt a lesson that day.

grovel · 07/04/2011 13:02

Happy for you and happy that this thread proves that most of us have had this awful experience.

nikki1978 · 07/04/2011 13:03

Ah yes it is scary when you lose them. Try not to get hysterical about it though. Generally the world is not full of child abductors.

Changing2011 · 07/04/2011 13:03

I lost my DD in a "family pub restaurant" once. It opened out (no barrier) onto a busy notorious A road with lots of roadside tributes, notorious blackspot. One minute she was there, the next gone! I was shaking. She had shut herself in the disabled toilets!

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/04/2011 13:03

Very restrained of you, kreecher I think I'd have snapped their necks and calmly stepped over the corpse. I might be a bit scary, come to think of it

Changing2011 · 07/04/2011 13:04

It was more the road access than the stranger danger that got to me on that occasion.

bearhug · 07/04/2011 13:08

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my 2.5 year old DS in the woods last weeken. A moment of inattention and then he was nowhere to be seen. Found again 10 minutes later with the help of kind strangers, who I probably didn't thank enough. It was the longest 10 minutes of my life.

nikki1978 · 07/04/2011 13:11

Yes access to dangerous things like roads or cliffs would be a scary one for me. Although I would never go anywhere near a cliff they really freak me out.

OrangeBernard · 07/04/2011 13:14

I'd like to add to this... if you do see a child who you think is lost DO intervene, don't think oh someone else will. It is your responsibility.

Butterbur · 07/04/2011 13:14

We lost DD when she was 3 at the local school fete - on DH's watch (a fact he has NEVER taken responsibility for. I was on the tea stall).

I have no idea how long it took us to find her. It seemed like hours, but was probably 10 or 15 minutes. She had gone out of the gate, and was walking home along a deserted country lane. God knows what was going through her head.

Ten years later it still brings me out in cold shivers.

OrangeBernard · 07/04/2011 13:15

I'd like to add to this... if you do see a child who you think is lost DO intervene, don't think oh someone else will. It is your responsibility.