my whole world stopped

[knittedbreast]

today i lost my daughter in a shop. I looked round and she had gone, i called her name, nothing.

i looked down all the eisles and i just couldnt see her. it was awful. i felt like everything was moving in slow motion like i couldnt react properly. then i couldnt find any staff (it was primark), so im running trying to find someone, anyone. I told them id lost her, suddenly security are there.

i must have looked a state, once the other mothers reaslised what had happened they grabbed their childrens arms. I could hear people staring and saying" thats ladies lost her baby, shes gone". it all went quiet.

I just thought to myself, god if i can have her back il never ever complain about her annoying me or whining again. I just kept looking but there was no sign of her, i cant explain how that felt. I just kept thinking the worst, someone had snatched her and run off with her and id never see her again, or worse theyd find her dead in a few days.

and then this couple are walking towards me and the bloke says "excuse me, have you lost your daughter? shes outside the shop. shed run towards the road from the shop and a lady grabbed her, shes with security".
I started walking towards security and there she was happily smiling, calling for me.

I just grabbed her, held her and cried. There is nothing worse than that feeling. i just kept imaging having to tell my boyfriend id lost our daughter. you could tell the staff and security were relieved, people looked me in the eye again. it was like they wouldnt look at me when they thoguht shed gone. It was horrible, they pulled their little ones closer like the fact mine had dissapeared might be catching.

im so glad i have her back.

Please watch your little ones, stupid to say but i looked away, just glanced.

im going to let her have her milk now.

A toddler came up to my brother a while back. She was lost and held on to my brothers legs asking him where her mummy was. My brother, also a father, was concerned but at the same time feared for his life in case the parents came along at that very moment and thought he was some kind of paedo stealing their daughter!!! All was well in the end as a shop assistant had seen the toddler approach him and she was quickly reunited with her parents. My poor brother, kids love him and they always come running up to him in shops and in the park!!!

I lost DS2 age 3, a few weeks back in Bluewater. We were having coffee with 3 toddlers and had fenced them in to the seating area with chairs to stop them wandering off. He managed to squeeze through and just ran into the shop and just seemed to disappear. I wasn't too panicked at first as I thought he was still in the shop, but as soon as I realised he wasn't, I was flooded with horrible horrible panic. The staff were fantastic and contacted security straight away. I didn't realise, but at Bluewater (and probably other large shopping centres) if a child goes missing they mobilise security across the entire centre and monitor all CCTV in every shop until they find them - usually pretty quickly. And if they think a child has been taken, they lock down the entire centre.

I was standing out in the main walkway yelling his name (I had no idea I could yell so loudly!) and crying and loads of parents stopped me to ask for a description and to give me hugs - it really made me feel like there really are good people out there. But it reduced me to a drivelling mess though - the fantastic security men asked what he as wearing and I was trying to describe his coat "Greeny grey. No, greeny brown. No, more browny green. No, browny grey..." etc etc. One of the security guys turned to the other one with a look of infinite patience and quietly said "I think she means Khaki". I could have kissed them, they were so fabulous. And of couirse when they found him in Monsoon (the other side of the centre) 30 mins later, he walked up, holding the security man's hand, all smiles and said "Mummy, I went to look for a balloon". I promptly grabbed him and burst into floods of tears!

So glad it was okay for you - it's terrifying.

oh god, how awful . Thank god she's okay.
One of my friends lives in north london and she told me what happened when she was in Tesco in Barnet. Just like the OP, a mother was browsing the aisles and took her eye off her daughter (4 yr old) for a split second. Nancy was actually next to this poor woman when she became aware her daughter had gone. She started screaming, and within a matter of minutes the security guards had shut the store and sealed the entrances. And thank god they did.
The police found the little girl in a mens loo cubicle, with two men. In the 2 minutes she had been gone they had changed her into a boys outfit and were in the middle of chopping her hair off.
It transpired they were part of a paedophile ring.
Thank god for the quick reactions of the police and security guards.
I feel sick whenever i think of it.

That's an urban legend hedgefund. Off to write your book, there's a darling.

Anyway I've never lost DS yet, knock wood, but even thinking about it chokes me up. :( I had awful PND the last trimester of my pregnancy with him, and that was when the McCann case was everywhere . I think it made me a little more paranoid with him than I would have been otherwise. That poor, poor little girl. :(

So glad she's ok knittedbreast!

Thank goodness she is ok.

Acquaintances of our just paid $30,000 to get their 11 year old son back from kidnappers in Guatemala. The three of them plus their best man and maid of honour went down to scout out where to get married next winter and they were all on the beach, but the son was approached by some men that told him his parents hired them to show him a good time because they were busy and they actually took him parasailing and snorkeling and fed him well and treated him like you would expect had you hired someone to entertain your child on a resort. But they got a phone call about how there son would loose a finger every day they didn't have the money. They were able to get it wired the next morning, and got their son back, who didn't realize he was a kidnap victim. Needless to say, they are getting married at a friend's B&B next winter.

YY hedgie, the number of times someone has said 'Oh that's an urban myth', but almost exactly the same thing happened to one of DD1's friends on a supermarket in Essex :(

Am still a bit about it because of this, but I'm sure it could happen.

Gotart that is horrifying.

Cheerful I can see that 100% and most of them probably are UMs but I know the mother and remember it happening. She was at the checkout and let her DD go to the loo on her own.

hedgie, do you know exactly the same thing happened in the toilets at the Sultan Centre in Qurm? The only difference was the kidnappers were dying the childs hair too.
Tis total bollocks IMO.

Hedgie, it seems, is an avid reader of the Encyclopedia of Clichés

Back to the OP, you poor love, you've had a terrible shock.

Agree entirely to the advice if a stray child is found to stay with the child and send someone else to security / customer services etc.

I 'lost' DS for the first time yesterday, it could only have been for 10 seconds while I zoned out momentarily in the playground and he ran behind a slide.

It does happen though. I do know the mother and her DD and it made the papers. A friend of a friend scenario is generally an urban myth I agree.

So glad your dd is ok op, you must have been terrified. :(

It happens to all of us doesnt it though such a horrible feeling ds went wandering off in tesco when i was gettin something of a shelf, I had about 6 members of staff helping to find him and somebody found him near the flowers i was hysterical my 2 year old was before that not the type to move a step away from my side after that it was the trolley and my eyes on him all the time, so scary

Glad it was all over quickly for you knitted. How awful but happily reunited. I am still a bit askance about a lost child at legoland. He asked us for help I remember he was 5 and three quarters (us family of 4, mum, dad, two dc) and we asked his name, who he was with, a quick look for them and explained we would take him to the central information point/first aid centre which seemed sensible because that's where we would have gone if ours had been lost and we were unable to find them. He was perfectly relaxed and chilled about this.

Walking to the central point and family walking towards us - woman starts running and pulls him away. Shouts at boy asks us what we think we were doing then yells abuse.

Nice - shall never forget the lack of thanks for looking after the boy and being treated like a criminal. Really doesn't make decent people want to get involved and who knows who else could have been about.

My daughter does a runner in the supermarket quite frequently and whilst it's disconcerting and annoying it doesn't worry me too much, as she's nearly 4, quite sensible (apart from her fugitive tendencies) and she knows what to do if she really couldn't find me. It would have been a different matter entirely when she was 2 though - in fact, I always wrestled her into a trolley then, as I knew she'd be off otherwise.

I'm not surprised they had a go at you onceamai you shouldn't ever encourage a child to walk off with a stranger - even if the strangers have children of their own. You should have waited with the child where you found him and sent your dh to the info point to alert the parents.

It's an awful feeling. I think we did once or twice but only for a minute or two.

I once found an 18 months year old walking near busy road. No parent around. No one was doing anything. I took him to the police station which was just across the road. Later they called me and said his parents had come for him. He'd left the house alone. I did worry at the time I'd be accused of child abduction but rather that than he be killed on the road.

SaraHasNiceBears - it was awful. I remember Nancy telling me about it. SHe said the Mother was beside herself, and like someone said earlier, every one was grabbing their children in a reflex instinct.
The premise of the idea is frighteningly simple and easy to orchestrate; these paedophile rings probably have a repertoire of kidnap methods, and i'm sure this is one of them.

OP I'm so glad dd is OK. Gosh I know it is such a horrible feeling, and things really do go into slow motion. When ds was 3 we were at Dinosaur World and had sat down for a bit while the dcs were playing (so I thought) in a large dinosaur playframe. After a while dd and dNiece come wandering back. Asked where ds is, no idea. Cue searching high and low through the play frame. No sign. Incredibly worried and upset by now, and we began to search the area. It was about 15 mins before I heard him crying 'mummy' and a lady was holding his hand 'looking for a lady in a blue t-shirt' which was how he'd described me. She was lovely thankfully and not at all judgmental, just concerned and had looked after ds so nicely. There are good people around. Seems like this has happened to many of us, must be a common experience, but so horrible.

GotArt - any idea which beach/area they were in? I have family in Guatemala and we own a property there... It's not the safest place, but also there's a lot of exaggeration and the issues tend to be with the drug gangs, so I would be interested to know exactly where it happened. Kidnappings tend to be with locals and very rare for foreigners to get targeted. Did they get the police/embassy involved?

My daughter did this to me last Halloween. I'd taken her and her brothers to a family Halloween themed day at a local family pub. One second she was there with me, the next she was gone. She must have been gone about ten minutes or so, only one of my friends cottoned onto what was happening when she saw me tearing about looking for her, it felt like wading through jelly and you know in films when noise is distorted?

She'd gone inside (we had been in the beer garden where the bouncy castle was) and sat on a rounded bench so I couldn't see her, my sons where white with fear and I remember looking at the rest of my friends who hadn't realised what was happening and thinking "are you all STUPID?" - because you expect the whole world to stop when you're living that fear. I had a large wine to calm down and got their dad to pick them up. Awful, it is the worst fear.

I was in a shop in a large shopping centre with my 2 ds and my mil. The shop had a play area at the back and a changing room. I was trying a top on ds1 and knew ds2 (23 months) was behind me playing. I took my eye off him as I thought there was no where he could go. Ds1 being a bit of a monkey trying the top on so took a few minutes. Turned round to check on ds2 and he had gone. In my head I knew he hadn't gone past me or I would have seen but there were a few adults milling around so I thought someone must have taken him.
For a full 10 minutes I ran around shouting I have lost my son, looking out in the shopping centre and in nearby shops. Security were called and a panic alarm went off.
Luckily the shop assistant was calm. There was a one way fire door inside the changing room at the back and he had let himself out and shut it behind him. I bawled my eyes out when I found him. He was as happy as Larry and thought it was a great adventure! Luckily for once mil didn't say too much...

seriously? thats fucking frightening.

not letting them away from me at all, especially not when we go on holiday.

im glad it was a happy ending for all of you, suppose it shows you cant be too careful

OP your post had me almost in tears. I can imagine the absolute fear that you must have felt. My ds is a bit too little to go off on his own (4 months!) but I think I would just panic. When I was little my mom and dad would hide from us to see what we did if we lost them (sit down and tell someone to go tell security but not go anywhere - my dad would actually send strangers to us to see if we would go).

Once when I was in Dublin, a little boy probably about 5 was crossing a very busy road on his own. I stopped him and started looking around for his mum, she just then ran out of the shop across the way in tears. When I flagged her down I don't think I've been hugged as hard. The poor little one looked shocked that his mum was upset!

it was awful, there were people all around whispering to each other "look, that womans lost her baby, that ladies lost her daughter" it was really sickening to hear. they all seemed to step away from me and those with children grabbed their hands and wrists. it all just went quiet and i couldnt speak, or think. i just panicked, it all slowed down, it was like my reactions werent working properly, god knows how i would have managed to help her in that state.

but then i do get very oerly worried when it comes to them, i remember when my son got a really bad cold when he was a baby he went all floppy and grey and his temp wouldnt come down. i had no experience of babies so i asked the nursery what i should do and they looked really worried and jst said hospital now. i honestly thought he had meningitus and was going to die. when we got there i had to keep asking the docs to repeat what they were saying as it i just couldnt understand the words they were saying no matter how many times they said it.
they ended up giving me valium to calm me down-he had a chest infection.