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AIBU?

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Original poster

my whole world stopped

142 replies

knittedbreast · 07/04/2011 12:48

today i lost my daughter in a shop. I looked round and she had gone, i called her name, nothing.

i looked down all the eisles and i just couldnt see her. it was awful. i felt like everything was moving in slow motion like i couldnt react properly. then i couldnt find any staff (it was primark), so im running trying to find someone, anyone. I told them id lost her, suddenly security are there.

i must have looked a state, once the other mothers reaslised what had happened they grabbed their childrens arms. I could hear people staring and saying" thats ladies lost her baby, shes gone". it all went quiet.

I just thought to myself, god if i can have her back il never ever complain about her annoying me or whining again. I just kept looking but there was no sign of her, i cant explain how that felt. I just kept thinking the worst, someone had snatched her and run off with her and id never see her again, or worse theyd find her dead in a few days.

and then this couple are walking towards me and the bloke says "excuse me, have you lost your daughter? shes outside the shop. shed run towards the road from the shop and a lady grabbed her, shes with security".
I started walking towards security and there she was happily smiling, calling for me.

I just grabbed her, held her and cried. There is nothing worse than that feeling. i just kept imaging having to tell my boyfriend id lost our daughter. you could tell the staff and security were relieved, people looked me in the eye again. it was like they wouldnt look at me when they thoguht shed gone. It was horrible, they pulled their little ones closer like the fact mine had dissapeared might be catching.

im so glad i have her back.

Please watch your little ones, stupid to say but i looked away, just glanced.

im going to let her have her milk now.

OP posts:
iskra · 07/04/2011 13:15

My mum lost my little brother in Ikea when he was 3. They put out an announcement, & apparently a woman came up to him & asked him if he was lost. He said "no" because he knew where he was. We didn't find him for 30 mins.

Gemsy83 · 07/04/2011 13:15

LOL Iskra trust kids!

Original poster
knittedbreast · 07/04/2011 13:17

half an hour? i cant imagine that. im so grateful to that woman and security.

if i ever see a lone child like that i dont care i will grab it and take them to security bollocks to the consequences.

OP posts:
OrangeBernard · 07/04/2011 13:18

It takes a village to raise a child.

MooMooFarm · 07/04/2011 13:21

Don't beat yourself up over it OP - it happens to everyone, no matter how paranoid careful you are.

I once thought I'd lost DS1 on a pier - the worst place possible! After probably about the longest 60 seconds of my life he jumped out from behind a door and shouted 'boo'!

Didn't know whether to laugh or strangle him!

belgo · 07/04/2011 13:22

I've never lost one of my children (although I did forget ds in his pram in a supermarket once).

I have found a child though, about 2 years of age, outside a shop going towards the road, I took her back into the shop, told the assistants on the till that I had found this girl, walked around the shop, and found her mother at the back of the shop who didn't even appear to have noticed that her daughter had gone missing. Most surreal.

valiumredhead · 07/04/2011 13:23

if i ever see a lone child like that i dont care i will grab it and take them to security bollocks to the consequences

Don't! Wait WITH the child and ask someone else to go to security.

Original poster
knittedbreast · 07/04/2011 13:25

sorry i mean like in this case, if i had done that id be waiting in a road!

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 07/04/2011 13:26

Oh sorry, yes of course knittedbreast - I was thinking of situations in a shop or shopping centre.

seoraemaeul · 07/04/2011 13:27

Living in Asia my DD (1 when we arrived and now 2 and with with curly blonde hair) goes "missing" a lot. The first time it happened I almost had a fit - now I turn around, look back and the supermaket trolley isn't there so I wander about until I find a gaggle of old dears feeding her sweeties while she sits like the queen of bloody sheba! I am dreading moving back to the UK and trying to explain "stranger danger" to my kids. They are simple not going to grasp the concept.

Hassled · 07/04/2011 13:28

Glad you're OK now knittedbreast - must have been a hell of a shock.

I found a child too - a little girl of about 20 months toddling up towards the Ring Road. We stood there for a while - no one about - and eventually I took her home and sent my DH to wait where we'd found her. And after a while he spots a distraught man running up the road - quite how it took the father so long to realise she'd opened the front door and got out, I don't know.

He was incredibly grateful at the time but a few days later I saw him with the girl and the mother - there was no eye contact, no smile, nothing. He clearly had never told the mother what happened.

mummytopebs · 07/04/2011 13:28

Poor op it must be an awful feeling :(

I remember when I worked in a shop and a couple lost there 6 year old, the police were informed as no one could find her and they thought she had been snatched, the shops on the retail park were closed and no one was allowed out of the car park while the police searched!!!! She was eventually found asleep in the warehouse at the back of the shop(she had hidden herself under some clothes and gone to sleep). Horrendous feeling.

Glad she is back safe and well, give her lots of hugs

mamababa · 07/04/2011 13:31

this happened to me yesterday with my 3 year old DS in tesco. He was playing, ran off down one aisle when i got there he'd gone. Instantly frantic after looking down 3 aisles, no sign. Then he popped out. 'I'm here!!'
Think tesco customers thought as I was loon as I was shouting, hugging and crying all at once!!

ln1981 · 07/04/2011 13:32

it really is one of the most terrifying things about being a parent.dd went missing whilst we were at Thomasland a couple of years ago. dp was watching her while i took ds1 on a ride, i saw his face change when he realised that she wasnt there and i could do nothing as the ride hadnt quite finished. dp was hysterical, both ds's were hysterical-it was the longest few minutes of my life i think. turns out she had wandered off to wave at the man driving Percy, but she was hidden from view. i have never felt so relieved to find her but of course, she was adamant that she wasnt lost! she actually got very cross with dp as he wouldnt put her down after that!

IloveJudgeJudy · 07/04/2011 13:32

I once lost DD when she was 4 in M&S in Bluewater. They were great, checked all the doors for me and made sure she hadn't gone out there; I looked everywhere. She was hiding Blush for a game.

I've never forgotten that feeling. It's horrendous and then the relief when you get them back.

Gwendolinemarylacey · 07/04/2011 13:36

It is the worst feeling, glad your DD is ok.

I 'lost' DD (3) briefly. I'd left her in one seat, gone to get some drawing things and she'd gone when I got back. All she'd done is move to another table but I couldn't see her for a minute or so as there were so many people. Sounds like nothing but the world stops spinning as you said and it felt like an hour.

nobodyimportant · 07/04/2011 13:40

It's such an awful feeling :(. I lost my DD a few times. She was terrible for wandering off without a care in the world, and as you've discovered you only have to look away briefly and they're gone! She also used to like playing hide and seek while shopping and as a consequence she ended up spending a good part of any shopping trip strapped in the buggy until she was nearly 4! DS has never been one to wander off like that, touch wood I've not lost him yet.

So glad your DD is safe and sound. They almost always are, especially if you realise very quickly that they are gone. It's us that are left with the scars!

Mishy1234 · 07/04/2011 13:43

What a dreadful experience OP. I almost cried myself after reading your post. I'm so glad you found her and all was fine.

PatTheHammer · 07/04/2011 13:49

When my nephew was about 3.5 he thought it would be 'funny' to hide in one of the display kitchen cupboards at a large Focus/Wickes type thing. he was in there for 10 minutes. My Sister, her partner, all of security and practically all of the shop were frantically searching for him inside and out in the car park when he burst out of the cupboard to 'surprise' themShock.

Apparently he had heard nobody callingHmm

My sister was so relieved that she wasn't angry...............for about half an hour, then she was lividGrin!

Glad it all turned out well OP.

MrsWinklepicker · 07/04/2011 13:50

I lost my 2 year old in a restaurant one time - we were so busy pfaffing around parking buggies that we didn't notice her wander off. As soon as I noticed, obv the heart stopped and I tore out on to the pavement as it was on a busy road ... but then she was spotted inside the restaurant, where she had sat herself at an empty table waiting for lunch!

Rillyrillygoodlooking · 07/04/2011 13:51

Another one who is glad your DD is ok and nearly cried reading your post!

We "mislaid" DS in a very busy shopping centre about three weeks ago. I was handing DD to OH and we turned round and DS had got off his chair and was nowhere to be seen. About 30 seconds later we saw him and grabbed him. He sat back on the chair and was told not to run off. He then tried to run off three times. Once OH followed him at a distance to see how far he got. He got practically to the other end of the shopping centre before a security guard stopped him. OH said that DS never once looked back and looked like he was really enjoying himself. Meanwhile I am sat back in the food court seething at DH for taking so long to come back and thinking he had lost him again.

DS is 3 and a half. I am very nervous of losing him.

amberleaf · 07/04/2011 13:52

Even 30 seconds of that panicky feeling is too long!

It happened to me once in a supermarket, he was right there...then not, we were just walking up and down adjacent aisles looking for each other so he wasnt far and it was only for a few mins but i was close to tears trying to be calm but thinking ok can i just panic now!

I wasnt worried about him being abducted i just didnt want him to get scared/upset before i found him. he was fine btw not scared at all.

I remember losing my mum a few times [usually in clothes shops after hiding between hanging clothes!] and its a similar sick panic feeling that you get.

OP try not to beat yourself up-it happens, maybe get some wrist reins for when you're in shops like that without a buggy? [my son was past the wrist reins age when i 'lost' him]

stoppinchingthedummy · 07/04/2011 13:52

Awww gosh i feel your pain - this happened to me last week only we had just come out of school - The school is joined onto another primary school with three exits ...One minute my ds 4 was there ,the next he was gone :( It was about 6 minutes all in all but i was shouting and crying ..everyone was looking for him it was so horrible ....He was completly oblivious to losing me once found and like you i pulled him close and cried some more . Glad your dd was found safe - it certainly made me realise easy it is for them to be just gone . Hugs ((()))

Mishy1234 · 07/04/2011 13:53

I haven't lost one of mine (yet), but a while ago we were just leaving a restaurant after having lunch. It was one of those very busy family places in the centre of town. I saw a little boy (about 3 at a guess) leaving in amongst a large group. He just looked out of place and none of the adults really seemed to be aware of him.

DH had just gone out with DS in the pram and I shouted to him to stop the child from leaving. He was a bit hesitant, but he did and I asked the child to wait with me. A minute or so later his father came running towards the door completely distraught. The poor man, I'm sure it took a good while for him to recover.

JemAndTheHolograms · 07/04/2011 13:55

This happened to me when when dd2 was 3 also in Primark. It was early on a weekday morning so not all busy. I was at the till paying and she had been holding on to the pram. I looked around and she was gone. That awful moment when you do a quick scan of the area and call there name and they don't pop out. I nearly died, if felt like hours before I'd found her when it was probably only about 2 minutes. I kept calling her name getting more and more panicked. Eventually a woman said there's a little girl playing in the window display. I ran over to her hugged her and then gave her the bollocking of her life about not running off.

It's bloody horrible in those minutes when you can't find them.