To be annoyed by pils trying to categorize my baby?
Moulesfrites · 06/04/2011 09:48
I probably am BU, as everything the pils do seems to irritate me ATM, but they keep coming out with statements about 10 week old ds like:
Clearly, he's a baby who likes lying down.
He's a bubble blower
He's a thumb sucker
He's a comfort sucker
When they ave seen him do any f the above once or twice. To me, ds is just himself, and I don't understand this need they have to put him in a box.
God help me when I become a mil as they can do no right!
Olivetti · 06/04/2011 09:51
YANBU. It is the most annoying thing in the world. My MIL visited when DD was 3 weeks old, and naturally the baby was crying quite a lot at night. MIL departed, and promptly left message on answerphone saying she was sending me a special blanket for "difficult babies who won't settle". I feel your pain.
Bubbaluv · 06/04/2011 09:56
There really isn't much you can say about babies, so people prattle on with anything that comes to mind. You PIL seem to be looking for positive or neutral comments at least so YABU and a bit PFBish maybe?
It could be worse - see Olivetti's post, and even that is not too bad really - just a bit
Have a glass of wine and relax.
Domesticbodess · 06/04/2011 09:59
I can understand it could be a bit annoying, but at least they are interested. Thinking about it, it must be quite hard adapting to being a GP (if this is their first grandchild). You've got a new baby who is part of you and that you adore, but you're one removed and not in control like when you were a parent. Hmmm, not sure I'm looking forward to it.
Keep stumm and smile sweetly. Congratualtions on you new DS!
confuddledDOTcom · 06/04/2011 10:03
YANBU, I have the rare visits when they seem to become experts! My biggest peeve is "Daddy's girl"! They're not at all but because he works away a lot he does everything when he's back and he's the nice parent. People only have to see him pick them up (which I can't do because of my back) and it's "aw! She's such a Daddy's girl!" I guess you just have to let them get on with it really and be glad you don't hear it more often.
StigoftheBump · 06/04/2011 10:08
My pet hate is when they tell me that DC3 is such a happy baby (because they see him for short spells, when he gets 100% attention and coos away at them).
Also hate GP's ranking grandbabies in order of difficultness (not a word, I know) without taking into account that they saw about a billion times more of some than others, based on geographical location.
All of which I can live with, until they fecking contradict me if I happen to say that eg DC3 has been a bit grumpy/not sleeping etc: "oh, but he's such a happy baby!", or "at least he's not like grandbaby X" (who lives almost next door and spent most of the early days in GP's company).
Sorry, I think this touched a nerve
lesley33 · 06/04/2011 10:14
I have said to mothers that their baby is such a happy baby. I'm not stupid I know the baby may not be like that the rest of the time. But I had always seen this comment as a neutral comment to make about a baby.
Because tbh there is a really limited amount you can say about a baby and obviously you want to avoid negative comments. So what should people say about your baby stig if they are just trying to show an interest?
BluddyMoFo · 06/04/2011 10:17
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Quenelle · 06/04/2011 10:17
I agree, they just want to talk about him. Far better than showing no interest at all. I kept my ILs at arms' length when DS was tiny and really regret it.
Fortunately I came to my senses and he spends lots of time with them now, he adores them and they adore him.
Onetoomanycornettos · 06/04/2011 10:17
Not all babies like being put down, many cry if they are laid down on a flat surface, so it's not an entirely unreasonable thing to say.
They are taking an interest, yes, they are not saying profound things. But try not to take all this stuff so personally, they haven't said anything negative, they are just appreciating him and commenting on his activities, not boxing him in.
Great PIL/own family support is so important, as all the threads on here moaning that no-one ever visits or babysits show. I would try not to get het up about what appear to me very harmless remarks.
StigoftheBump · 06/04/2011 10:18
It is a nice, neutral comment to make, and I wouldn't take exception to it if made by a mum on the school run, say.
Bit more galling from GPs who know that said baby (while gorgeous) has spent a lot of his first few months yelling his little head off, bless him.
GnomeDePlume · 06/04/2011 10:30
Dont worry, it carries on:
- GC1 is 'academic' because she learned to read before GC2 (who is younger so errr... yes
- GC2 is 'sporty' because she rides her bike a lot (we lived in the Netherlands so it is kind of compulsory)
and on and on and on.....
smile and ignore, smile and ignore. Think of it as spare time to think about other things!
faverolles · 06/04/2011 10:38
Yanbu. My ds is the same age, and the thing that really bugs me is when he cries (which doesn't happen that often) people always comment that he must have tummy ache.
Why must he? How do they know? Did he tell them? Is it not possible that he's crying cos he's hungry? Why is it always tummy ache?
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