1st of, I can't understand why people have time to actually care about this enough to then make a massive deal over it. And then I can't actually understand why I've gone and risen to it other than its completely caught me out of the blue and now its bothering me that I'm having to make a massive deal of it on a forum just to get it out of my system so to speak!
I have b/g twins who until Feb half term were in the same reception class as each other in the same school. DS was exceptionally unhappy and we moved him at Feb half term to a different school. Left dd at the old school. She has a strong friendship group. DS won't go back to the old school even to pick up dd and its obviously extremely difficult as you can imagine for us. We have professionals working with ds over his anxieties, its that serious. As you can gather just from that we have real things to worry about so why I've risen to this I can't understand!
My dd has a friend A. My ds doesn't dislike her but isn't friends with her. DS has hit A on a number of occasions (he has SN and hits when not properly supported which is ultimatly why we moved him). A's mother complained to the school and specifically asked the school to keep A away from DS. She then came round to our house and laid into me about DS and how someone like him shouldn't be allowed in a mainstream school. I was very restrained then and didn't rise to her, mainly because quite honestly we were at the point of thinking that if other parents complained then maybe the school would get off their arses and do something about ds. Plus she is the mother of dd's friend. I should point out that this is a tiny school with only 5 girls in dd's reception year and only a total of 72 pupils in the school so its important that the dd's friendship with A is not jepodised.
Fast forward to now and of course being twins ds and dd share the same birthday. Because of all the issues and ds hating the old school we've made the decision to have seperate birthday parties. DD has invited just the reception girls to her party including A. DS has invited all the class from his new school plus 3 from the old school (2 of whom are girls but he went to nursery with them, they are in his eyes his friends). A's mother launched into a tirade at me outside school in front of the children about how we're excluding her daughter and that she can't believe we haven't invited A to ds's party and her daughter is very very upset. She wouldn't listen to a word I said saying that I've invited some of the girls so I should have invited her daughter. I said that ds see's A as dd's friend not his and its his party not a shared party but oh no thats not good enough. I've ended up telling her the decision has been made and the matter is closed. But I've come away all het up and wondering now if I've been wrong not to invite her. But I just can't see why ds should have invited her. A and ds weren't and aren't friends. A's mother specifically asked for A to be kept away from ds when he was in that school. A's mother has been rude to me about DS and how he is and how SN shouldn't be in mainstream schools. Yet she's still expecting an invite and more to the point has actually been extremely nasty to me about it.
I can normally see things from other peoples point of view but I just don't get this at all which is why I'm now wondering if I'm the one being unreasonable. Am I?
AIBU?
Am I or is the other mother?
rebl · 05/04/2011 19:52
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rebl theres no question of you having flipped and social rules having chnaged. You have twins attending 2 different schools and 1 won't set foot in the playground of the other. YET you do it as its best for your DT's. This juggling act alone makes me wonder why child A's mum isn't here asking AIBU to think this mum should have just invited my DD instead of punching me in the playground. 
charlieandlola I like the certificate idea .
I actually can't believe its happened and I've risen to it! I'm normally pretty level headed. I'm glad I've had MN say I've not flipped. I was actually a bit worried about posting here and getting a flaming. I must have lost control of my senses in my anger. I feel better now, thank you 
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...accept she is loopy and move on So this woman thinks she can insult your DS regarding SN, order the school to keep her DD away from your DS and expect an invite for her DD to your DS's party 
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Sorry OP, but if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't waste my time speaking to her because she obviously won't listen to you anyway.
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Crazy mum has not been spotted today, and her dd wasn't in school. But I suspect she will be there tomorrow. Its clearly been broached by her to the other 2 girls parents who have been invited and they were a bit that she was making a big deal over it. I worried she would turn up on my doorstep. She's done it once when ds hit her dd and attacked my parenting skills and so I wouldn't put it passed her to do it again. I still worry she'll turn up tomorrow. I will have to face her I'm sure of it at some point soon. The village is just too small not to.
Everytime she's popped into my head today I just suddenly, uncontrollably think fruitloop . And when I think about it properly I think crazy fruitloop . That makes me feel better .
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