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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be unhappy with childminders request

87 replies

miniwedge · 05/04/2011 13:21

Childminder sent me a text last night whilst she was out with her other half, can X pick up dd from school on Friday as her husband has booked a weekend away.

I don't know X, dd has met her once.

Also, if I am not happy with this it means I need to take time off work at short notice and I can't do that at the moment. I am unable to take leave unless it is unpaid emergency leave until after easter.

I'm also pissed off that if I wanted to go away for the weekend I wouldn't go to my boss and tell him that X will be there instead. X doesn't know my job or the people I interact with and it wouldn't be appropriate. So how is it acceptable for a substitute to be put in place for childcare?

I did reply that neither I or dd know X, her reply was that dd has met X once.....

I feel like I am having the piss taken out of me.
I can't work out if I actually am or if I'm being mean.....

OP posts:

Pesha · 05/04/2011 19:21

As a parent I would be quite happy to trust my CM's judgement and to let my 10yo dd go to someone else's house for a couple of hours. If my CM had not offered alternative arrangements then I would be annoyed.

As a CM I probably wouldn't ever ask this of a parent as I always feel incredibly guilty about letting parents down but, as Saltire said, if my dp did something like this without thinking and no doubt being absurdly pleased with himself for doing it, then I would do what your CM has done and try an organise cover and hope and pray that you were ok with it!

I have always tried my hardest to be flexible, quite often parents are late or will leave it till the day before to ask me to have them for an inset day (despite me always asking if they'll need me several weeks ahead!) or extra hours and if I possibly can then I will. I always try and make drs appts etc for times when I'm not working and cancelled several appts for ds2 to have his jabs last year until I got a time that the parents could manage. So I would really hope that a little bit of flexibility and understanding would be forthcoming from the parents if possible.

LucieLucie · 05/04/2011 20:54

What time does your DD need collected from school? If its say 3.20 pm and she gets collected by parent at 5pm then that is less than 2 hours care - therefor no need to be registered??

Your CM is chancing it a bit but she prob has no other mindees and could leave to get away for the weekend early on the Friday rather than 'wasting' her day waiting to collect your DD.

Could you not finish work a couple of hours early and collect your DD as a favour to let your CM get away? What would you do if you had the Dentist/Doctor?

itsalarf · 05/04/2011 21:00

Ideally, you want to let her go, just to be helpful. Is her DH a bit of an idiot in general though? Also, where are they off to that the departure time is so crucial? What should have happened is that her DH should have had you in on it. You know, "I am hoping to take your CM away, can you manage?".
Anyway, it is done now. Does her school have an afterschool club which could take your DD just this once? Do you have A DP? If so, are they flexible? what do all her friends do after school?

Georgimama · 05/04/2011 21:11

As far as I can tell x is not a registered childminder. I would not let my child go home with some random replacement my childminder had come up with, who is neither registered nor insured. I can't believe how many people think the OP should just suck this up.

onlion · 05/04/2011 22:02

Totally agree georgimama particularly someone the OP has never met!

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 05/04/2011 22:18

She's 10 years not 10 months - spending two hours with an adult she hasn't met before really isn't the end of the world. If you trust your CM to look after her, surely you trust your CM's judgment about this person. 2 hours, after school, child aged 10 - she doesn't need to be a registered childminder.

But if you aren't happy, surely your DD has a friend she could go home with for a couple of hours?

onlion · 05/04/2011 22:24

An adult the parent hasnt met before, not the child...big differehce IMo

onlion · 05/04/2011 22:27

BTW i wouldnt necessarily trust my cm's judgment on another adult. It took me many many painstaking months with much consideration just to choose my cm. She is acceptable to look after mine for a few hrs after school but a whole unknown person she just "knows"? Id rather take the time off work .

Georgimama · 05/04/2011 22:29

And what happens if the OP's daughter is not OK with this uninsured, unregistered childminder? What if she is injured?

onlion · 05/04/2011 22:30

I wonder if the OP even knows where X lives. Hopefully she will have an idea of where her child would be going.

Bogeyface · 05/04/2011 22:33

She's 10 years not 10 months - spending two hours with an adult she hasn't met before really isn't the end of the world.

Has this person been CRB checked? Is s/he safe? There are any number of things that could be "the end of the world" that the CM or the OP arent aware of such as drug use, alcoholism, inappropriate sexual behaviour......

onlion · 05/04/2011 22:36

I think i might even consider it if this person was standing in for the cm at her usual place of work/her house but for a complete stranger to pick my child up and take them to their own home (as yet possibly of uncertain address) would be too much of a stretch for me.

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