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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not put bells on my cats?

96 replies

Mousesmummy · 04/04/2011 18:40

Right the story goes :

Have lived in our house for 5 years, had 2 cats for the last 3 years.
Normally get on very well with our neighbours, they get children Easter eggs etc.
Neighbour man is 89, feeds the birds in his garden.
LOTS of cats in the street.
Inevitably there have been a few bird deaths!!
Their daughter asked us to put bells on our cats.
We said we had been advised not to as collars can be a strangle risk, even the 'snapping' ones.
She is not happy and has said if anything happens to her dad (whilst he is getting up to chase our cats away) she will hold me personally responsible.
I am p**d off at this comment to say the least.
So AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
paulapantsdown · 04/04/2011 22:08

God, why are some cat owners are just weird?!
Why are you even considering the needs of a dumb animal before the wishes of a HUMAN BEING?

Cats are not native animals to the UK - birds are. The request from your neighbour is perfectly reasonable. Stop being precious about it.

MadamDeathstare · 04/04/2011 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 04/04/2011 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NameChange1234 · 04/04/2011 22:20

YABU

tabulahrasa · 04/04/2011 22:21

I can't do a link, but if you google liberator cat collar it'll come up

it's a collar with a flashing light and beepy noise set off by avjumping cat, you can take off the unit and attach it to a snap release collar and bung a bell on as well

it stopped mine from bringing something in daily to more like once a week

Punkatheart · 04/04/2011 22:27

'Dumb animal?' There is an issue with collars - that's why so many people prefer to microchip. The request of the neighbour was reasonable until she added the daft element that if her father hurt himself running after the cats he would hold OP responsible. That's just daft - as there are clearly lots of cats around. Take away one cat from its hunting ground and another will take its place. Cat deterrent works - why not use it?

Cats are not native to the UK - not really sure what relevance that has really - sounds like the animal equivalent of the BNP.

My cat is an indoor cat - she prefers it that way. I don't like it if a cat kills a bird but then foxes kill too - so do birds of prey. It is nature and if you cannot stop it outright - you can deter it somewhat.

Neighbourly relations should be about rational compromise - not emotional blackmail.

hellymelly · 04/04/2011 22:35

My vet told me not to put a collar with elastic in, on my cat.Apparently if the cat gets caught -say by a branch- they spin and the collar gets tighter and throttles them.The collar he suggested was a clear plastic tube,with details inside,that couldn't twist but could be backed out of,or would break appart at the clip together join. I don't have a cat now,so I am not sure what it was called,i will do a recce.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/04/2011 22:40

How will she hold you responsible? Report you to the police? 'she has a cat who catches birds'. Bonkers.

I have a Bengal and 5 bird feeders. He catches some but far more survive because I feed them. The sparrowhawk comes into my garden to try and catch them too. And the magpies eat the fledglings.

This is nature, most hunts fail. Cats have a legal right to roam too, you are not required to restrain or controll them.

What she's really upset about is that 89 year old dad lives alone and she won't/can't be there if he did fall.

Original poster
Mousesmummy · 04/04/2011 22:44

As a vege I don't like it either to see any dead birds but as I said in OP unless she is going to bell all the cats in the area what good will it do?
They are free to throw things at them, shoot water etc at them etc but I am not prepared to be blackmailed by this woman. We already have a big dog, he doesn't mind the cats {wierd non-hunting greyhound/lurcher type}
I am not some 'weird cat person' and would not normally have had cats- (we got them as they were homeless). butI wouldn't dream of telling my neighbours up the street to keep their cats out of my garden.
I will get some spray for him despite his daughters refusal and see how that goes down.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mousesmummy · 04/04/2011 22:47

Fluffy - me thinks you may be right - it seems strange that after all this time it now suddenly is a problem? And he is married - and she can walk just fine but it is him who doesn't like the cats and is up and down chasing them the minute they set foot on their drive.

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 04/04/2011 22:49

Yes - you have put your finger on it. There is guilt underlying all this anger from the daughter....

Perhaps a reasonable chat about what is really upsetting her?

barbarianoftheuniverse · 04/04/2011 22:50

Our very loved cat has a collar and a bell, plus large bright yellow/orange bow tied to collar. She has gone from manic hunter to a few mice a year. We keep her in at night, and early mornings too.

She shows up to birds ( and cars). We take the collar off at night so she can have jingle free dreams. I don't think it's unkind, and the bird slaughter has ended. So worth a try.

MadamDeathstare · 05/04/2011 00:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unitarian · 05/04/2011 01:46

Ours have collars on because the little thingies that make the cat flap open for them are on the collars. We have to have a cat flap that only opens for our cats because otherwise the cats next door come in and spray.

They are elasticated collars and are just tight enough for them not to be able to do anything daft like getting their front legs caught in them.

We did have a real killer-cat and his collar clanked with bells but they didn't stop him. I saw him do a hunting-run with his chin tucked in to muffle the bells!

Get an elasticated collar with a bell and please your neighbour. The bell won't make a whit of difference though and after a month or two it can quietly be lost.

ilovesprouts · 05/04/2011 07:58

ok ,ive told my cats this morning no more catching birds etc or i will chop there legs off :) Grin ihave 4 cats and its only my oldest one felix he gets flying rats mostley ,but takes them to my neighbours ans she shouts to me to move them boak!! they are headless Shock

krepsly · 05/04/2011 08:34

YABU I hate cats, I think they're horrible animals and I'm constantly having to run outside with jugs of water to rescue my rabbits and guinea pigs from the evil little shits.

I feel really bitter actually that I'm constantly having to look out for and clean up after other people's pets. I'd love to get a dog and routinely let it wander around the neighbours gardens. See how well that goes down.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 05/04/2011 08:45

I can't believe people think you are responsible for where your cat goes. I guess those replies are from people who know nothing about cats?

Undertone has already said it but er, yes! It is your responsibility fgs. You bought the cat, you open the door to let it out, your responsibility doesn't stop there. You are responsible for what it does wherever it goes, sorry. You don't get out of it that easily. And I know plenty about cats, thanks.

(love the little furry yob line :o)

GwendolineMaryLacey · 05/04/2011 08:47

PMSL @ sprouts lining her cats up and giving them a talking to :o

QuietTiger · 05/04/2011 08:49

They do in the US... its quite normal to have your cat declawed and keep it inside.

Declawing a cat is barbaric and cruel, it is the equivalent of amputating all your fingers at the first joint. It is BANNED in the UK, as it is in New Zealand, Australia and most European countries and I believe that (UK vets, please correct me if I'm wrong) if a vet in the UK declaws a cat for anything other than a genuine medical reason, they are looking at prosecution and being struck off the register of veterinary surgeons. Declawing is not teh answer. although I considered it this morning when the grey feline shark stabbed me with her claws to get me to feed her.

QuietTiger · 05/04/2011 08:51

Paulapantsdown - Cats ARE native to the UK - starting with the Scottish Wildcat Felis Silvestris Grampia and before it became extint, the European Lynx.

steben · 05/04/2011 09:01

YANBU at all - and how would she know it was your cat when there are lots in the neighbourhood. Agree with the water pistol tactic - it does not harm them and they soon learn. Our cat does not have bells and we advised our neighbour to use a water pistol when she complained about him 'going' in her garden. He wasnt it was other cats as he uses a litter tray!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 05/04/2011 09:13

Yes but QuietTiger, they're not the smae as the cats we have as pets, are they? Confused

I thought domestic cats were descended from North African cats (or somesuch).

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 05/04/2011 09:17

I Googled. They came from the Middle East apparently.

BringBackGoingForGold · 05/04/2011 09:44

Christ, what does it matter where cats come from? I second the post that said this whole argument reeks of BNP.

Get a snap-off collar and bell (won't make any difference but will hopefully placate the nuts daughter), make sure she sees the cat wearing it, then remove it. If she complains (and she won't, I'd put money on her forgetting all about it), tell her that you're doing your best but cats lose their collars all the time.

geordieminx · 05/04/2011 09:54

I guess ib the interest if neighbourly relations a collar and bell would be a good idea.

Our cat came home with a pink sparkly collar and name tag saying "fluffy".... His name is Rafa and we've had him since he was 8 weeks old Hmm

we have tried collars with bells etc but he still appear to be trying to wipe out the entire wood pidgeon population.... Although to be fair he eats everything bar the feathers and the beak...bleurgh