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AIBU?

To not want other people to put pictures of me and my family on Facebook...

52 replies

Asinine · 04/04/2011 13:31

...when they know that I don't want to join facebook? My sister knows that my dd isn't on Facebook as she is not old enough and I think it is not a great use of a person's time, besides all the child safety issues. In fact my dd is not even sure she wants to be on it when she is old enough.

Despite knowing that, my sister shows my dd various people's pages or walls whenever we meet. I find this irritating as it feels like she is undermining our parenting. Last time we saw her she had put lots of pics of my children up with comments of who we were and where we were. I was supposed to look at these and be impressed that people I'd never heard of had commented on these pictures.

Now I'd love to see her photos normally but feel uneasy about her putting them in cyberspace. I didn't say anything but want to say something next time it happens.

I know I am being protective but it seems that everyone has to be on Facebook whether you like it or not because even if you don't join people can see you on there.

So AIBU or was I just born in the wrong century?

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manfromCUK · 04/04/2011 14:46

I don't get the line of argument about "what are you afraid of/bothered about" etc. Why should there be a a requirement to state in full what terrible things might happen (presumably so they can be shot down). What if I (and OP) just prefer to be private - just as a preference - doesn't that count for anything?

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Asinine · 04/04/2011 14:51

Manfrom I think privacy may be going out of fashion.

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Parmallama · 04/04/2011 14:53

I am sooo with you on this one.

Was not best pleased to have a friend of a friend post pictures of our wedding all over her facebook page, when we'd politely asked her not to (before the wedding) and she had agreed.

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Parmallama · 04/04/2011 14:54

Privacy and discretion have definately gone out of fashion.

Some people on FB seem to think they are mini celebrities and that everyone wants to know every detail fo their lives.

They don't!

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Cymar · 04/04/2011 14:59

Unfortunately if your sister takes her own pictures, she can put them on FB or do what she wants with them without your permission.

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ENormaSnob · 04/04/2011 15:05

Yanbu

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CurrySpice · 04/04/2011 15:09

I think if you're referring to the Human Rights Act, then you might be getting it a TEENY bit out of proportion OP. She is showing photos to her friends - like we all used to do when we had prints back from the chemist.

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feistychickfightingthebull · 04/04/2011 15:17

I am with you there OP, I certainly do not like people putting pics of my family up on FB

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TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 04/04/2011 15:19

Get over yourself.

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Snobear4000 · 04/04/2011 15:32

Who gives a shit?

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Asinine · 04/04/2011 15:49

Sno bear -about 50% of people according to this thread. I take it you don't

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Cymar · 04/04/2011 16:02

BTW OP, I'm all for privacy WRT any kids, but that's not going to stop some dodgy character taking photos of public places with kids in the background.

Sometimes we have to accept some things are beyond our control, although, we also have to accept that not every person with a camera is dodgy.

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Asinine · 04/04/2011 16:23

I'm more bothered about the principle of privacy than about stalkers or paedophiles. There are as many strange people online as there are in any community and in any case most abuse happens from close family and friends, in real life not on line. I'm not particularly paranoid about that sort of thing, and I let my kids have a lot of freedom in real life.
I know lots of people, including most of my friends enjoy Facebook, but it's something I don't want to do. Like I don't like spas, or pamper days, but i know that is strange to some people. So I don't want to be put on it without my knowledge and then be expected to 'enjoy' looking at the photos, complete with comments from people who are strangers to me. Whilst she is also encouraging my daughter to join Facebook as soon as she can.

The coalition- I am working at getting over myself, but clearly have a long, long way to go, as this post proves. Thanks for reminder, think I will make a "GET OVER YOURSELF" and "WHO GIVES A SHIT" poster for the fridge

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usualsuspect · 04/04/2011 16:30

I wouldn't imagine many people are really interested in looking at the photos of you and your family on fb ...fb photos are the equivalent of looking at someones boring holiday snaps

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carat · 04/04/2011 16:31

YANBU. Kindly ask her to remove them. Have asked this in the past and people have been very apologetic. If she says no, I would go out of your way to post very embarassing shots of her and see how she likes having her privacy paraded without consent.

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bibbitybobbityhat · 04/04/2011 16:33

We have had this thread several times in the past couple of years.

It clearly bothers a number of people, mainly simply in terms of privacy, and to shout them down with a "get over yourself" or "who gives a shit" is pretty tragic, ime.

How hard is it to accept that some people don't like it, don't like facebook, don't do things your way?

I mean really - how hard? Only hard for those with no imagination, no empathy and not much in the way of grey matter.

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Asinine · 04/04/2011 16:35

Usual suspect - I couldn't agree more, that is also why I don't want to be part of it. I don't show people my photos in real life unless they ask to see them, as I know that it can be very dull for the other person.

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usualsuspect · 04/04/2011 16:37

I have a cousin who posts 100s of photos of her every move

boring as fuck

I hid her

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Asinine · 04/04/2011 16:40

Bibbity -Apologies if thread has already been done, I'm still fairly new here, so must have missed it last time. Don't worry I wasn't expecting any sympathy on AIBU

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Asinine · 04/04/2011 16:42

Usual suspect, maybe you're my cousin, then my sister is your cousin too? Does she also post home improvements?

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doublechocchip · 04/04/2011 16:45

yanbu especially if you are not on fb.

If I have photos of my friends childrens I only upload the ones whose parents are on fb. I dont think its fair to put pics up of peoples children if they are not on fb themselves.

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usualsuspect · 04/04/2011 16:48

Asinine ..no to home improvements ..but the final straw was the 20 odd photos of her mothers day cards and flowers

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Asinine · 04/04/2011 16:52

Usual- all whole load of people are saying "they're talking about me!"
Actually I don't know if sister is on mn but if she is she might be wondering...

Ps How do you cook and mnet at the same time?

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usualsuspect · 04/04/2011 17:06

I often wonder if my sister is on here ....

anyway burnt dinners and mnet go hand in hand

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NessyBay · 04/04/2011 20:16

I goodled my name recently and pic of my DD that I had as a profile pic YEARS ago came up. It freaked me out - I even had everything set on the tighest privacy settings (eg, couldn't add me as a firend, wasn't searchable etc) What ever you put on FB it is online for ever.

I deactived.

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