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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little fed up about maternity leave?

106 replies

georgie22 · 04/04/2011 11:44

I am not fed up per se as I have had fairly good maternity pay to 6 months and am now going on to SMP for 3 months. What does irritate me is that as working women we get nothing after 9 months - our mortgage, council tax etc. doesn't stop to account for a loss of one income within the household. I have been in the fortunate position to be able to plan for this but it does irritate me that some feckless individuals produce children and then have all their housing costs etc. paid for. It's just another example of how flawed the system is. Then when we return to work we have all the worries regarding childcare and juggling home and work life.

Are my current feelings justified or do I just have more time to dwell on things now? For what it's worth I would hate to be on benefits as I like earning my own money.

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 04/04/2011 11:46

YABU Your current feelings are not justified. You're lucky to be in paid employment and, although it'll be a little tight financially for a while, you've presumably had time and opportunity to save up and give your new baby a good start in life. The 'feckless individuals' you're so contemptuous of will be living on next to nothing their whole lives.... they're really not to be envied.

Have a Biscuit and wait for less kind flamers than me to come along....

NinkyNonker · 04/04/2011 11:47

Because you work you canm take care of your owm, so tabu I'm afraid.

skaen · 04/04/2011 11:48

YABU. If people can't afford to cover their bills they have to go back to work earlier. And what Chil said.

TheVisitor · 04/04/2011 11:49

You get 9 months paid for being at home. Go back to work after then. Suck it up, and yes, you are being wholly unreasonable.

Reality · 04/04/2011 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bonkerz · 04/04/2011 11:53

YABU, i think you have a brill deal. I am due back to work in September....baby due May 15th.....cant afford to have more time off than that! Have to go back to work to pay the mortgage and bills! Think yourself lucky and appreciate what you have!

AuntiePickleBottom · 04/04/2011 11:53

Maternity leave for me was an eye opener on my income, and i realised how much money i was wasting every month .

once i went back to work i then put £100 per month in saving for hoildays ect.

also what chil said

Reality · 04/04/2011 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icelollycraving · 04/04/2011 11:53

Yabu to a point. You should count yr blessings that you had such generous mat leave & have a job. I know that it is frustrating to pay ' into the system' when some people take advantage but that is life. Plenty of people on benefits have no option & the problem is that childcare is wildly expensive so can be prohibitive in giving up benefits etc to return to work.No one held a gun to yr head to have a baby & so you need to suck it up I'm afraid!

AlpinePony · 04/04/2011 11:53

YANBU.

The system is flawed.

If you have no money then as you say, you get it all paid for.
If you are wealthy or married to a wealthy man then SMP is just coffee morning petty cash.

Those stuck in the middle are fucked over.

Original poster
georgie22 · 04/04/2011 12:00

I guessed I'd get those responses. I firmly believe that the benefits system should be there to support people who find themselves unemployed or are unable to work due to illness or disability but I will always object to generations of families who have an entitlement culture and choose never to work. And that's a growing number of people which successive governments seem to fail to address.

Ho hum - off to carry on enjoying my maternity leave!!

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 04/04/2011 12:02

If you think your life would be better on benefits then by all means go right ahead!

happynappies · 04/04/2011 12:05

What I think is wrong is that the government incentivise returning to work with working tax credit and subsidised nursery care. I work part-time but share childcare with my husband, don't qualify for working tax credit, and our income has halved since I went part-time. Our choice yes, but you'd think that there would be some sort of universal childcare element that could be paid to parents irrespective of whether they used nursery care or stayed at home. I guess whatever your circumstances you'll always feel it isn't fair!

Original poster
georgie22 · 04/04/2011 12:05

I do honestly know how lucky I am and my complaint was not for me personally but for all working mothers who are forced to miss those precious early months of their child's life due to financial constraints.
AuntiePickleBottom - I've wondered what I previously spent my money on too! It's quite enlightening!

OP posts:
Hammy02 · 04/04/2011 12:07

Its the same flaw throughout the whole hand-out system. Once you've paid off your mortgage at say 50 years old, 20 years later, chances are you'll need to go into a care home, have to sell your home to pay for it while those that have nowt will have it all paid for! Bonkers.

pommedeterre · 04/04/2011 12:08

6 months paid is an awesome deal!
It might be nice to have more paid mat leave of course but at the cost of what? Hospitals? Schools? Police? Would be a little way down my wish list if I were PM.

pommedeterre · 04/04/2011 12:09

Are you really asking if SAHMs should be paid a wage by the government?

Bonkerz · 04/04/2011 12:09

Georgie, I dont feel forced and like im going to miss all those special moments instead i feel like me going back to work when DS to be is 16 weeks old will be a massive positive. I will be able to keep a roof over his head and give him the things i didnt have as a child (my mum was a single mum), my children will grow up watching me work and knowing how much i do for them and i hope this work ethic is passed onto them. It is very much MY choice though. Im sure if we changed our lifestyle we could save some money and i could have longer off but i dont want a new baby to impact anymore than it has to on my other 2 children.

Eglu · 04/04/2011 12:10

YABU, because you can go back to work and start earning again.

Original poster
georgie22 · 04/04/2011 12:10

RitaMorgan - I'll decline on that offer, thanks! Never claimed and hopefully never will.

I have a sil who hasn't worked in 14 years and lives on benefits - she spends far more on gadgets, alcohol and socialising than we ever will! Guess she hasn't had to worry about the deadline for her ISA!

OP posts:
darleneconnor · 04/04/2011 12:15

Stop reading the DM.

Original poster
georgie22 · 04/04/2011 12:18

pommedeterre - no definitely not. I certainly don't think the government should pay SAHMs a wage.

I'm actually very happy to be going back to work (hopefully part time) to a job that I enjoy and have worked hard to achieve. I'm hoping my husband and I will have the ideal balance with child care.

I'm not at all bitter, just commenting on how unfair things are, like AlpinePony, happynappies and Hammy02 have also pointed out.

OP posts:
Original poster
georgie22 · 04/04/2011 12:20

And I don't read the DM!! Apart from online occasionally for comedy value!

OP posts:
RhiRhi123 · 04/04/2011 12:32

I have to say i agree with you Georgie. I do think that a lot of people do need to be on benefits as would i if i wasn't with my DH it's all the rest that don't work get to spend all the time they can with their children and still have all the latest gadgets and things when i certainly can't afford them through my partner and myself working full time. I'm going on maternity leave next week and will obviously feel the pinch however if i go back to work full time it will only cover childcare and give me about £20 a week. Which i don't think is worth missing out on time with my baby for. However because my DH earns over the threshold we aren't entitled to anything we just manage to keep our heads above water. Rock and a hard place springs to mind!

bubblecoral · 04/04/2011 12:54

YANBU

People that can't afford to pay to house children and feed them without benefits, shouldn't be having children. And if they do, they should have help with childcare costs so that they can work, and nothing else.