Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cold, objective comments required please

54 replies

littlepigshavebigears · 04/04/2011 11:42

OK - just cold, automatic responses please (as my feelings are not objective)

How would you interpret this

A man in his late forties/early fifties is a social worker who works with EBD children in a residential school. He also runs gymnastics clubs and is involved with archery clubs and various children's groups.

he wants to adopt a child and is frequently looking at "be my parent" type publications and talking about particular children he is considering

he has no relationships with women although he does want them and does express attraction for women sometimes

he has a 7yo goddaughter who visits him on her own a lot and spends a lot of time alone with him in his house

on several occasions he takes his top off and asks his goddaughter to scratch his back while they watch videos he has rented for her

one one occasion his goddaughter has a tantrum and throws his TV remote across the room - she doesn't remember what happens next, her next memory is of lying on his tummy on the sofa with his arms around her

he coaches a gymnastic team and once describes how one of his star gymnasts told him she was pregnant - he pinned her up against the wall because he was so angry

impressions? please? is it nothing?

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 04/04/2011 11:43

Odd.

What's EBD?

Original poster
littlepigshavebigears · 04/04/2011 11:45

emotionally and behaviourally disturbed

odd? could you elaborate?

OP posts:
MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 04/04/2011 11:45

automatic response......

where are you getting this information from? is it a trusted source?

Lucyinthepie · 04/04/2011 11:45

Emotionally Behaviourally Disturbed?
Anyway, I would be very uncomfortable to hear about this and would probably call NSPCC for advice.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 04/04/2011 11:45

Very odd.
The fact that he is unmarried is irrelevant IMO, his temper isn't the remote and pregnant girl bits.
How do you know all this about his god daughter?

Changing2011 · 04/04/2011 11:45

I honestly have no idea. Men arent weird because they havent found a partner yet by the way.

LilQueenie · 04/04/2011 11:45

well after the pinning against the wall incident he should not be allowed to work with kids.

MissMontoya · 04/04/2011 11:45

You could select random facts from almost any person's life and make them sound like a paedo.

pgpg · 04/04/2011 11:46

How do you know these things? Has the god daughter spoken to you about him?

Original poster
littlepigshavebigears · 04/04/2011 11:46

I'm the goddaughter

they are the facts I know

sorry, I wanted purely objective reactions so I posted in this way - but as it is worrying people, I should tell you I am the goddaughter

OP posts:
ElsieR · 04/04/2011 11:47

Emotional behaviour difficulties.
Does not sound healthy to me.

Onetoomanycornettos · 04/04/2011 11:47

The way you are telling it sounds odd, I'm not sure what you would like us to say. By odd, I mean the whole tale sounds odd, whether he is odd I can't tell from what you have told us.

Supermoo · 04/04/2011 11:48

Hmmm, does sound strange, where did you get the info though? Apart from the back scratching stuff, wouldn't raise any eyebrows if it was a woman who you were describing. But the back scratching is a bit of a worry.

3isthemagicnumber · 04/04/2011 11:48

So i take it you are the goddaughter and now the memories feel 'wrong'
Do you have somebody else who you can talk to ?
Hope someone on here can help, as I have no answers but didnt want to ignore.

HampstersDontSwim · 04/04/2011 11:48

Is is an agressive man and needs to controll himself if he wants to be around children.

I would hope that the people who decide about adoption know about these incedents that you describe as they do seem relivent to their desision making.

MissMontoya · 04/04/2011 11:49

Do you think you were abused?@OP

If you feel something isnt right, then it is worth taking that further.

squeakytoy · 04/04/2011 11:49

I am assuming you are not 7 years old?

Nospringflower · 04/04/2011 11:50

The behavour with his goddaughter sounds inappropriate and, depending what happened that the goddaughter doesnt remember, possibly involving abuse. The behaviour towards the pregnant girl sounds abusive. The fact that he is a Social Worker would mean that he should be very aware of potential allegations.

RelaxTheCacks · 04/04/2011 11:50

"he pinned her up against the wall because he was so angry" That alone would ring alarm bells for me Shock

ZillionChocolate · 04/04/2011 11:50

You're 7??

HampstersDontSwim · 04/04/2011 11:51

The back scratching on its own dose not seem odd to me if the goddaughter did not feel uneasy with it.
DD (3) scratches DHs back and I'm not bothered by it.

Oakmaiden · 04/04/2011 11:51

It could be odd, but it might not be. Certainly needs to calm his temper down - although actually I guess throwing a remote (presumably not AT someone) isn't a huge deal. Pinning the gymnast against the wall is though - but as I say, only from an anger management side.

Everything else might simply be a man who desperately regrets never having had the chance to have children and who has strong paternal feelings.

Nospringflower · 04/04/2011 11:52

Oh, have now read you were the goddaughter which is what I suspected. Can you remember what the videos were?

charmum3 · 04/04/2011 11:52

if your worried make a phone call nspcc banardos social services even the police, you don't want it to turn into !i wished i had made that call!xxx

Original poster
littlepigshavebigears · 04/04/2011 11:53

god no I am 34

sorry, I have fucked this up

I have these memories I feel very uneasy about

my godfather later lost his job because of allegations made by girls in his care

I think he was grooming me and I think my mother knew Sad

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread