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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know IABU but just need to vent...

89 replies

Randomer1 · 04/04/2011 09:27

Have name changed for this as I fully expect to be flamed as an ungrateful cow. I know that plenty of mums get sweet FA for mothers day and I should probably be glad for what I have but I am not impressed with DH right now.

In the run up to mothers day he asked what I wanted and I pointed out a necklace to him that I liked, it's not expensive, about £20. Come yesterday morning I find my present sitting and its a cheapo teddy bear. I was told that this was bought because someone had come round his work selling them and he couldn't remember which specific necklace I had pointed out and he wasn't that keen on the ones I liked anyway Confused. I was pretty pissed off to be honest that he didn't seem to think I was worth a trip to the shops especially since the shops are right near his work and he could have gone at lunchtime or straight after work.

On top of this he has done nothing to make the day special, no breakfast made for me, did not offer to get up early with the baby, sat and watched me do all the housework. This is my first mothers day as a mum and I was looking forward to being spoilt a bit. I had a pretty horrendous labour and delivery a few months ago and now feel like he doesn't give a shit about anything I went through. So AIBU to feel Sad that he has ruined my first mothers day with his inconsiderateness?

OP posts:
marmaladetwatkins · 04/04/2011 14:22

It was fujl that threw me. It sounds Scandinavian.

Filofax · 04/04/2011 14:24

I thought it was some sort of tasteful range I had missed advertised in the sunday supplements.

LizaTarbucksAuntie · 04/04/2011 15:04

Totally agree with kewcumber there, it would have been a much more positive way to spend the day.

I'm really amazed by the whole I had a horrid birth experience therefore I deserve a wonderful mothers day present and I'm usually really sympathetic. It would never have occured to me to put those two things together.

I also love Mothering Sunday - we make a big deal about it in our family but it's about our traditions and family time and the start of Summer rather than specifically a time for DP to buy me a gift on behalf of littlemad.

CurrySpice · 04/04/2011 15:57

I don't get why people say "I don't hold much with mothers day so I think you are being unreasonable to be upset"

It matters not one jot what any of US want or expect or need on mothers day to the OP. It only matters what the OP wants and needs

Quite clearly she is a new mom, who would have appreaciated her DP giving her ONE DAY of being appreciated for the mothering she does of his child. Not a lot to ask is it? I'm sure even a special hug and a heartfelt thank you to her for everything she does for their DD would have sufficed.

It's the thougghtlessness and the inability to give a flying fuck about doing a small thing to make his wife happy that gets on my last one

CurrySpice · 04/04/2011 15:59

Just to add that I lived for many years with a man who took the attitude that if something didn't bother worry / upset / please him, then he could not imagine why it should worry / upset / please anyone else.

So that attitude cuts no ice with me now

dontcallmepeanut · 04/04/2011 16:05

Threads like these really piss me off...

You know, some of us, (eg single parents of DC too young to buy a present) get nothing for Mother's Day. You should be grateful that he put in any kind of effort.

CurrySpice · 04/04/2011 17:32

Again, just because you didn't get anything (and I'm sorry you didn't, it's shit being a SP when these things come around I know) why should the OP be happy to get nothing too.

By the same logic none of us should be allowed to moan about our OHs because some people are single

dontcallmepeanut · 04/04/2011 17:49

Not at all. I'm not saying she should be happy to get nothing. But bloody hell. Ok, he screwed up. But he got OP something. He put effort in. The sentiment was there...

BluddyMoFo · 04/04/2011 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurrySpice · 04/04/2011 18:05

Not quite. He went and deliberately DIDN'T get her the present she wanted and deliberatly got her something she DIDN'T want. Then let her carry on with all her chores while he arsed about

I'm not sure what charming sentiment there is buried in these actions that the OP should be so grateful for TBH.

CurrySpice · 04/04/2011 18:06

Hello mofo btw :o

Randomer1 · 04/04/2011 18:40

BluddyMoFo Grin at "having a tantrum" I thought I had been quite restrained, if that's what a tantrum looks like then I guess I don't have much to worry about when DD gets to that stage!

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 05/04/2011 08:13

Curryspice,

You sound about 3 years old. You seem to confuse "want" with "need" like a 3 year old who desperately "needs" a new toy. If the qualification for being a good husband is to have to give your wife everything that she asks for exactly when she asks for it because it is "responding to her needs", count me out of that kind of needy relationship. It must be soul destroying.

Cymar · 05/04/2011 11:19

Is Mothers/Fathers Day the ONLY day where kids are allowed/forced to appreciate what parents do for them and parents have the RIGHT to make demands or expect something that they WANT because it's THAT particular day?

Does that mean that children have the RIGHT to be moody, insulent buggers the rest of the year (as mine are a lot of the time) Wink?

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