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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To mention to DDs teacher that a classmate appears to have hygiene issues

115 replies

Crazybit · 03/04/2011 13:04

or shall I mind my own business?

DD1 is in year 6 and is always mentioning that a girl in her glass stinks. I feel really sorry for the girl. Her mum doesn't seem the type of person I could approach so would it be really wrong to mention it to DDs teacher and perhaps suggest a little chat with the whole class about the importance of person hygiene? I also wonder if the girl has an infection of some type as DD says she smells of fish and her knickers are often black from urine, I assumed meaning she hasn't wiped after going to the loo.

Or should I keep stum and tell DD to stop being so horrible and keep her mouth shut about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Crazybit · 04/04/2011 08:57

Well, I had a word with the teacher, felt very guilty, but she said thanks and that she hadn't picked up on it and she'd look into it.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 04/04/2011 09:02

Well done, crazy :)

LunaticIsOnTheGrass · 04/04/2011 09:14

I was the smelly kid at school Sad

My Mum died when I was 9 & my Dad really had no idea how to look after kids.
I never had clean clothes & very rarely even got to have a bath. My hair was all matted underneath & I always had nits.

I was bullied horribly for it, but no adult ever got involved - nobody asked if I was ok or talked to my Dad or did anything about it.

I'm really glad you have spoken to the teacher OP Smile & I'm especially glad because the teacher said she hadn't picked up on it.

Hopefully this child will get help now & won't go through what I did.

BuntyPenfold · 04/04/2011 09:19

(hugs Lunatic)

Original poster
Crazybit · 04/04/2011 09:20

Aw Lunatic :( Sorry you went through that.

I didn't want to confuse the issue yesterday and mention it...but after speaking to DD last night and clarifying...the 'aunt' did not discuss it with the girls but did say 'oh does she?' and turned her nose up when her own daughter mentioned that the girl 'really smelt today'. Also, I forgot but DD had mentioned months ago after going round to the girls house that the house was a bit, cluttered and that the mum doesn't clean up, but smokes pot all day. She said the bedrooms where so cluttered that the boys didn't have a bedroom (aged 12 and 4 I think) and that they slept in their mums bed with her. The kids always look relatively clean and tidy so I don't think it's a case of wilful neglect, maybe she just needs a bit of help..

OP posts:
JoBettany · 04/04/2011 09:20

Crazybit as I posted upthread I think you have done the right thing. It can't have been easy but it may help.

chimchar · 04/04/2011 09:32

well done crazy.

i too work in a school, and would welcome any information like this from a parent...if we already know, then no harm done and we would discuss the fact that the problem is possibly not being dealt with at home, or if we didn't know, we would have a starting block to look into how we were going to approach it.

i can't believe how many people have had a go at you....totally stupid. you have written on here in a sensitive and caring way crazy...you did the right thing.

Skinit · 04/04/2011 09:38

Ah Lunatic....how awful for you..I hope you're ok now.

[hug]

Skinit · 04/04/2011 09:41

At my school there was a girl who was so negected and sad...all the kids picked on her....my friend and I went to the HT to tell her we felt bad for her ..we were about 13. THe HT listened as we described the girls bruises (all over her body) and then did nothing. I know she did nothing because nothing changed for this girl.

OP you should definately speak for this child.

seeker · 04/04/2011 09:49

Of COURSE talk to the teacher. Why wouldn't you?

I'm sure you''ve already talked to your dd about the reasons this girl might be finsing things difficult - and how she absolutely mustn;t talk about it to her friends because that would be unkind, but talk to the school today!

booandbump · 04/04/2011 09:53

Well done OP, I would have done exactly the same. I cannot understand all the people who are calling you a busybody Confused

I hope the girl gets whatever help/support she needs.

prettyfly1 · 04/04/2011 10:00

Absolutely talk to the teacher. I was another one who was left to be a bit neglected and not encouraged to take proper care of herself and was bullied horribly for it - mortifying. It does sound like the cousin and her mum are a bit bitchy to be frank, but you certainly dont, so perhaps by mentioning you are concerned that this girl is being bullied and this is the reason behind it you can help her.

Niecie · 04/04/2011 10:17

Well done Crazybit. I hope the teacher does something useful with the information.

LunaticIsOnTheGrass · 04/04/2011 10:25

I'm fine now, thanks everyone Smile

My stepmum moved in with my Dad when I was 12 & fortunately she did know how to look after a family & I was ok after that pretty much but those 3 yrs were horrible.

Well done OP, you definitely did the right thing.

thecranberiezzzz · 02/09/2023 23:11

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