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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that dh hasn't got me any flowers for mothering sunday.

103 replies

Northernlurker · 02/04/2011 21:02

The dcs have got me something I know but dh usually gets flowers too. Has just revealed that he hasn't 'got round to it' today and I won't mind will I? Well yes actually I bloody do mind!

Three episiotomys, 124 weeks of pregnancy, countless vomiting from morning sickness, knackered ligaments, heartburn, exhaustion, poverty - working for YEARS as part time, always being locally based and doing the school/nursery run, enduring drama performances, talking to other mothers even when they are insane/ competitive/dull, keeping the present bag stocked up, buying nice clothes, buying shoes again and again and again, taking them to the dentist and for jabs and I don't even get any flowers?

Totally and utterly pissed off.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Bluemoonrising · 02/04/2011 22:23

Wot cymar said.

I don't give a hoot for any manufactured appreciation day. 'Cobblers' is a nicer way of saying it than I would have!

It's about tat and consumerism. I am surprised that so many adult people still put such a strong emphasis on it, and get all needy and wanty because it is 'their day'.

I'm a mother every day, and I get positive feedback from my kids on most of those. Those are the moments that are special, the ones that are on impulse and genuinely from the heart. I don't need or want an ostentatious display out of obligation.

PrincessScrumpy · 02/04/2011 22:27

I bought my mum flowers - ordered them yesterday and picked them up today with dh and dd in tow. DH and I had a row (very rare but I'm pg and he has a cold). I stropped off upstairs and dh took dd to the supermarket and came home with flowers. He said he planned to get them anyway but they were also an apology for being grumpy.

I don't expect flowers on Mother's Day but I do expect a card and small gift - plus breakfast in bed etc. I won't get the breakfast this time as I had a lie in today and so I'll get up with dd, but dh is driving us to the city to go clothes shopping for me then to mum and dad's for dinner.

DH's mum was most upset two years ago that dh only sent a card and no money. He'd always put £10 in in the past but we couldn't afford it and prefer to take flowers when we visit instead.

Original poster
Northernlurker · 02/04/2011 22:27

I want an ostentatious display out of obligation or I will be selling the dcs and the dh on ebay!

OP posts:
thorahird · 02/04/2011 22:27

my dd is 1 years old my dh went to town today to get his haircut and was going to get me a card and little pressie for mums day i was also in town and it was bloody hell on earth it looked like the entire population was out and in a frenzy of buy buy buy i text dh to say forget the commercial bloody guilt trip bollocks and avoid the mayhem i dont need you to buy me a card and some pissing wilting overpriced flowers to validate me being a mum im truly blessed every day with my little miracle dd and thats all i bloody need,chill out mrs and count yer blessings you dont need a bunch of bloody flowers just look at what you,ve already got Smile

Bluemoonrising · 02/04/2011 22:33

QUOTE:Northernlurker
"I want an ostentatious display out of obligation or I will be selling the dcs and the dh on ebay!"

Maybe best not tell them that, they might just take you up on the offer!

Original poster
Northernlurker · 02/04/2011 22:37

Oh good grief bluemoon - shall I try and get you a sense of humour whilst I'm about it? Tell me you didn't think that was even 1/2 way serious? Hmm

OP posts:
Kendodd · 02/04/2011 22:37

Its a load of commercialized nonsense anyway.

You sound like my mum, we all have to go bowing down to her on mothers day, birthdays, in fact everyday, otherwise I have hell to pay if I don't show her how grateful I am for the sacrifices she made and hardship she endured.

She's a crap mum as well.

COCKadoodledooo · 02/04/2011 22:41

I'm with BluddyMoFo. Get over yourself. You feeling happier because you sent him out to buy you flowers? I can't think of much more pathetic tbh.

Bluemoonrising · 02/04/2011 22:41

Wow, touched a nerve did I?

I'm surprised at your response - I think it's fairly obvious that I don't honestly think they would want to be sold on ebay.

Did I not include enough smileys?

Original poster
Northernlurker · 02/04/2011 22:43

No I demand at least 15 smileys with every point made!

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 02/04/2011 22:44

This is a ridiculous thread. NL, you could have predicted people would take you seriously, you're a very silly girl.

Don't ebay your children, I can't afford to bid for them all and couldn't possibly choose, they're all scrumptious Grin

Bluemoonrising · 02/04/2011 22:45

Ooops! I'll try and do better next time!

OliPolly · 02/04/2011 22:49

Divorce him!

Original poster
Northernlurker · 02/04/2011 22:49

I'll do you 3 for 2 LTJ. Can't say fairer than that.

OP posts:
theotherboleyngirl · 02/04/2011 22:51

Actually I'm with you NL - however tongue in cheek

You parent in partnership with your DH. Therefore although you are not his mother, your mothering of the children you have had jointly, I'm guessing makes his life (and his children's life) all that bit more easy and fun and pleasant. Your mothering of HIS children makes their childhood good, happy, secure, whatever... you're a unit, a family, and mother's day is a pretty good day for showing the thanks for one key member of that.

Appreciation for your role of mothering I do think is important. And Mother's Day is a pretty good day to show it. Especially whilst children are young, certainly still dependant, and require an awful lot of thankless tasks day in day out (no matter how much you love motherhood and your darling spawn and all plays they are in, vomit included).

So yes tomorrow DH will be thanking me for mothering his children (I expect) in the same way on each of their birthdays he buys me flowers and writes a little thank you note to me to show he hasn't forgotten all I went through to bring them in to the world (yup it was tough). Is he my mother? most certainly not! do these acts of appreciation make our marriage and family life better? absolutely.

theotherboleyngirl · 02/04/2011 22:53

or even "am I his mother?" !!!!!!!

Original poster
Northernlurker · 02/04/2011 22:54

Nice post theotherboleyngirl Smile

Shall I mention my episiotomys again? There was tearing too you know.....

OP posts:
weedle · 02/04/2011 22:55

Perhaps he's being thrifty - you'll get a helluva bunch if he shops tomorrow at 4.55!

angel1976 · 02/04/2011 22:57

Does a prolapse beat an episiotomy? Grin

lockets · 02/04/2011 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hardhatdonned · 02/04/2011 22:59

No because a prolapse AND an episiotomy beat the pair of you in a weird kinda wish i'd not won this round kinda top trumps way

angel1976 · 02/04/2011 22:59

Grin You win...

midlandsmumof4 · 02/04/2011 23:00

YABVU..as has been said before..I would hope I've been a good mum. I don't need my sons to send me expensive cards & gifts on Sunday. Every kiss,hug & thank you over the year from them means far more than an overpriced card and a bunch of flowers will ever......

hardhatdonned · 02/04/2011 23:00

And i get funny looks from people when i say that a C Section really is the preferable way to get a baby out of a woman :o

Original poster
Northernlurker · 02/04/2011 23:03

I had a pph as well.....I know that's not up there with the prolapse but come on it must give me some credit?

This thread has oddly enough reminded me of the midwife who said after dd3 arrived 'Now you'll need to do your pelvic floor exercises you know now you've had three children. You can get away with it with two but not three' AIBU to have wanted to yell 'Why didn't somebody tell me that before?' Grin

OP posts: