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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in letting my child play in the park

86 replies

Orangeflower7 · 02/04/2011 15:52

It is a big children's park, you can't see from one end to the other. It is a children's park, fenced, and has play ranger types employed by the council in holidays. Also a bouncy castle and roundabout with a small charge. People come from quite a way to use it.

My ds is 6. I also have a toddler, so when we go i tell the older one if ge loses wight of me to meet him back at the meeting point (near the water fountain). He was ok with that.

So, one day I slowly walked up with the toddler to the zipwire thing, where older ds was waiting with a 'concerned dad' "He wasn't sure where his mum is!" says the dad, all concerned...

Is this normal? Isn't it okay for him to be playing or should i be watching him the whole time? That would be impossible with my toddler too.

In honesty, looking for some advice. Am from a small Scottish island where we just used to run wild as kids, now live in the south of England.

An unsure about whether to go back again, which is a shame as it is a great park.

OP posts:

theotherboleyngirl · 02/04/2011 22:23

I'm actually slightly taken aback by some of the responses on here. I really thought what I do is normal but now I'm worrying I'm too laissez-faire!

I think what you do is fine OP. I don't know how I would manage when in a playground with my 3 if my eldest (not yet 5) wasn't allowed out of my sight. I'm not of the opinion there are abductors on every corner. DS knows my telephone number by heart and he knows if he gets lost (we're talking on a day trip here not the playground, although the same would apply) to find a mother with children and tell her my number.

I think I possibly go to the farm nikki1978 talks about (or one very similar) and I happily let my DS out of my sight to areas of the playground I can't see. He knows to come back and I check every 10 minutes-ish. If I move to a different area of the playground with his sisters I make sure to find him and tell him first.

I honestly don't know how I could go out in public to places like playgrounds if DS wasn't allowed out of my sight. Seriously, those with several children, how do you actually do it so it's not a stressful nightmare and therefore defeats the point of going???

ivykaty44 · 02/04/2011 22:31

skint - can you let me know what awful things have happened in a park in the Uk in the last 5 year please - feel free to link to any newspaper reports t

COCKadoodledooo · 02/04/2011 22:54

Orange I do the same with my ds1 who is 7. He'd have probably told the man he wasn't to talk to strangers though!

Runoutofideas · 03/04/2011 10:53

theotherboleyngirl - in answer to your question on how you do it with multiple children, I think to a certain extent it depends on the children involved. My 6 year old does not necessarily feel the need to chase off miles away - she's happy to play with whatever's nearest to where we have set up camp and gradually move round to other nearby play things. She doesn't seem to like to stray too far, so maybe that's why I don't find it difficult to keep an eye on her. Her friend on the other hand likes to leg it to the furthest away point at the first opportunity, which gives me palpitations, as I'm just not used to it. My 2 like to play together, which also helps when it comes to knowing where they are.

Also my 6 year old seems quite accident prone - she has hearing problems, which I think may slightly affect her balance. I regularly have to rescue her from having climbed too high and being stuck or falling off tihngs. Last week she managed to wedge her head and shoulders into too tight a space on a metal helicopter, so I just don't feel I can leave her to it to the extent that some people seem happy to.

Mummy2Bookie · 03/04/2011 11:49

YANBU the nanny state is so depressing

Mummy2Bookie · 03/04/2011 11:50

I don't believe that there are pervs on every corner

ensure · 03/04/2011 12:26

I probably wouldn't let a six year old go off alone out of my sight. Two sensible six year olds though, yes.

If your son was alone and fell off the zipwire and broke his arm he might be too upset to remember where you said to meet him. I don't know, I know that's unlikely to happen but that is what I'd be worrying about!

movingsoon · 03/04/2011 14:34

I also read the post and thought that sounds like Victoria Park. I let my two go off 5 and 9 they come park and tell me when they are moving to a different bet of the park. They know not to go out the gate they know where we are and they always tell us where they are playing.

If we don't give are children freedom to experience risk in a controlled way when they first have to they will be griped by fear. Our duty has parents is to gently teach them how the world works and how to live in it. Not every one in the world is bad

Well done you sound like you are doing a good job

NameChange1234 · 03/04/2011 15:13

The father was being interfearing. Fine if your son had been in distress, but he wasn't. YANBU

camdancer · 03/04/2011 15:16

As I read the OP, what happened was they were together. 6 yo wanted to go to the zip wire. Told Mum (who I guess said ok or something) then raced off. Mum followed at toddler pace. When Mum got there 6 yo was waiting patiently in the queue. Dad, possibly waiting with another child in the queue, says "where were you?"

I guess I'm very lax about this sort of thing, but all sounds fine to me. OP was hot on 6yo's heels and would have been there quickly. 6yo, was waiting patiently where he said he would be. Random man, was sensible checking up on what he saw as random alone boy. Is it a really massive park, where the OP was a long time behind the 6yo?

That sort of thing happens at my local park. It is quite spread out, so if I walk at 2yo pace I'm quite far behind my 4yo. He might be out of sight for a minute or so until I catch up with him - especially if 2yo is up a tree or something. Isn't that normal? I make sure I know basically where they both are at all times, but that doesn't mean I can see them both 100% of the time. Freedom in a controlled environment - isn't that the aim?

slugz · 03/04/2011 16:06

Well chuffed to find you're at Victoria Prk since I know it. I would definitely have let any of my children play out of sight there at 6. It's a fab park and I don't think children could really have much fun there if they always had to be trailed by someone with a toddler.

Ideas of taking it in turns on different things while reading books etc with littl'uns are imo completely unnecessary.

Most children are very capable by this age.

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