Should I call DP on this, or am I overreacting?

[Mahraih]

In a nutshell: DS is 7 weeks. DP works, I stay at home and as DS is BF, I don't exactly get out much, but have managed twice (DP looked after DS once).

DP is generally 'good' about coming back after work though he has had dinners/drinks with friends once or twice per week maybe, and is good with nappies. But again, as DS is BF, I am with him most of the time even when DP is at home. DP leaves the house at about 6.30am (he likes to have 'writing' time before work; a personal project) which I am fine with, and often has an afternoon or two at weekends as well.

Tonight, he is going for a drink with a friend. I was expecting him home by 10/10.30pm as he usually is (we didn't clarify this but that is what usually happens) but have just got a text saying:

"A quick heads-up - only just meeting X now in his office. Not my fault but my apologies, back later xxx"

There is something about the tone of this that just makes me want to scream. I feel he should have let me know earlier, or called, or something more than that shitty text. TBH it's probably more about me - DS is going through some sort of phase and apart from going swimming today has been a mardy little thing 90% of the time. I feel like I am very understanding of DP's need to have his own time, especially with his project (I no longer get this sort of time) and he is taking it for granted.

AIBU? I want to tell him off but am not sure what for, and would like him to be here to support me with DS who won't stop crying ... argh.

That sounds really good :)

Just FWIW on the formula issue, if you are finding it helpful and it's working for you, then absolutely don't feel guilty about it. But OTOH if you don't want the baby to have a bottle just yet, that's fine too. It's not the only way he can bond. I used to get DP to give DS a bath every night or every 2-3 nights (they would get in the bath together) and this was their special bonding time, one-on-one, skin to skin, oxytocin bonding etc.

If you choose not to give bottles regularly it doesn't mean you can't give one occasionally if you want to go out too. Or you could just keep outings short for now until he's a bit older :)

One thing I found with XP was he would hold DS but then at the first sniffle he'd hand him back thinking he wanted feeding. I had to really encourage him to try other things to settle him before giving up. But when he did settle him alone he started to grow in confidence.

OP my DD is 8 weeks old now and from personal experience I can tell you that once your DP starts getting involved with the childcare he will enjoy it so much. You might end up having to wrestle the kid off him! My DH was really not keen on having a baby and made it clear that he is not good with babies AT ALL! Now she's here, I swear, he wishes he could lactate! Well done to you both for talking it thru, he obviously cares for you a lot. (first ever post BTW, so nervous!)

great

i am glad you have sorted things out. i am a strong believer that people [yes, even parents] need to have hobbies or passions outside of family, sometimes paid work is a passion but if not then it doesn't matter if it's writing 'unpublishable shite' or training to come 562nd in a local triathlon.

well done your family for finding time for family, and time for parents to be people too.