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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope the old bag feels a bit shamed?

64 replies

redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 01/04/2011 20:47

I was shopping in town today with my DH and DS when we called in to a grocers. DS was crying, mainly through boredom, so DH waited outside with him while I went in to get the fruit and veg. DS was quite loud but not hungry or anything, just a bit fed up and we were going right after that shop.

So I am rushing round with my basket and this old dear says to her husband 'oh shut that child up, it's awful, nobody needs to hear that'. I said to her all fake Smile 'yes he is loud isn't he but we need to eat so I do have to still do the shopping from time to time' The pair of them were instantly friendly to me then and asking how old he was and things like that but I was put out. I know crying is grating but do people seriously think you can just stay inside all day so you don't subject others to it?

I'm glad DS is 4 months now because if I'd heard that a few months ago being a bit more fragile and a bit more hormonal I would probably have been really upset.

OP posts:
sweetgilly · 01/04/2011 20:50

To call an elderley lady an 'old bag' says far more about you than it does about her. I feel so sorry for your children.

Olessaty · 01/04/2011 20:51

I'd have called her an old bag too for saying my four month old should shut up.

orangeeyebrows · 01/04/2011 20:51

screeching kids can get on your baps though

there was one in tesco this afternoon, his/her/its screams went right through me they were so shrill

:(

Olessaty · 01/04/2011 20:52

Reminds me of being on the maternity ward post-birth. My hours old DD was crying in the night and the mum across the way said something like shut that fucking baby up. I'd have called her an old bag too.

compo · 01/04/2011 20:53

Couldn't your dh have cuddled the baby? Or you fed him in a cafe whilst dh did the shopping?

MissJanuary · 01/04/2011 20:54

Yanbu she was an old bag

Flowerpotmummy · 01/04/2011 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 01/04/2011 20:54

You feel sorry for my children because I called someone an 'old bag' on an internet forum in frustration?

Wow.

Well you don't need to feel sorry for my son as he is very much loved and very happy and will be brought up in the very best way I can manage so save it thank you.

OP posts:
Doha · 01/04/2011 20:54

I would have called her something a bit (a lot) stronger than an old bag.
If l was in a strop l would have probably told her to toddle back to her nusing home. Smile

Chunkamatic · 01/04/2011 20:55

That would have upset me too! At least she was obviously a bit aware of this as she did try and be nice to you once confronted - she must not have imagined that one of the parents would be listening when she had her moan!!

Original poster
redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 01/04/2011 20:56

DH should have cuddled him really but he was holding loads of shopping bags as there isn't much room under the pushchair. He didn't need feeding really and it was just a quick dash in there on the way back to the car.

He does cry a lot when I'm shopping. I've ended up at the checkout before holding him and trying to pack. Internet shopping is the way forward!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 01/04/2011 20:57

you will be an old bag one day

Okonomiyaki · 01/04/2011 20:58

YANBU I would have felt sorry for myself too, good on you for making her squirm a bit.

And don't worry, I don't think most of us feel sorry for your son Hmm

vaginiasmonalogue · 01/04/2011 21:00

Ignore the idiots, She is clearly the baggiest of old bags of epic proportions!!!

YANBU!!!!!!

meditrina · 01/04/2011 21:01

She was talking to her husband, you joined in, and they were friendly.

Eavesdropping is always problematic.

amberleaf · 01/04/2011 21:01

Rude intolerant young people do get old......then they turn into old bags

YANBU

lifechanger · 01/04/2011 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

compo · 01/04/2011 21:03

Yes Internet shopping or just one of you go! It's just a stage, it'll pass soon enough

Patchybob · 01/04/2011 21:03

Come on ladies no need to be unkind.

There is nothing worse than people tutting and staring at you when your children cry in the shop. I agree with you redandyellowandpinkandgreen, you could have said a lot worse about her! It is enough to put you off shopping for life. My ds does it often and it is often the oldbags that seem to have forgotten that they had small children once and we all have to eat/get out the house at some point.

pgpg · 01/04/2011 21:03

The OP might be an old bag one day, but hopefully the OP will be a slightly more tolerant old bag than the one who said "oh shut that child up". Her age doesn't have much to do with it. Just because someone is old, doesn't mean you can't consider their behaviour unpleasant. Do you think "oh shut that child up" is a nice thing to say?. Babies cry - I suppose you are less used to it when you are older, but still...

ValiumSoltera · 01/04/2011 21:04

There are so many people like this out there.... it'd make you reel sometimes.

I was paying for some stuff at the scan your own stuff till when my two children decide to have a loud fight. I thought I'd better concentrate on putting in my credit card details and bagging my items though, so as not to hold everybody up.

On the way out, some woman who was up ahead of me deliberately hung back so that she could mutter 'your children are obnoxious' at me. I was gutted. Then to add insult to injury she jumped into her car where her husband was waiting with her kids, minding them while she shopped in peace. They drove home and I walked home. I don't think I ever felt so shit about being a single parent as I did that day. Maybe it was hormonal! Partly.

usualsuspect · 01/04/2011 21:07

crying babies are annoying though

Maggieny · 01/04/2011 21:08

oh my god - really??? what is wrong with most of you people??

Giving this lady a hard time on a chat forum for calling someone who was whinging about her baby and "old bag" - jesus christ - get on with your wholesome, perfect motherhood lives and leave the rest of us to complain about how painful the human race can be!

Blu · 01/04/2011 21:13

The thing is we all live such pressured lives, and it's hard to see things from someone else's pov in the heat of the moment. DS was a tiny baby when he started tohowl to be fed a I was loading the shopping on to the conveyor in a long queue in Tesco - an elderly woman said it was 'terrible to leave a child tocry like that' and I just didn't know what to do - load everything back in trolley and sit on floor on Tesco and breast feed him? I had no idea. Thankfully a woman helped me load my bags so that i could get out as fast as possible.

As you go past the small child stage pother people's cryng / shouting / noisy children DO grate - it's one of the great divides. I found myself wincing in a coffee shop the other day as two toddlers whinged, screeched, yelled and bashed away- and then toddled all round and under my table. But I managed to keep my irritation to myself.

ValiumSoltera · 01/04/2011 21:18

ps just remembered, a grumpy old woman once told me that my children had ruined her cup of coffee Hmm, so I told her that her sour tutting face had ruined mine (well it was true). But usually I don't have an answer ready for about 48 hours!