To hope the old bag feels a bit shamed?

[redandyellowandpinkandgreen]

I was shopping in town today with my DH and DS when we called in to a grocers. DS was crying, mainly through boredom, so DH waited outside with him while I went in to get the fruit and veg. DS was quite loud but not hungry or anything, just a bit fed up and we were going right after that shop.

So I am rushing round with my basket and this old dear says to her husband 'oh shut that child up, it's awful, nobody needs to hear that'. I said to her all fake 'yes he is loud isn't he but we need to eat so I do have to still do the shopping from time to time' The pair of them were instantly friendly to me then and asking how old he was and things like that but I was put out. I know crying is grating but do people seriously think you can just stay inside all day so you don't subject others to it?

I'm glad DS is 4 months now because if I'd heard that a few months ago being a bit more fragile and a bit more hormonal I would probably have been really upset.

YABU to hope the old bag feels shamed - she made a private comment to her DH about something which was getting on her nerves. It was an unkind comment but she went on to be nice so obviously isn't all bad.

Have to say I'd have been upset by it too. If she said it to me when I had PND I would have cried on the spot.

Not always easy to cuddle your baby when you're out shopping and situations like this can be so stressful. I've sometimes felt like crying when out shopping with my 4mo DD recently. People's comments, 'helpful' remarks and 'well-meant parenting tips' can really grate, especially when you're feeling vulnerable. On the other hand, someone offered to help pack my shopping today and another person helped me with my bags on the bus.

I've found that DD is a lot happier facing out in a sling than in a pram whilst shopping btw. Might be worth a try.

Agree about the crying, it gets on my tits and he's my child! I think because he is a cute smiley baby I am used to people cooing at us or being lovely, I haven't had anyone say anything like that yet and I didn't think it happened with little babies because it's not like you can reason with them.

Up to now people have been sympathetic.

I shall never again worry about a stranger grabbing his hands or his little pudgy cheeks as I'd rather have that then be made to feel guilty.

YANBU.

Sadly there seems to be too many judgers and not enough helpers.

In Asda recently I offered to help a mum whose baby was screaming at the checkout. Asked if she wanted me to unload her trolley on to the conveyor belt.

The old dear behind her in the queue leaned forward to advise her to 'watch your bag, she's probably trying to steal your purse'

She was an old bag. There are lots of lovely old people around but this woman's behaviour more than justifies the OP's description.

She does sound like an old bag. She is an adult and spoke horribly about your son whereas he is just a baby and doens't know that crying can be annoying.

or doesn't even.

she made a private comment to her DH about the crying that was getting on her nerves
you didnt say she glared, tutted or made comment to you
you were being unreasonable eavesdropping and then remarking on a private comment which was none of your business

Picking up at school today. Old short lady standing behind me and a few other mums said very loudly, so loud it was designed to be heard by us, "oh for ggodness sakes why do you all have to stand around talking when I really cant see to pick up X"

We were stood right near the back of the pick up area.

Now she was an obnoxious old bag. I could give you more stories of rude old people than nice. I live in retirement central. No fun to be had round here!

YANBU

YANBU - that was a horrid and intolerant thing to say.

And Olessaty, that would have reduced me to tears. People are unbelievably insensitive and awful.

She didn't mean you to hear it so it was not directed at you on a nasty way. Judging much _ have none of you EVER said anything to a friend or partner in jest or not, that wasn't for the person in questions ears.

I wouldn't say something, in a shop, about someone else and regard it as a private conversation.

Obnoxious old bag or old lady in early stages of dementia? Am much more tolerant since Mum got dementia as the first stage seemed to remove her inhibitions about making such comments. Still not nice to hear though.

sounds like my mum! Love her shes brilliant but at the first sign of a child crying shes like oh shut that ruddy thing up! She doesnt mean any offence by it and its only ever to me (although shes deaf and is sometimes louder than she thinks she is). And of course shes all smiles to the mother. I just point to my pregnant belly and say im having one of those you'd best get a bit more tolerant!

i think a select number of the elderly have probably forgotten they had children once and have probably been in the same situation and handled it a lot less well then you did.

Old bag is not a term I particularly like. But I think you probably had just cause this time, OP. She sounds as though she had decidedly bag-like qualities!

YANBU - she was an old bag. I was in a shop today and a toddler was crying in his buggy. An old man next to be starts tutting and says loudly 'We don't need that type of thing!' expecting me to understand. Mother looked mortified. I say 'He's only little, it's just what they do from time to time! No one can help it.' and he looks uncomfy and says 'Oh yes hmm I suppose so'. Rude I thought. Whatever the age.

Well I'm an old bag and mum of a teen but I'm very patient with crying babies, after all we've all been there.
It's stressful enough to be dealing with a crying baby without people tutting around you.
Having said that, she was nice afterwards, so maybe it was just a throwaway remark.

yanbu - crying babies can be grating, but I've never complained and never would - it's not always the parents fault that the baby is crying, nor can we always solve the problem to stop them from crying. I can only assume that the woman has never had children herself.

I am at people caling the OP rude! she was VERY polite. I would have been very hard pushed not to say something.

Rude old bag.

Tonnes of them on here tonight too OP!

You heard something you weren't supposed to! I bet you have made comments to your DH that you would be mortified if anyone heard-I certainly have. When you responded she was perfectly friendly. You reacted well-why spoil it by coming on here and calling her 'an old bag'?

[old bag and proud]

This is just the sort of thing that pisses me right off. How about old bags and anyone else that seems to dislike babies being babies and children being children keeping their miserable snide comments to themselves and learning a bit of tolerance (just like I do when old bags push in the front of queues and stand at zebra crossings talking about the price of Tena Ladies making every car driver stop). I actually find stuff like that endearing despite it being as annoying as hell, and babies have as much right to co-exist in a public place as anybody else.

So no one ever says anything to their DP that they wouldn't want someone to hear-you all censor every word? I don't believe it!