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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that having a child at the same school as their parents teach at is not fair

125 replies

receiverofopiniongiver · 01/04/2011 19:50

on the child, other children or other teachers?

Disadvantages for the child:-
To demonstrate no favourtism the child is not chosen for anything
If the teacher is unpopular then the child gets it
If the child is chosen for anything then they've either got to be tons better than their classmates or it's only due to them 'being teacher's child'.

Disadvantages for other children:-
If any problems with other child can't go to teacher, as going to their parent so not neutral
If do anything (even minor) to upset the child, will feel the wrath of the teacher more

Disadvantages for other teachers:-
If don't pick child - work colleageue gets upset
If do pick child - accused of favortism
If any problems with child - more difficult as accusing colleague

What are the advantages to the school community in having a teacher's child at the same school as they teach?

OP posts:
PonceyMcPonce · 01/04/2011 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stoppinchingthedummy · 01/04/2011 19:53

No yanbu i totally agree - In one of our local schools a teacher teaches her own daughter and she is always in the pictures in the paper even if it isnt anything she has done ,sits on mummy's knee at the class story time ...it is favouritism and to be honest as a parent it would be too hard to teach my own child and not favourite them ...or go totally ott the other way and be hard on them to show your not favouring them .

TrillianAstra · 01/04/2011 19:53

Bollocks to advantages to the school community.

What about the child and the parent?

Would you choose to send the child to a school that was possibly less good and most likely farther away and less convenient to get to, just because their parent taught at the school?

SandStorm · 01/04/2011 19:55

The only times I've encountered children in the same school that mum or dad teach at there have never been any issues. Remember that in small rural communities there is often no other choice - what should they do then?

TheCrackFox · 01/04/2011 19:58

My sister was very badly bullied by a teacher's son - this was back in the 1980's so I don't think bullying was taken at all seriously then.

However, for the life of me I can't work out why the school thought it was a good idea to have a teacher have her child in her class. It was quite a big school.

Themumsnot · 01/04/2011 19:58

There are loads of children of teachers at my DCs' school. It has never been an issue. Teachers are trusted to behave professionally and everybody else is trusted to behave reasonably. Not a problem IME.

Original poster
receiverofopiniongiver · 01/04/2011 19:58

But the logistics of having child at different school to parent - is no more complicated for any other working parent, who drops their child at one destination, and heads off to work elsewhere.

I cannot see any advantage to this arrangement other than convenience for one adult, whilst many disadvantages for the school community.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 01/04/2011 19:59

If the rules are fair, there isn't a problem.
The school I teach at has a large number of staff children there, teachers and support workers, and I can't honestly say that we've had any of the problems that the OP lists. I've taught many of them myself.
If a member of staff abused the relationship, the head would have a word and point out that it was unacceptable.
OP, are you speaking as a member of staff in a school, or as an observer?

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 19:59

Surely it depends on catchment too? I would be happy for DH or myself to be in the same school as our children, makes sense logistically too.

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 20:00

This was very common when I was at primary and senior school...mainly because it was unusual for families to have 2 cars so for simplicity sake a lot of teachers taught at their kid's schools.

I've never known it to cause a problem but then again, I never knew of a child that was put in the same class as their teaching parent.

I must admit, I wouldn't have fancied going to that child's house for tea Blush

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 20:00

The logistics can be more complex as schools tend to start at the same time as each other. 0815 etc, offices tend to start later. Schools were set up that way to facilitate working parents.

Original poster
receiverofopiniongiver · 01/04/2011 20:02

As an observer, its not something I've come across before, but now experiencing it alot at a particular school - and am seeing it happening in all ways, some of the teachers are going out of their way to almost exclude their own child, and others are showing blatant favortism.

The head is not doing anything about it, as he has his own children at the school.

It just seems such a messy set up.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 01/04/2011 20:04

One of my dds best friends is the daughter of her teacher.
Of course it isctricky but the teacher is excellent and manages it well.
The only problem we had was when the girl tried to tell dd that she had to do what she wanted or she would 'tell' and dd would get in trouble. But I have heard lots of similar age girls do that.

Dh was at the school his dad taught at. The only problem there was from his parents expecting him to behavevperfectly so that it did not reflect badly on them. But they are pretty self absorbed across the board tbh

I don't see it as a problem unless the teacher is foolish.

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 20:04

In all schools I've worked at (secondary) no children have been placed in their parent's class.

Lookandlearn · 01/04/2011 20:05

There are lots of teachers at dd's school with children at the school and tbh it speaks volumes if they are sending their children there. I would never have sent dd to the last school I taught full time at. It makes me feel very secure about the school to think that people who teach there are happy with it for their own children. And if they live in catchment then there's not much you can do about it. There is no side stepping the admissions policies for teacher's children either.

oldbatteryhen · 01/04/2011 20:05

Have you got ishoos?

My son was at the same school, and many TAs', midday supervisors' and teachers' children have passed through oever the years
:
Disadvantages for the child:-
To demonstrate no favourtism the child is not chosen for anything
This is rubbish - a teacher's child was head girl last year on merit.

If the teacher is unpopular then the child gets it
'Gets it' how exactly?

If the child is chosen for anything then they've either got to be tons better than their classmates or it's only due to them 'being teacher's child'.
Why? It will be a professional decision made by the child's teacher on merit.

Disadvantages for other children:-
If any problems with other child can't go to teacher, as going to their parent so not neutral
Then go to another teacher......
If do anything (even minor) to upset the child, will feel the wrath of the teacher more
Absolute crap - a teacher is a professional person.

Disadvantages for other teachers:-
If don't pick child - work colleageue gets upset
WHAT???? Seriously deluded thought.
If do pick child - accused of favortism
Again - deluded.
If any problems with child - more difficult as accusing colleague
No, you deal with the child in the same way as any other probelm child - by dialogue with the child's mother (i.e. your colleague) and attempt to put strategies in place to help the child.

What are the advantages to the school community in having a teacher's child at the same school as they teach?
The advantage to the school is irrelevant - the same advantage the child would give to any school they attended!
It is an advantage to the teacher, as they can drop his/her child off in the morning at a reasonable time without having to hire a childminder.

Goodynuff · 01/04/2011 20:06

Around here parents end up teaching their children all the time, as it is rural, and there is only one option for there kids to attend. Everyone manages. You are not allowed to take your child to a school in another town, and you would have to drive 1/2 hour each way to do so.

bubblecoral · 01/04/2011 20:08

If that's what's happening at your school, then I wouldn't have said that the children and the parents being part of the same school is the problem. There must be something else going on.

It can work well, it does at out school where the deputy head has her son. Sometimes he is picked for stuff, sometimes he isn't, but I honestly can't see him being treated differently to any other child. If the staff and parents all have good reason to trust eachother to put the intrests of all the children first, there shouldn't be a problem.

LetThereBeRock · 01/04/2011 20:08

YABU.It generally speaking shouldn't cause any problems,so long as all parties concerned are sensible about it.

A classmate at school was taught by two of her relatives,her father in technical,and by her brother in music,and it didn't seem to cause any issues,because both teachers treated her like any other pupil.

mitochondria · 01/04/2011 20:08

My mum taught me in about year 2. Village primary, she didn't drive, we both walked to school together.

Absolutely no favouritism - I had to call her Mrs Chondria, not Mummy.

I had no friends before she started teaching there, so it wasn't as if that was an issue.

I now teach in a secondary school, we do have teachers' children in the school but it's a lot easier to arrange so that they are not taught by their parents than in a one-form primary.

Groovee · 01/04/2011 20:09

We have a teacher at school with her daughters in the school. She's never taught their year groups and has always been in a different part of the school. It's never been an issue apart from her dd's being friends with my dd, and when ds went to school she taught one of his peers classes and one of the mums always wanted me to get her told about stuff. But that just got ignored from me.

minipen · 01/04/2011 20:10

What about in case of emergency do you think a teacher would react as a parent or teacher, coach crash on a trip , burning building etc

pranma · 01/04/2011 20:11

My children both went to the school I taught at.
Favouritism not a problem-if any 'picking' for things went on we drew lots[only ds in my class dd with my colleagues]
problems/I was once approached by a colleague re ds's bad behaviour and I said that if he would normally approach a parent at work fair enough-otherwise send a letter home in the usual way.The other pupils were never a problem,I had known most since Reception and many knew me as 'Aunty xxx' which they had to unlearn.
At least no one could accuse me of not supporting the school.

LilJMc · 01/04/2011 20:12

I was taught by my mum at primary (tho only when she did supply, that said she became full time infant teacher when I was in the upper end of the school) and all the way through secondary by my dad. Not really any choice as they were village schools. Also they were under threat of closure so would not have looked good if a teacher had chosen to send their own kids elsewhere.

Tbh I don't know any different. Some kids in secondary took the piss but only one kid was ever nasty. I learnt how to separate my parents as mum and dad from mr and mrs mc. And I think they worked hard to not do favouritism etc. Do remember being mortified when my dad taught his tutor group sex education lol!

MrsStudMuffin · 01/04/2011 20:12

"If the teacher is unpopular then the child gets it"

What a ridiculous thing to say.

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