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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that having a child at the same school as their parents teach at is not fair

125 replies

receiverofopiniongiver · 01/04/2011 19:50

on the child, other children or other teachers?

Disadvantages for the child:-
To demonstrate no favourtism the child is not chosen for anything
If the teacher is unpopular then the child gets it
If the child is chosen for anything then they've either got to be tons better than their classmates or it's only due to them 'being teacher's child'.

Disadvantages for other children:-
If any problems with other child can't go to teacher, as going to their parent so not neutral
If do anything (even minor) to upset the child, will feel the wrath of the teacher more

Disadvantages for other teachers:-
If don't pick child - work colleageue gets upset
If do pick child - accused of favortism
If any problems with child - more difficult as accusing colleague

What are the advantages to the school community in having a teacher's child at the same school as they teach?

OP posts:
makemineapinot · 02/04/2011 00:30

sorry about typos!!

LDNmummy · 02/04/2011 00:44

You've been hitting the Pinot with that paragraph!

Grin
LDNmummy · 02/04/2011 00:45

Lame joke, sorry!

googoomama · 02/04/2011 00:45

I totally agree with OP. When I was little my mum was my teacher and my dad was my headmaster. I was a social paraih throughout school, especially when I went to next school. Every boy who had been smacked by my dad hated me (even though he had done the same to me), every time I got a good makr the other kids said "Oh well you would, you're posh and you're dad helped you with your homework". It's affected my life ever since (I'm now 38).
I'm a teacher too now and I also totally diagree with support staff's kids being at the same school. It causes no end of nother at our school, with support staff getting involved in their teenage girls' rows and the techers feeling like they can't deal with any discipline issues regarding these children, as the support staff would over react and it would create a bad atmosphere in the staffroom. Nightmare.

Loshad · 02/04/2011 01:10

At the school i teach at loads of teachers, ta's and support staff send their kids there - it's seen (quite reasonably) as an endorsement of the outstanding verdict on the school - not had any problems, i teach the head's kid, several teachers kids and 2 techinicians kids. i don't favour them, not do they expect it, they are treated like any other student. School i taught in last year had hardly any fac brats - unsurprising since it was so poor.
My dcs are at various indi's - all have a good share of teachers/tas/support staff kids there.
TBH I'd use it as an indicator in school choice - if school has lots of fac brats then it is likley to be pretty good.

gapbear · 02/04/2011 08:32

Nobody's answered my question. Primary teaching jobs are thin on the ground - why should I give mine up to appease someone with a chip on their shoulder?

cory · 02/04/2011 08:39

This presupposes a situation where all parents who are in any way involved with education have plenty of schools to choose from; not only would you have to live in a community where there are plenty of schools, but those schools would have to be in catchment or not over-subscribed.

BoattoBolivia · 02/04/2011 08:43

Personally, as a teacher, I don't want to be in the the same school as my dcs mainly because I want to be 'mummy' in the playground and to keep my personal and professional life very separate. I have also always chosen to work in schools with a 20 minute or so commute, which would mean my dcs would have no local friends. But I know other people make it work perfectly well, so horses for courses really.

SycamoretreeIsVile · 02/04/2011 08:44

Um. I had two choices of primary school in the village I grew up in.

My mum was a teacher at one. My dad was the HT at the other.

You are right, for the sake of everyone, I should have taught myself everything I know with the help of Mr Hedgehog, Colonel FireFly and Stig at the end of my garden.

Humblest apologies. I don't THINK anyone was scarred for life. Hmm

onceamai · 02/04/2011 08:52

If the parent teaches at the best school in the area, why should the child be prevented from going? I've never known it as an issue when the parent teaches at the local "satisfactory" school - they generally get their child into the Ofsted rated "outstanding one"

ElsieMc · 02/04/2011 09:08

I have large age gap children and in the first primary school, you would not even have known one particular child was the teacher's daughter. She was professional, no problem at all.

Roll on ten years and new primary school. Teacher's children and TA's children all in school often from out of catchment area. Favouritism is just awful. For example, all the children are expected to sit quietly in their year groups in assembly whilst teacher's child sits and her knee and walks in and out - what sort of example is that? Never corrected by the head, whilst she singles out other children for not sitting still etc.

Same children always in the paper (add to that governor's children), always receive awards each week etc.

One teacher walks round the school holding hands with her daughter and is allowed inside if it is cold whilst the others go out to play. Some of the TA's are over protective and one dinner lady told me she received a phone call telling her she must not go ahead with a punishment relating to a teacher's child.

It's down to the culture within the school and it should not have remained unchallenged for so long.

SycamoretreeIsVile · 02/04/2011 11:27

Shock at that Elsie.

No such nonsense when I was at school.

I remember my dad having to take my class for a morning when my teacher was off sick. He called the register and I had to answer "Yes Mr Sycamoretree". Blush

It's up to the head and the parent (in my case, the same thing) to treat the child like any other. I don't think it's the difficult, tbh.

helendigestives · 02/04/2011 14:00

My Mum was headteacher of the Primary School I went to, and it wasn't hard for her to treat me like any other pupil because - y'know - shock horror, she's a professional! 30 yrs' experience tends to prepare you for how to behave as a teacher. [shrug]

YABU

Parmallama · 02/04/2011 14:05

It shouldn't be a problem.

chubsasaurus · 02/04/2011 14:09

HUGE bonus of teaching at a private school...

Toughasoldboots · 02/04/2011 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mawbroon · 02/04/2011 14:24

I have to agree with the bit about "If the teacher is unpopular then the child gets it"

My siblings and I were the children of unpopular teachers, and by goodness, yes, we suffered bullying and general unpleasantness from other kids because of who our parents were.

everlong · 02/04/2011 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 02/04/2011 14:30

Our school has several children of teachers there. including the head's. I have seen no problems whatsoever (and one of the head's children was in my son's class).

Toughasoldboots · 02/04/2011 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FebreezeYourJeans · 02/04/2011 14:38

Wasn't there a thread a few weeks ago suggesting that teachers in the state system who sent their children to private schools were spawn of the devil?

Many voices were raised in wonderment that we all didn't choose to send our children to the schools in which we worked. 'What hope' they cried if teachers don't stand by their teaching and send their own children to this school, 'what are you saying about the school in which you teach, if it's not good enough for our own children?' they bemoaned with much wringing of hands.

Now this!

BORED NOW!

desperatelyseekingsnoozes · 02/04/2011 15:01

Teachers are known for being fussy about where they teach, it makes sense they would be this way as you would hope teachers care about education. So if your child us at a school where a lot of teachers send their children it is a good sign and nto something to protest about.

Lots of the problems above suggest schools out of control and therefore staff children are the least of their problems.

Two of my sons have been through the school I teach at. They have not had any problems. My sons have not been in my class, although one is considering taking my subject at A Level so I may then teach him.

The only time I thought that perhaps my job caused heartache for my children is when they were deciding to take up their places at the grammar school. They both wanted to take the test, they both passed but decided to go to the comprehensive in which I teach. They were given complete free choice but I wonder if my employment at the alternative comprehensive and strong feelings about it influenced the decision. They are both doing very well so there is no regret - but I do wonder.

desperatelyseekingsnoozes · 02/04/2011 15:02

Febreeze people care about education and therefore worry about the quality of teachers. I know it caused much eye brow rising when my children took the 11plus and I understood it tbh.

Goblinchild · 02/04/2011 15:05

TAOB, I suppose that's where the professional bit comes in.
Rather than gossiping about other people's children in the playground and comparing book band levels.

Toughasoldboots · 02/04/2011 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.