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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my child to travel to Aus with someone I don't know?

65 replies

discobeaver · 01/04/2011 13:24

So, his father is moving back to Australia and wants him to come and visit - fine. My ds is 13. My ex has contacted me via solicitor to say he wants ds to come out this Christmas, and to travel with someone I have never heard of, let alone met. apparently this person is a good friend of the family.

Would a court expect me to agree to this? It seems wrong to me, I haven't discussed it with ds yet, as there are lots of other things going on with this move, but wondered what would you do/think?

In the solicitor's letter there is also a long list of people, from vague relatives to friends to work colleagues who are suggested as future travelling companions - none of which I have met.

I am only really happy with immediate family that I have met acting as chaperone, but would be grateful for other perspectives or experiences, thanks.

OP posts:

Meglet · 01/04/2011 13:26

yanbu.

Housewife101 · 01/04/2011 13:28

I'd be saying 'Hell No' to that. If you haven't met them and don't feel comfortable refuse. Not sure what the court would think, I suppose at 13 they might take your DS' opinion into account?

cestlavielife · 01/04/2011 13:29

just ask to meet them first?

your Ds is 13.
acc to BA can travel alone anyway... tho it says
"?Children between their 12th and 18th birthdays requesting assistance can also be registered as unaccompanied minors by following the same booking process."

www.britishairways.com/travel/childinfo/public/en_gb
Important notice when booking children travelling alone

?On British Airways operated flights, children under the age of 12 years must be accompanied by a person of 16 years of age or above.
?On flights operated by our codeshare partner Meridiana, children under the age of 12 years must be accompanied by a person of 18 years of age or above.
?The person accompanying the child can be a family member, guardian or other appointed person.
?If the child cannot be accompanied by a family member, guardian or other appointed person, he/she must be registered with our Skyflyer Solo service or we will be unable to accept them for travel.
?You cannot book the Skyflyer Solo service on ba.com
Please note that rules and regulations for children travelling alone may vary by country, so please check the applicable regulations with the local country authorities.

candleshoe · 01/04/2011 13:29

YANBU - even if this person is 'Mary Poppins' if you don't know them then you shouldn't trust them with your child ... if you don't trust his father's opinion on the matter.

scurryfunge · 01/04/2011 13:30

Could you arrange to meet this companion before you son travels? At 13 does he need a companion?

How does your son feel about this?

He could fly as an unaccompanied minor and staff will ensure he is looked after.

LisasCat · 01/04/2011 13:30

From 6 I regularly flew unaccompanied to and from Cyprus (where grandparents lived) and my parents trusted me in the care of the BA stewardesses. So perhaps suggest to your ex that DS do this. Then it's not one unknown adult sitting next to him for the whole flight, it's the professional staff keeping an eye out for his safety. (Plus he might be allowed into the cockpit - no idea if that's remotely appealing for a 13 year old boy though!)

jamaisjedors · 01/04/2011 13:31

He will be 14 by Christmas. Why don't you ask him how HE feels about travelling with a "stranger", rather than how YOU feel about it (which is rather beside the point I think).

BTW I thought your DS was going to be 3 or something from your title.

Sorry I think YABU.

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 01/04/2011 13:31

discobeaver, your DS could travel alone and the cabin crew would look after him. There are plenty of children that travel from the UK to Aus unaccompanied and the airlines are well equipped to look after them. There has never been a case of a 'lost' unaccompanied child!

Alternatively, could you get to know any of these people, either face to face or by telephone? It would be a shame for your DS to miss out on a trip to Aus. It's a fabulous country. Also, you will want him to spend time with his father, presumably?

Housewife101 · 01/04/2011 13:31

I wouldn't let your 13 yr old travel alone to Australia, I've done that journey loads of times and it is really long and so tiring. I don't like to do it alone so would be very hesitant to expect a 13yr old to do it alone.

mumblechum1 · 01/04/2011 13:32

I'd rather send them as an unaccompanied minor, ie under the care of the airline than with some friend/relative you've never met.

Apart from anything else, your ds may feel uncomfortable having to make small talk with said friend/reli for the best part of 24 hours and would rather sit watching movies/playing games etc under the occasional care of the hostess.

grovel · 01/04/2011 13:32

I'm pretty sure that my DS would have wanted to travel alone under the circs. 24 hours is a long time to sit with a strange adult who is "responsible" for you.

LiegeAndLief · 01/04/2011 13:33

I used to fly an as unaccompanied minor at this age, although to Malaysia so not as far as Aus. I think I'd feel much more comfortable about my dc being looked after by the cabin crew than an unknown adult.

It was actually quite fun, as there were always a few of us (some of them going on to Aus as Malaysia was halfway), the crew took care of all passports etc and had a photo and signature for the people picking up/dropping off.

TheAtterySquash · 01/04/2011 13:34

I would be happy for my children to fly as an unaccompanied minor, and would probably prefer that to them flying with someone they didn't know who would be with them the whole way. As a 12 year old, I would have loathed that.

Would you be happy to use the unaccompanied minor service?

mumblechum1 · 01/04/2011 13:35

btw, my ds flew to the East coast of the US alone when he was 15 and had to change planes in Denver. He didn't go as an unaccompanied minor as didn't want to be treated as a child.

I appreciate though that if your ds has to change planes it would be best for him to go as an unacc. minor as the airline will escort him right from one to the other.

FabbyChic · 01/04/2011 13:36

It isnt just the flight though is it? You have to change the flight is not direct.

Is the 13 year old confident enough to check in for his next flight? Follow signs to where it is etc.,

Original poster

discobeaver · 01/04/2011 13:36

Thanks all - he wouldn't be missing out, he will definitely go, like I said there are lots of issues to do with this move atm, I just wondered what everyone thought about the travelling issue. I would be uncomfortable at the thought of him going alone, he is quite a young 13, and I am precious.

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 01/04/2011 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PatriciaHolm · 01/04/2011 14:39

Flying as an unaccompanied minor would mean the airlines taking complete responsibility for him, and deal with any problems.

The Oz flights stop in a number of places, but normally you don't have to check in or anything again. You just get off the plane, wait for a couple of hours and get on again!

Skinit · 01/04/2011 14:50

I can sympathise...my DH is Aussie and we almost split...the thought of thing like this were very worrying. I do think YABU though....but it will be a MASSIVE adventure for your DS...a real opportunity to grow and mature.

How does DS feel?

JanMorrow · 01/04/2011 15:05

I would go with the accompanied minor option too really. It depends what he (your son) wants though.

Not all flights "change" on the way to Aus by the way, I'm going next month and we're stopping to refuel halfway but not actually getting off the plane.

I'd have hated having to chat to an adult I didn't know for 24 hours when I was that age!

DoodleAlley · 01/04/2011 15:09

Hell no you are not bu. You wouldn't entrust a load of money to a stranger so why your child.

Children of 13 do get lost, hurt etc.

Stand by your guns in my opinion

wannaBe · 01/04/2011 15:21

I don't see why you can't meet this adult first? What exactly do people think is going to happen?

He'll be almost fourteen by then so not a baby by any means. In another two years he'll be off to Ibizza with his mates without an adult in sight.

Honeybee79 · 01/04/2011 15:35

Can't he just fly as an unaccompanied minor? The airline staff would take good care of him and your ex could just meet him at the other end.

BitOfFun · 01/04/2011 15:38

I can't really see then problem, to be honest. What are you afraid might happen?

NettoSuperstar · 01/04/2011 15:41

My 11yr old nephew flew to Perth last Christmas as an unaccompanied minor and will be doing it often as my brother has emigrated.
He was fine.

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