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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my child to travel to Aus with someone I don't know?

65 replies

discobeaver · 01/04/2011 13:24

So, his father is moving back to Australia and wants him to come and visit - fine. My ds is 13. My ex has contacted me via solicitor to say he wants ds to come out this Christmas, and to travel with someone I have never heard of, let alone met. apparently this person is a good friend of the family.

Would a court expect me to agree to this? It seems wrong to me, I haven't discussed it with ds yet, as there are lots of other things going on with this move, but wondered what would you do/think?

In the solicitor's letter there is also a long list of people, from vague relatives to friends to work colleagues who are suggested as future travelling companions - none of which I have met.

I am only really happy with immediate family that I have met acting as chaperone, but would be grateful for other perspectives or experiences, thanks.

OP posts:

HooverTheHamaBeads · 01/04/2011 20:06

Travel as unaccompanied minor he will be well looked after and have a totally brilliant time in Oz for Christmas.

Maryz · 01/04/2011 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiegeAndLief · 02/04/2011 09:36

I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect his dad to come and get him at 13 to be honest - presumably he would have to bring him back as well - that's 4 24 hours flights, which apart from the mind numbing tedium would bump the cost up an enormous amount.

mumblechum1 · 02/04/2011 10:49

Is anyone seriously expecting the dad to come and collect him then deliver him home? Surely not - he's not a baby!

TrillianAstra · 02/04/2011 11:17

Why don't you ask your son and see what he would rather do?

DilysPrice · 02/04/2011 11:31

I'd go along with the unaccompanied minor route, I used to do London to Thailand aged 11 and it was always fine not counting the time -I lost my brother but it was only for 10 minutes.

Changechangechangeagain · 02/04/2011 11:36

Why don't you go as well. Fly out to Singapore together- have a stay. You put him on plane to oz alone. You can go to Thailand or Malaysia for a break. Dad puts him on plane back to singapore or kl- you meet him and fly home.

lazylula · 02/04/2011 11:39

You say in your Op that this person and the others on the list are strangers to you, but what about your son? Does he know them from when he has been with his dad before he left for Australia, in which case the issue is the person being a stranger to you not him so you need to talk to him about this really to see what he is happy with.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 02/04/2011 11:50

YABU. My Dsis and I used to fly as unaccompanied minors from when we were quite young. Certainly much younger than 13 so I assume that age limit is more recent.

It was brilliant fun. We were always upgraded and spoilt rotten by the cabin crew. We met loads of interesting people and other UMs travelling and it helped make us very self reliant. DD2 made a huge fuss recently about having to get a bus to school. I realised she had never even been on a bus. Let him go, it will do him the world of good and he will have a blast.

Parmallama · 02/04/2011 15:36

I would not be happy with that at all.

Parmallama · 02/04/2011 15:38

Damn, meant to add;

If he decided to keep the child out there indefinately, would australian law allow that or compel the child to be sent back home?

I think the father should visit the child over here rather than expect him to fly out to see him.

mumblechum1 · 02/04/2011 15:54

Parma, It would be easy to have the child returned from Australia (difficult from a Muslim country). And presumably going to Australia would be an adventure not to be missed.

Parmallama · 02/04/2011 15:57

OK..I didn't know the law re this.

I know it would probably be an education for the child, broadening the mind and all that..

But it wouldn't sit easy with me if it were my child.

Australia is an awful long way away.

I'd prefer if he did that when he was 18.

brimfull · 02/04/2011 15:58

yabu
just meet the said 'stranger' or let him travel unaccompanied.

MCos · 02/04/2011 18:31

I fly long distance a lot. I also have nephews around this age.
How mature, independent and confident is your DS? Is he likely to be under pressure in spending a really extended lenght of time with somebody he doesn't know very well? Or would he feel more secure to have somebody with him? Wud it be possible to do a mix of both - have him travel as unaccompanied minor, but with seating near/beside this other person? Not sure if unaccompanied minors get to preselect their seats in advance? Anybody know?

If it were my DS, I think I might want to hold off on this trip until next year, when he would be 15.

But it is a fabulous opportunity for your DS.

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