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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give up work, warning, tax credits involved!

253 replies

monkeyfacegrace · 31/03/2011 15:44

Ok all, Im getting myself all muddled so I cant think straight! Please help!

At the moment, I work 16 hours per week. My kids, 4 & 2 go to nursery while Im at work, and the government pay 80% (soon to be 70%) of my childcare.

I earn £400 wages, and get £660 every 4 weeks TC. My childcare costs are £450 per month on average for both kids (vary due to month lenghts, my 4 yr old grant etc). So I get £1060, minus £450 nursery, and the nursery and work are in the next town, so I spend £100 p.month on diesel to get there and back. Leaves me with £500ish(?!)

If I give up work, and pull kids out of nursery (except eldest who will do her 15 hours free), I worked out via TC calculator, I will get £450 per 4 weeks, then I will work a little 4 hour shift every week to earn an extra £100 p.month.

Now on one hand I feel like a scrote and a 'benefit grabber', but as my DH points out, Im actually saving the government money as they pay for so much childcare so I can work. My youngest will miss out on 1 1/2 days nursery that he gets now, but at the moment I feel like I never get quality time with him Sad

What do you wise lot think?

OP posts:
Violethill · 31/03/2011 19:11

ROFL this is getting absurd! You are relying first on tax credits, and now in hypothetical money which might be left to you, but of course might disappear/diminish in all sorts of other ways.

Risky isn't the word for it!

Makes me very relieved to have a decent job and decent pension provision!

Original poster
monkeyfacegrace · 31/03/2011 19:12

I am naive, Ive already said that. Im 24 and learning along the way. Im good at being a mum, looking after animals, selling, but not finances or cooking. I know my weaknesses and am willing to learn.

OP posts:
brandnewcombineharvester · 31/03/2011 19:13

So, Londonone...following your argument to its logical conclusion- noone in the developing world should have children as 'they can't afford them'. Probably your older relatives and predecessors in the days before the growth of wealth in this country shouldn't have had kids as they 'couldn't afford them'. Basically, you are saying is that ONLY people like you or richer than you are allowed children?
That is breathtakingly arrogant and offensive.

JemimaMop · 31/03/2011 19:14

I would still think about a pension. Unless your parents have some other provision in place for if they need long term care then the house might have to be sold to pay for it. So I would definitely not count my chickens.

As for working, I think at the moment I would continue working. I know it sounds illogical when you would be no worse off not working, but I know lots of people who gave up work when they had their DC and then find it really hard to get back into the jobs market. With the job cuts etc this is only going to get harder.

doley · 31/03/2011 19:14

I know some wonderful parents ,through no fault of their own they will never command a high wage .

What does londonone think should happen in this case ?

They can't really afford children can they ?
and yet their children are well bought up and adored .

In the US, we get a tax refund for all of our 3 children each year ~everyone does ,most countries have something to help raise children .

Most Governments realize this and act accordingly .

Relatives of mine in Norway make a small fortune ...guess what ?
they still get something to help raise them .

It would be a very strange world if only those that could really afford them did .

I think it would be a little elitist :(

To the OP ,life is short ...do what you need to, to get through ~ you are not asking for that much in the grand scheme of things :)

laInfanta · 31/03/2011 19:14

OK, start by learning that it's silly to rely on dubious government benefits that are liable to disappear at a moment's notice and property that you will not get your hands on for years, if ever.

I can't help you with cooking.

Original poster
monkeyfacegrace · 31/03/2011 19:15

Im not relying on hypothetical money, Im just trying to survive, today and tomorrow, not panic about 40 years time. Im trying to keep a roof over our heads, food in our tummys and a happy household. Im doing my very best, and for some of you older and wiser ladies, Im not up to your standards, but Im doing my best.

I rely on TC either for childcare or otherwise, same as others rely on other benefits, so please dont start on me over that one.

Its not my fault that my parents have catergorically told me that I will not need to worry about a pension. I dont know the ins and outs.

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 31/03/2011 19:17

Even so, it isn't yours until you inherit it so it is very dangerous to lay your plans out thinking you are going to get that money in the future. Also, property isn't cheap to maintain and you will need to have an income to keep the property in good condition.

24 is old enough to be concerned about a pension and burying your head doesn't get you anywhere in life. The younger you start the better due to the magic of compound interest. DH was 17 when he started his pension and is well ahead of most people 10 years older than him.

Violethill · 31/03/2011 19:17

"Its not my fault that my parents have catergorically told me that I will not need to worry about a pension."

Pardon, did you say you were 24, or 12? Hmm

mamatomany · 31/03/2011 19:19

My Dh was told don't worry about taking on that £300k mortgage at the age of 40, you'll inherit from both parents, only now his parents have both divorced their respective partners so the pot is 50% smaller than anticipated oh and they both now need to live on their savings as they are single households.
Ignore everything your parents promise you with the best of intentions then if it actually materialises it'll be a lovely bonus.
In the meantime get a more suitable job.

Original poster
monkeyfacegrace · 31/03/2011 19:19

Im 24 violethill, probably a good 10 years younger than you Wink
But age means nothing in that statement, they shall be my parents forever regardless, and I trust them totally.

Can we forget this please, Im not asking for pension advice, as I dont have one with or without my current dillema.

OP posts:
JemimaMop · 31/03/2011 19:20

I think at 24 with 2 children you need to start to understand the ins and outs TBH. I don't know how old your parents are, but theoretically with people living longer you might retire before inheriting anything that they have left.

For the today and tomorrow staying in work is definitely going to be better for your future career prospects. Plus as others have said we don't know what will happen with tax credits (we claim them too and so I know this all too well!)

laInfanta · 31/03/2011 19:21

You're pretty much my age.

Your parents are incorrect. Agree with mamatomany - don't rely on what they tell you

Violethill · 31/03/2011 19:23

Make that 20 years younger, love. Wink

And I am likely to inherit a goodly sum from the sale of my very elderly parents London house, but no way would I rely on that to fund my retirement. You are totally daft, and clearly burying your head in the sand!

ninah · 31/03/2011 19:23

mollie sorry to hear about your job what a pita, good luck
and to the poster who objects to fathers not being named on birth certs, did you realise that unless the couple is married, the father has to attend registration to sign his name? you can't just put it down for him if he has bggred off

Want2bSupermum · 31/03/2011 19:23

Doley - we are in the US too and it is amazing to see how families, children and childcare are supported through the tax code. The government have really put their money where their mouth is. I think it is this help with daycare and the cost of raising a family that enable more women the choice between working or staying home to raise their family.

DH is Danish and the support his cousin gets is unbelievable. She works 20hr/wk for her boyfriends company and the government fund a full time nursery place for their daughter. It doesn't cost them anything.

Want2bSupermum · 31/03/2011 19:26

ninah - I did know that and I think that it is wrong that the father has to attend to have his name on the birth certificate. If the mother died in childbirth she wouldn't be there to sign the birth certificate but she would still be named on it right?

Journey · 31/03/2011 19:31

You have a DH and you're entitled to 80% childcare. Do you have any idea how fortunate you are. Why are you entitled to such a large amount?

mamatomany · 31/03/2011 19:32

Their combined income must be less than £16k to get the childcare element, I wouldn't call that lucky tbh.

Violethill · 31/03/2011 19:36

Agree mamatomany.

They are on a very low income (though her DH has a VERY good pension Hmm ) she has no pension provision at all, and she is about to jack in her 16 hour a week job because she doesn't see enough of her kids, while of course desperately hoping that she gets another job the moment she wants to, oh, and desperately hoping that in 40 years time she'll inherit half a million!!!!

Not many people's idea of lucky!

Original poster
monkeyfacegrace · 31/03/2011 19:36

Combined income is 23k atm, and we get 80%. This would go down to 70% as per new changes to TC.

OP posts:
ninah · 31/03/2011 19:36

I suppose you are pretty sure that the mother is the mother, iyswim want2be
journey I think the top limit has gone/is going down to 70%?

usualsuspect · 31/03/2011 19:37

Yes shes so lucky to earn minimum wage Hmm

Original poster
monkeyfacegrace · 31/03/2011 19:37

Thanks for totally pissing on my life violethill. I'll just fucking jump off the bridge now shall I. Fuck, who would want to be me hey?

OP posts:
Original poster
monkeyfacegrace · 31/03/2011 19:38

Fucking hell Violet you have really upset me in a way no1 ever has. Ive never had my life that shat on before.

OP posts:
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