to expect our closest friends to sponsor my DH?

[Aworryingtrend]

I've namechanged for this as the details might make me recognisable in RL.

DH is running the London Marathon in April to raise money for Tommy's, the baby charity. This is a cause close to our hearts as I had a very early MC last year and we've been TTC since then.

Our close friends (a couple) who we see fortnightly have not once asked how his training is going, or sponsored him. To put this in context they are both extremely well-paid and have 3 holidays planned for this year and eat out twice a week. I say this only because obviously if they had little money i would not expect them to sponsor him.

I may be a bit over-sensitive because last year I helped my friend (female half of couple) with a large project of hers, which took a lot of time on my behalf and did leave me out of pocket. I was happy to do it as that's what friends are for etc but I'm not seeing anything in return. I am so hurt that they have taken so little interest in DH doing this amazing thing and have not even spared a couple of pounds towards it. I think I would be more accepting if they actually said "Look these are the charities we donate to and for this reason we wont be sponsoring DH" but its just the way they are ignoring it thats got to me. the friendship is becomign a bit strained at the moment as a result as i feel it is all take and no give on their part.

AIBU to expect them to sponsor DH?
Would IBU to call them on it?

Your thoughts please.

I probably receive about 3 requests a week for sponsorship, some from close friends, some from vague acquaintances. I don't sponsor anyone, regardless of their relationship to me, the activity they're undertaking or the charity they are collecting for. I've selected 3 charities that are important to me, I've identified a reasonable amount of money appropriate to my income, and I give what I feel comfortable with. Even when people try to guilt trip me into sponsoring them I refuse. As some earlier posters have said, if you want to run 26 miles/climb Kilimanjaro/jump out of a plane, that's your choice. My financial support of charities has nothing to do with how someone else chooses to exert themselves. If someone kept making subtle references to my failure to sponsor them, I'd be pretty peed off.

I also get asked for sponsorship a lot, particularly at work. Once, when I was a VERY poorly paid trainee with a lot of debt a friend asked for sponsorship for running the marathon. I said fine, but I could only offer £5, he said not to bother as he didn't want everyone after me only pledging £5 and said he would come back to me at the end. I told him not to bother and saved myself the £5. I was .

Why should they sponsor him if they don't want to? It seem obvious that they don't want to or they would have by now with all the very unsutble hints you have given them. I am constantly being sent e-mails from friends expecting me to sponsor them or their family. I have got to the point that I now ignore then. I give money to charities monthly (out of wages) plus Christmas and special times (anniversaries of loved ones death's etc.) I now no longer feel the need to sponsor all requests or explain myself when yet more begging e-mails come round for sponsorship for something that the person themselves wants to do, i.e. marathon, sky diving, mountain climbing, dressing up as whatever. It is often an excuse to do something they want and then say 'oh it's for charity'. If you want money to go to the charity, do it yourself