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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a bit irritated when I get given cards signed by friends who add the name of their partner whom I don't know very well.

82 replies

madonnawhore · 30/03/2011 23:46

That, really.

I like my best friend's boyfriend but we're not really close or anything and I don't see him that often. It kind of annoys me when she gives me birthday or Christmas cards and signs them from her and him. It's like, I don't really know him and I know he isn't especially bothered about my birthday or wishing me well in my new home or anything. Why can't she just sign it from her, since she's the person I have the relationship with?

Anyone else get irritated with '&' couples?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 30/03/2011 23:49

They come as a couple though, especially Christmas cards () you can't be writing them weeding out who knows who, who you've never met etc.

It's just polite and accepted I think.

starfishmummy · 30/03/2011 23:50

At least it wasn't also from the dog!!

hardhatdonned · 30/03/2011 23:50

Depends how long they've been together. Anything under a year and, imo, it should come from the individual.

helibee · 30/03/2011 23:50

Would you object if he was her husband rather than boyfriend?

chicletteeth · 30/03/2011 23:51

It's just way it is. I'm not fussed about two of my sister-in-laws. Never speak to them, see them rarely, but there they are, on every card. What can I do? And really, is it that big of a deal? It's a card thats sits on a shelf for a week and then gets recycled! You even say you like him?

YABU

Pancakeflipper · 30/03/2011 23:51

If my mates ( the ones I don't see much due to distance and us all being busy) sent me cards without their partner's name on - I'd think they'd split up.

helibee · 30/03/2011 23:52

It doesn't bother me, I think if someone is in a couple then that's fine. There are plenty more things to get annoyed about IMHO. And you have met him, opts not like she started dating someone and signed his name when you didn't even know who he was.

AgentZigzag · 30/03/2011 23:52

Where do you stand on children you've never met being on the card OP?

DramaInPyjamas · 30/03/2011 23:54

It doesn't bother me tbh

MosEisley · 30/03/2011 23:55

I always sign from my DH & 3DC as well as myself - DH does likewise on the rare occasions he sends someone a card. I know what you mean about the relationship sometimes being more with me than with them, but I guess DH & DC would and do wish the friend a happy birthday as well, so why not add them?

Think you're reading a bit much into it, tbh.

BluddyMoFo · 30/03/2011 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic · 30/03/2011 23:55

Yabu

NoWayNoHow · 30/03/2011 23:55

If they're a couple in a serious relationship, YABU.

In fact, YABU posting this on AIBU. This is a seriously scraping the bottom of the bottom of the barrel in terms of "annoying" stuff.

worraliberty · 30/03/2011 23:56

It's not often I'm speechless but never in my wildest dreams would I have thought anyone felt like that OP Grin

NoWayNoHow · 30/03/2011 23:57

BluddyMoFo I think I love you

Original poster
madonnawhore · 30/03/2011 23:57

I just find it weird because although I like him and it's perfectly fine, he wouldn't give me a card of his own volition and I wouldn't give him one. I feel like BF's sentiments are diluted by the addition of someone who I know doesn't, in actuality, give a shit.

I would feel the same if it was a friend who was married and I didn't know her husband that well. It's like, 'thanks for the sentiment but he doesn't mean anything to me really'.

This isn't a big deal, I just noticed it because I was having a bit of a clear out tonight and found some old xmas and birthday and 'good luck in your new home' cards and all the ones from BF are from her and her DP and I was a bit like, 'why do I have so many cards signed on behalf of her DP? I barely frigging know him!'.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 30/03/2011 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoWayNoHow · 31/03/2011 00:00
Grin
chicletteeth · 31/03/2011 00:00

Most men wouldn't give you a card of their own volition (husbands/boyfriends aside)!

Having read your last post, YABVU!

FGS, you to know somebody well for hem to be on a card. If you had a friend with 4 kids, would all the kids be allowed there? Or not the tiny ones, because you don't know them well (they probably wouldn't know you well if they were very young and saw you infrequently!)

helibee · 31/03/2011 00:01

But it doesn't dilute her sentiments. She doesn't wish you any less of a happy birthday, good luck in new home etc just because she signs from herself and her dp.

chicletteeth · 31/03/2011 00:01

you have to know somebody well for them

Original poster
madonnawhore · 31/03/2011 00:03

Am I weird for thinking this is weird?!

I guess I've never been in a relationship where I've been a 'unit' like that so I don't really understand it. DP and I haven't been together long enough to start signing cards to our friends on behalf of one another.

OP posts:
Original poster
madonnawhore · 31/03/2011 00:05

Lol BluddyMoFo next time I am going to wipe my arse on the card and post it back to them with skid marks.

How very dare they indeed!

I feel like this is a Larry David kind of issue.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 31/03/2011 00:06

Signing cards from both of them? Perverts.

midlandsmumof4 · 31/03/2011 00:08

Can't understand why you're irritated. She's being polite. We get Xmas cards every year from DH's mates some of whom who I don't know (he's a member of a couple of teams), obviously written by wives/gf's who I also don't know and who don't know me either. I cheerfully reply to all from Dh & me. What's the problem or am I strange????

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