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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a bit irritated when I get given cards signed by friends who add the name of their partner whom I don't know very well.

82 replies

madonnawhore · 30/03/2011 23:46

That, really.

I like my best friend's boyfriend but we're not really close or anything and I don't see him that often. It kind of annoys me when she gives me birthday or Christmas cards and signs them from her and him. It's like, I don't really know him and I know he isn't especially bothered about my birthday or wishing me well in my new home or anything. Why can't she just sign it from her, since she's the person I have the relationship with?

Anyone else get irritated with '&' couples?

OP posts:
lesley33 · 31/03/2011 09:16

We have signatures on cards from both of us. If it is to a friend, whichever of us is closest tends to write the card and sign it and the other adds their signature. We have lived together for 19 years.

tbh I thought everyone did this. I just see as an expected socila convention. On a par with asking a colleague how they are, when I really don't care.

Penelope1980 · 31/03/2011 09:19

YANBU. I don't like this either. It's hard to articulate why, but probably because it feels a little dishonest in that if I was to call the DP/DH up and thank them for the card they probably wouldn't know what I was talking about. I am happily married and have been for a number of years, but would never sign a card me and DH. If the card is from him as well he will write his own message, which is what he does for mutual friends and family. Or, at the very least, write his name in his own handwriting.

I also think that some of you are being a little mean - defensive perhaps because there is a very good chance that you have been sending cards to people that secretly wish you wouldn't pretend they are also from DH when they aren't?

Hullygully · 31/03/2011 09:31

What absolute unspeakable cunts

poopnscoop · 31/03/2011 09:33

YABU

MosEisley · 31/03/2011 09:33

There is something slightly odd about people signing from their pets, though. We have friends who wish us happy birthday from all four of their cats. They live miles away so it isn't as if we see the cats much, either.

Can't say it irritates me, though - I just have a little giggle.

ChristinedePizan · 31/03/2011 09:34

I do sort of know what you mean. I had a lot of birth cards from colleagues at work who'd signed them with their name and their husbands who I'd never met. I think it's habit to a large extent.

What's really weird is people who leave partners off. My friend's MIL used to put her name in brackets on Xmas cards, even though they'd been together 10 years. She didn't promoted to bracket-less when they got married but only when she produced a grandchild :o

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 31/03/2011 09:37

How odd that you have the time/inclination to be bothered by such a trivial thing. YABU

hmmSleep · 31/03/2011 09:38

I always sign from me, dh and the 3 dcs, now that would really annoy you!

marmaladetwatkins · 31/03/2011 09:42

Ha ha ha ha ha ha I can beat you all hands down. Check this out.

My mother acquired a new twat gentleman friend three months before I got married. She signed my wedding card with his name then fell out with him on the day before my wedding, so she badly erased his name from my card. It pisses me off if ever I am having a nostalgic read through my wedding cards and I see it again.

JoanofArgos · 31/03/2011 09:42

It can come over a bit smug-marrieds - but the only time it's ever annoyed me is if it's a christmas card and they do actually know the name of my partner, but leave it off, yet they sign theirs from both of them when I don't know their other half any more than they know mine.

Original poster
madonnawhore · 31/03/2011 09:45

Ha! Christine that is bonkers. Imagine being relegated to parentheses; the ultimate insult!

Thank you to everyone who has said they find it annoying too; I'm glad I'm not the only one.

To whoever said I was jealous of my BF, I'm certainly not. She was single for a long time and I'm delighted she's now with someone who I think is great for her. BUT, because she was single for so long, stuff like cards etc have always just been between me and her so now it's like there's this third person tacked onto our 'friendship exchanges' (can't think how else to put it, you know what I mean) and even though I think he's a nice bloke I sort of feel like I don't really know him so why is she putting his name in my cards?

I love the eccentricity of people signing on behalf of their pets though! I think I might try and make that a 'thing'.

OP posts:
lazylula · 31/03/2011 09:50

I send a Christmas card to a friend of dh's who I have never met, I sign it from us all. Infact, I believe these friends are the parents of an ex girlfriend. I think yabu to think that the addition of a partner's name 'dilutes' the sentiment from your friend. She has still chosen you a card, written it and sent it to you, all with the same thought as beforre, just now she has added an extra name. Our next door neighbour always signs their cards from them, their children and grandchild and the dog!

Hullygully · 31/03/2011 09:53

I sign mine from me, dh, dc and the dog and put a kiss from each and a mini paw print from the dog. I tried not putting the dog on, but it didn't feel right, I felt like I was denying her being part of our family and she would be hurt.

Shoot me.

marmaladetwatkins · 31/03/2011 09:56
NestaFiesta · 31/03/2011 09:57

Happy birthday madonnawhore from Nesta

(Mr Fiesta and the kids don't want me to put their name as they have only met you twice and therefore they don't want you to receive their good wishes until they know you better)

YABU! and grumpy! Go and sniff some flowers or something or have a go on a spacehopper to make yourself cheery.

ChristinedePizan · 31/03/2011 09:57

My family always include our pets when we send cards to one another. My sister has more animals than family members. I used to draw paw prints from my cats :o

zukiecat · 31/03/2011 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 31/03/2011 10:05

Let's dance, Christine.

Hullygully · 31/03/2011 10:05

And zukie.

ChristinedePizan · 31/03/2011 10:24
Original poster
madonnawhore · 31/03/2011 10:41
OP posts:
CornflowerB · 31/03/2011 10:43

Honest to God, have you nothing better to complain about?

Original poster
madonnawhore · 31/03/2011 10:47

I've got LOADS of things to complain about, Cornflower. I'm just getting warmed up...

OP posts:
MosEisley · 31/03/2011 21:02

So there are more animal signatures about than I realised. I think the paw print thing is quite funny and I shall suggest it to my friend with the cats... In time for my birthday!

No pets here anymore though, so I won't be adopting paw prints.

Happylander · 31/03/2011 21:13

My DH politely moaned at me for not putting DSD on cards to his newly found half sister. I've met my DSD twice and she hasn't met the half-sister or even knows she exists really. I honestly forgot did feel bad about it though. I would always put DH on any card though even if the other person has not met them.

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