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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have pinned my DS down?

82 replies

lostinafrica · 30/03/2011 18:55

He's 3yo and was tired, but wanted to play with his sisters, not brush his teeth. So I held his arms out the way and brushed the best I could while he squirmed.

It was horrible, but I wasn't sure if that was because I should have gone gently, gently or just because some toddler behaviour is horrible?

So was I BU?

OP posts:
diabolo · 30/03/2011 18:57

No YANBU - 3 yo is the worst age ever.

I had to do this when my DS had his hair cut, fingernails cut, toenails cut etc. He's 11 now and says he doesn't even remember.

It's awful but necessary.

MrsMellowDrummer · 30/03/2011 18:59

My dentist told me to do that if my daughter wouldn't comply with teeth brushing, but he's quite hard core! I've never had to do it, but I guess some people must, or he wouldn't have suggested it. Teeth are important, so you are probably not being unreasonable.

trixie123 · 30/03/2011 18:59

doesn't everyone have to do this sometimes? I have to sort of pin down DS between my crossed legs to get him dressed sometimes. He's too young to reason with or explain yet so sometimes I think it is just necessary.

Needanewname · 30/03/2011 18:59

nope, you were being a mum, welcome to the 3's! Why do we only hear of the terrible 2's? It does pass lost!

toeragsnotriches · 30/03/2011 18:59

No YANBU. I have to pin down my DS (2.6) to brush his teeth at all every night. Toothbrushing and sleep are not optional and he lives in a family so he has to get in line with everyone else. If I reasoned with my DS I'd be there all night. And slowly going insane! And horrible toddler behaviour is always worse when tired!

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 30/03/2011 19:01

I always thought the 2's were bed till they hit the 3's

many people have had to do it

I have had to pin down dd1 to administer disgusting medicine and she does not remember at all

Original poster
lostinafrica · 30/03/2011 19:19

Ah thank you, this is reassuring! You wouldn't guess I've got two older kids, would you?! I guess I've done this before - but I think I've felt bad about it each time and wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

I am a big softy - not a good thing for a mum! Gradually toughening up, though... :o

OP posts:
Original poster
lostinafrica · 30/03/2011 19:20

Too right, Trinity - I've always said that 3 is worse than 2 - the bad behaviour is much more knowing.

OP posts:
pjmama · 30/03/2011 19:23

YANBU - tooth brushing is should not be optional and if more parents were prepared to do what you did, then there'd probably be alot less children around with mouths full of fillings and missing teeth! A dentist friend of mine despairs at how many kids he sees in pain with shocking teeth, where the parents just shrug and say "but he won't let me brush them".

dontjumpplease · 30/03/2011 19:26

I think YANBU, have dealt with the terrible threes myself!
but watch out as you will prob get flamed by the 'just reason with him' brigade... Hmm

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 30/03/2011 19:26

regularly get dd3 (20mths) on the floor (as we have with the other two) she has the option of teeth brushing like her big sisters or it's in a more compromised postion, we've been doing this awhile tho' and dd2 (3) very very very rarely objects to brushing her teath properly.

Glitterandglue · 30/03/2011 19:33

Nah, even if he remembers he'll understand when older that you were doing it for a good reason.

I remember I had to be pinned down for eyedrops when I was younger, but I actually agreed to it - otherwise even though I knew they were necessary I couldn't stop myself squirming away. So one parent held me down and the other held my eye open and put the drops in, haha.

AgentZigzag · 30/03/2011 19:44

Of course you can give them a choice, you stand still while I do your teeth, or you kick and scream while I do your teeth Grin

Lovely older bloke next door joked that it sounded like I was killing DD1 when she was about 3 because of the stink she was kicking up.

I was doing her toe nails Hmm

He apologised when his lovely wife told he can't say stuff like that, but I knew what he meant, DD1's always been a drama queen Grin

LoveLeonardCohen · 30/03/2011 19:45

YANBU, me and DP went through about a year of this DS who was 2.5/3 yrs. He just didn't like his teeth being brushed but we had to do it! Got better at about 3.5 yrs...now he mostly complies. But I used to hate brushing his teeth, so stressful...

pigletmania · 30/03/2011 19:46

YA so not being U, I do this on a daily basis, my dd is just 4 and as Social communication/speech and lang delay and wants to do what she wants to do. Dont feel bad, you are not alone most parents have done it.

Ragwort · 30/03/2011 19:47

I've often done that (still do for nail cutting - that reminds me, better do it tonight Grin) - don't worry about it.

Original poster
lostinafrica · 30/03/2011 19:47

Well, I guess reasoning with him would usually be my first option - and often that works brilliantly. Didn't seem in the most logical frame of mind tonight, though! When the flamers come along, I shall just think of pjmama's dentist. :o

Ooh, eye drops - I remember having to do them myself and they never went in properly. Perhaps I can find a couple of people to pin me down next time I need them!!

OP posts:
dontjumpplease · 30/03/2011 19:48
Grin
Nagoo · 30/03/2011 19:48

YANBU. Teeth are important. I do that.

Only YABU if you use liquid soap Wink

My DSis has to take her 3 year old to the salon as she'll only let them do her toenails. If she was mine I'd sit on her Grin

HecateTheCrone · 30/03/2011 19:48

Oh don't worry about it.

I used to put mine in a headlock Grin

belgo · 30/03/2011 19:49

YANBU. Allowing a child's teeth to become decayed is far more cruel then forcing them to have their teeth brushed.

I have a selection of toothpastes so that the children can choose one they like, but apart from that, tooth brushing is non-negotiable.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 30/03/2011 19:50

YANBU - I have to do this with DS sometimes. I've only had to do it a few times, and rarely do it now because he bloody hates it (obviously) and has realised he's fighting a losing battle :)

He was an angel at two.. I wondered what all the fuss was when people talked of the terrible twos. I swear though, the day he hit 3 he learned the word why, started hitting people and having very impressive tantrums.. bit of a shock!

Original poster
lostinafrica · 30/03/2011 19:55

Hmm... new thread idea: AIBU to have worried for so long about physically restraining my DC? You can tell I am/was a teacher, can't you? Hmm

OP posts:
PaperView · 30/03/2011 19:58

I have to physically restrain my DS2 all the time Hmm

DS3 however - threenager Wink

Thomcat · 30/03/2011 19:59

I'm so glad you're all saying this about 3 yrolds. My DD3 is driving me mad at the moment. I thought it was just that last child thing, which is probably a bit of, but gla dto hear that others think the terrible two's aren't as bad as the terrible 3's! The attitude on her! Feel a little releived now.

By the way, nothign wrong with holding his arm while you made him brush his teeth imo.

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