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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

On Jeremy Kyle today ...Stepmother...just My opinion

65 replies

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:26

Just thought it was odd to hear the term stepmother when the the childs mam is still alive? I think if a childs mother is alive and the child is living with the mother.... it sounds wrong to use the word stepmother for the fathers new wife...I know this is prob gonna annoy people...i dont know why it bothered me..

OP posts:

LessNarkyPuffin · 30/03/2011 10:30

It's not odd at all. Standard in fact. And stop watching trash.

microfight · 30/03/2011 10:31

YABU watching Jeremy Kyle

Original poster

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:32

haha...the baby likes watching it...i have no choice..i think she has a thing for jeremy..

OP posts:

marmaladetwatkins · 30/03/2011 10:35

I don't understand your post. What else would you refer to your father's new wife as?

Lay off the OP for watching Jezza, everyone. It is excellent, sociological television. Or something.

wannaBe · 30/03/2011 10:36

it's not odd.

You are though if you watch jeremy kyle.

Original poster

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:37

just that...fathers new wife...but if it was just a new girlfriend would it still be a stepmother?

OP posts:

marmaladetwatkins · 30/03/2011 10:40

Well, if a parent re-marries, the new spouse is technically the step-parent. What don't you understand?

Original poster

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:43

i think maybe its cos none of them get on that the word stepmother seemed wrong...lousy to the mother cos she was doing everything...

and the father hadnt even seen his kids in 4 months..

but his new wife still gets to be called their stepmother? people should earn the right to be called something like that

OP posts:

Animation · 30/03/2011 10:43

"Sociological television" - yeah - I agree. Not watched it recently but it's great for learning the anti-socials, and how to spot one.

Mamaz0n · 30/03/2011 10:45

Well i am a stepmother. My Dp's children live at home with their mother and step father.

not quite sure why it is so uncomfortable for you.

Original poster

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:45

its not that i dont understand...i do...im not thick..even though i watch jeremy kyle...just annoyed me..and got me thinking

OP posts:

babylann · 30/03/2011 10:48

Jeremy Kyle was on my TV earlier this morning too. DD likes playing with the remote and is at a stage where if you take something from her, she screams the house down. I got sucked in to a couple of the stories, but god I hate that man. He said things like, "So, your boyfriend was upstairs chatting to another bird..." Bird? "You're not going to be one of those women who says 'oh I know he cheated on me but I love him are you? [condescending tone]". Of course she loves him, or else she wouldn't be having his baby and be worried that he's cheating on her. He talks to all men like they are idiots, and all women like they are under an idiot's control.

And the first kid, who he was shouting at and calling him a petulant brat, but then when the kid's mum came out and issued the same thoughts, Jeremy quickly interrupted with: "Yes, but let's not forget he had a traumatic experience when he was younger". It's okay for Jeremy to shout, but when other people try and agree with him, suddenly he takes the high ground.

Gah, next time I'll steal the remote back. He makes me so angry.

allnewtaketwo · 30/03/2011 10:50

"people should earn the right to be called something like that" - what do you propose, some kind of points scheme

marmaladetwatkins · 30/03/2011 10:50

That chav scruffy young bloke who was giving Jezza some lip gave me the lolz. "You look like an ugly Lee Evans with your big flappy ears.Flappy, flappy ears, MONKEY BOY."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Original poster

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:50

im not bad mouthing stepmothers or stepfathers....just me having a stupid morning...it just sounded odd to hear the word stepmother when their mam is still alive...

OP posts:

Animation · 30/03/2011 10:52

I also get irritated with women who say - ..."but I love him" about their anti-social cheats. It's stupid love, infact its not love IMO - probably - desire!

Mamaz0n · 30/03/2011 10:53

thats because we aren't in the middle of a fairy story where parents re marry following the death of a spouse.

RudeEnglishLady · 30/03/2011 10:54

I'd like a points scheme - or a phone number 0991 HOWSMYSTEPPARENTING.
Just so I could see how I was doing against government standards and compared to other step-mothers.

Original poster

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:56

and yeah i do think people need to earn the right to be called a stepmother or stepfather....so if my dad had married someone else after my mam died and she didnt do anything for us the way a mother should do? i should of still see her as my stepmother?

by the way...My dad didnt marry anyone else after my mam died..

OP posts:

Original poster

fran28 · 30/03/2011 10:58

and i really am not bad mouthing step parents....it was just this couple and the way they were...seemed a bit cheeky..he hadnt even seen the kids in 4 months

OP posts:

wannaBe · 30/03/2011 11:00

but who are these people that go on the jeremy kyle show? I ponder this every time I hear mention of it (I refuse to watch it).

How does one decide that instead of relate, you'll go and air your problems on national television?

And why do people watch it? Why is it ok to find the misery of other people entertaining?

RudeEnglishLady · 30/03/2011 11:01

Problem with that Fran, is that there are so many kinds of situations. Example - I don't do hardly anything 'motherly' for my Steps, reason being I live in another country and see them regularly but not often enough to do all the grind. What I do is, take them away and give them 100% attention and what they want to do. I phone them, I send them things in the post when I see stuff they like, I never forget important stuff. I think about them and plan them into our future as part of the family. Does this mean, for all my efforts I do not deserve to be step-mother? Just because I don't iron their school uniforms or whatever?

redfairy · 30/03/2011 11:04

Any suggestions for what us Step-mums should be called then?

marmaladetwatkins · 30/03/2011 11:05

I don't consider that step-parents have to earn their step-parent title. It's not like you have to call them "mum" or "dad". Stepmum/dad IMO is just a technical term. It's your relationship with them that makes the difference, I think.

"And why do people watch it? Why is it ok to find the misery of other people entertaining?"

Oh come on. It's hysterical.

RudeEnglishLady · 30/03/2011 11:05

Okay - just saw that post about not seeing kids for 4 months... Well it is Jeremy Kyle and frankly I wouldn't be taking his guests as social norms or arbeiters of good parenting :)

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