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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to fill out the census against DH's will?

52 replies

butterpieify · 29/03/2011 20:38

I sat down to do the census - filled out the family sections, then me, then I asked DH and he is refusing to answer the questions becasue he "doesn't see how what colour/job/nationality he is is relevant to any one"

Gah. He's been to the pub, so shall we just take it as read that he is being an arse and fill it out for him? Or should I just pretend he doesn't exist? (which seems a bit sad - we are busy fighting the cuts here, and he can't even be arsed to stand up and be counted)

OP posts:
IreneHeron · 29/03/2011 20:39

Just fill it out for him, he's being an arse.

thisisyesterday · 29/03/2011 20:40

yes, i would fill it in for him

HecateTheCrone · 29/03/2011 20:44

well, point out to him that he forfits the right to complain about local services if he refuses to do it and ask him how he plans to raise the thousand pounds he'll be fined without any financial impacting at all on the rest of you.

Original poster
butterpieify · 29/03/2011 20:49

Right. I handed the computer to him, and he filled in the passprt and job bits with "no. Fuck off." and the ethnicity with "mongrel".

I don't know what to do :( I should have known he would be like this, but I'm person one, so is it my job to make sure it gets filled out?

I have no idea what his issue is with just putting the truth.

OP posts:
Original poster
butterpieify · 29/03/2011 20:50

Thing is, he is one for making a massive deal about voting and so on, but he has taken against the census somehow.

OP posts:
Underachieving · 29/03/2011 20:51

Would he be like this sober?

TidyDancer · 29/03/2011 20:52

He sounds very mature!

Fill it in for him and tell him to stop being a tit!

FairyLightsForever · 29/03/2011 20:53

If I were you, I would leave it tonight, and fill it in for him tomorrow when he's not around. If he's going to behave like a child, treat him like one.

BikeRunSki · 29/03/2011 20:53

Just do it, illegal not to, big fine. I don't think any of the answers I gave gave away anything about me that a quick Google/Public records search would nto have shown up anyway.

HecateTheCrone · 29/03/2011 20:54

well, as long as he is happy to pay the fine or go to jail, on his head be it.

He may not like it, many don't. But it is legally required and if he chooses to not fill it in, or to be childish with answers, then he must do that knowing that there are legal consequences to it and he cannot go bleating about it if he has to face them.

mollymole · 29/03/2011 20:55

is he always an arse - fill it on for him

mosschops30 · 29/03/2011 20:57

Does he always behave like this? He sounds like a moody teenager. And who goes out and drinks on a tuesday evening?

sarahtigh · 29/03/2011 20:59

I have some sympathy with your husband, some questions are just nosy your employers name etc its not like just names DOB job and relationship to householder , its the same everywhere you go I work in NHS and they insist on us asking all sorts of irrelevant questions of every patient it takes ages

answering mongrel to ethnicity is about the same as saying jedi is your religion there is no way they can check its the right answer anyway you could say you had PhD spoke fluent gaelic and the conductor of the Halle orchestra they would not know if true

while I filled it in I was certainly tempted to say my 16month DD could read english well and was married but I was accurate but i think we all give way too much information away when it's no ones business and data security is a big risk, I generally tick the prefer not to answer box

thisisyesterday · 29/03/2011 20:59

just do it for him. this doesn't just affect him
you WILL have census collectors round if the form comes back with "fuck off" written on it.

if they come round and YOU are willing to fill it in then they will ask you to do so.
so you might as well just do it for him now

Hulababy · 29/03/2011 21:02

He is being an idiot, and a very immature and tbh, with one of his choice of words - not the f word eithe, offensive too).

Fill it in for him and post it.

There is no information ont he form that is particularly sensitive, nor any information that could not be gathered from other sources anyway. I cannot see why anyone is making any fuss of the census - it is ridiculous tbh.

Original poster
butterpieify · 29/03/2011 21:02

Right, I'm going to fill as much as I can out, and say that he has refused to share his details with the rest of the family. He can deal with it. They will send him a separate form.

He's a twat. He's acting like some kind of right wing nutjob conspiricy theorist and he is meant to be a socialist.

And yes, he is often an arse. He's a stubborn git.

OP posts:
BiscuitNibbler · 29/03/2011 21:06

Surely you can fill it in without any input from him? I certainly filled ours in by myself, there is nothing in the questions that you wouldn't know if you lived with the person.

Original poster
butterpieify · 29/03/2011 21:06

Oh, and the drinking thing - he did his usual thing of saying he was nipping to the shop and came back an hour later. This happens most nights.

I'm actually really annoyed for some reason - I'm here trying to campaign for people to vote and to stop the devestating cuts and for people to realise how deprived it is round here, and he doesn't want to tick a damn box on a form to say he doesn't have a passport or what kind of job he does. I know it would be me having to deal with the fallout, and he doesn't care.

OP posts:
Original poster
butterpieify · 29/03/2011 21:08

I thought I would give him the choice - I suspected he might say he was ethnically Irish or something. I thought I would treat him like an adult.

OP posts:
Mamaz0n · 29/03/2011 21:10

he sounds rather childish.

and as for the drinking whilst claiming to be at the shop....Hmm

Underachieving · 29/03/2011 21:10

In that case, I think you have to let him make his own choices and just let go of any sense of responsibility for him.

Original poster
butterpieify · 29/03/2011 21:10

He is refusing now to let me fill it out for him. I don't know how he thinks this could lead to anything happening - it is hardly about to bring the revolution. It would just be another bill we can't pay.

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 29/03/2011 21:12

what a tit

do you often have to "manage" such stupidity in a grown man ?

thisisyesterday · 29/03/2011 21:13

just don't tell him you're doing it.

you must know everything about him anyway? well, the stuff on the census anyway

AuntiePickleBottom · 29/03/2011 21:16

help.census.gov.uk/wales/help/A-Z.do;jsessionid=B12EE36FE5DC08C06E7F5364F3B6DF17?keyword=privacy

just fill out the form and tick the privacy box

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