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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

just been rude to someone for trying to touch my baby....

126 replies

Romilly70 · 27/03/2011 13:35

Just come back from a gathering of expats we know mainly as acquaintances. Took along DS 5 months and one particularly lady wanted to hold him as soon as we walked through the door. Each time i have seen her she acts as it is her right to hold DS just cos he is a baby...

(I know I am not keen on her as she oversteps the boundary I feel comfortable with.)

later on i was changing DS in another room and I could see her out of the window having a fag, then when she came in started stroking some dogs. saw DS and made a beeline for him. said to me oh he's gorgeous, i said thank you very much. then she reached out to touch his hand. (DS constantly has his fingers in his mouth as is teething) I pushed her hand away before she could grab DS's and I said would you mind washing your hands as there is a real problem with toxoplasmosis here (there is in France).

That was partly an excuse, and I know i am going to be flamed for being all PFB about DS. I just really hate passing DS round like a parcel. Ironically he is a very friendly chap, cos on the whole i do let lots of people hold him, but the crux of it, i hate people completely ignoring me and practically trying to grab DS.

Now I feel bad for being rude to her, but why do people go so mental over new babies?

anyway, rant over.....

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 27/03/2011 14:56

it's not just cooing over the baby though, is it? it's wanting to hold him etc.

and 5m is still to young to have a well-developed immune system. I wouldn't have let DS go crawling around anywhere that dogs had been at that age, outside or in. We don't have them so no issue in our garden.

I am far from a "hygiene fascist" but I really don't like fag smoke or the risk of toxoplasmosis.

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 27/03/2011 14:56

but toxo whatsername is in dog poo, cat poo and other things so anyone garden could have it in it. foxes, badgers anyone?

and having one fag and then breathing thet carbon mpnoxide that you produce for the next 20 mins is not going to kill any baby.

I really do think that society has gone mad with the cleanliness that is demanded

'gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die'

and also your immune systems feeds on meeting shit that it has to fight.

thumbwitch · 27/03/2011 14:57

cat and dog poo, actually.

worraliberty · 27/03/2011 14:58

Genuinely I think you need to get over yourself OP.

Big deal the person touched a dog..wait til your child is crawling and finding all sorts of things to put in its mouth.

I suppose you could always join the mass anti germ hysteria and carry sterile wipes wherever you go (that's if you haven't already)

BooyHoo · 27/03/2011 14:58

OP all those people you are happy to pass your ds around to, do you know for sure they weren't scratching their arse/picking their nose/weeding the garden etc before you passed him over? did you make them all wash tehir hands before touching him (at 5 months i mean, i know most do that anyway with newborns but not so concerned at 5 months)

thumbwitch · 27/03/2011 14:58

it does, trin - but it can wait a bit before it needs to meet some stuff!

Fag smoke on your baby if you don't smoke yourself is not nice.

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 27/03/2011 15:00

no its not nice but you dont need to be mean to people
and I did say dog poo..

Georgimama · 27/03/2011 15:02

But the woman was stroking a dog, not expressing its anal gland. Even if there is toxoplasmosis in dog faeces, why on earth should stroking a dog then touching a baby's hand expose the baby to it?

You were rude. Really, really rude.

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 27/03/2011 15:04

yes. really really rude, thats what I think, thankyou georgimama

thumbwitch · 27/03/2011 15:04

yes you did, this is a very fast moving thread and I crossposted with you on that point - i was referring to the previous poster who had said it was only cat poo faeces.

thumbwitch · 27/03/2011 15:05

Because georgimama dogs like to roll in shit. So it could be on their fur. It's not uncommon! My friend's lab had a real thing for it, especially foxshit.

worraliberty · 27/03/2011 15:07

Do you really think the woman would have stoked a shit covered dog?

southeastastra · 27/03/2011 15:07

the woman will probably not bother cooing over a new baby anymore and as i said on another similar thread i don't coo over new babies anymore - mothers are alot more neurotic these days for some reason.

glad you feel rude for being nasty to her

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 27/03/2011 15:08

but how anxious must people be trying to ensure that everyone has washed their hands after touching a dog and before touching their child

so if my family came to see you would we all have to wash our hands because you haven't seen us do it so you dont know and we own a dog

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 27/03/2011 15:09

true worraliberty

scuzy · 27/03/2011 15:10

unless your going to watch your child 24/7 they are going to put worse things in their mouth, lick the floor, touch handles on toilet doors, toilet seats, eat food off the floor that people walk on with shoes that have been god knows where. i think you were rude, very rude and will make your child completely ocd about germs if you continue. germs are good and build a childs immune system ... not telling you tell them lick a dog's arse but for god sake child is 5 months old!!!

ah i dunno ... some people .... i feel sorry for the woman. must have felt sooo embarrassed!

thumbwitch · 27/03/2011 15:13

well as a non-dog owner I would always wash my hands after touching any dog.
Worraliberty - it wouldn't have to still be there, it could have worn off but the bugs could still be in the fur. Most dogs aren't particularly clean animals at the best of times.

Look, maybe I am neurotic over dogs and toxoplasmosis (and cats for that matter) but it is common sense for me to wash your hands after touching one of them before going to a relatively young baby and touching its hands.

I have, however, agreed that the OP was rude.

Skinit · 27/03/2011 15:14

Yanbu...your baby is yours to protect so what you say goes.

Nancy66 · 27/03/2011 15:15

Your kid will be eating dirt in a couple of months. You were rude and twatish

Punkatheart · 27/03/2011 15:16

More common in cats but when in dogs it does make them ill. Cats can sometimes show no symptoms. But also in raw meat etc etc - so if someone had been working with meat. You can go on and on...

But I do understand the need to protect, the fear of what strangers might bring.

Remember - you are sensitive enough OP to ask if it was wrong - that makes you a thoughtful person.

nethunsreject · 27/03/2011 15:16

I don't like strangers touching my baby. He is a person, not a thing. I've been like this with both of them. I think it is rude to prod at them unless invited to hold or cuddle them.

nethunsreject · 27/03/2011 15:17

Oh, and for me it is not the germ issue at all. I just think it is rude to touch another person without being invited.

TattyDevine · 27/03/2011 15:20

Yep you were rude.

But I think you know that. Its easy to get flummoxed and sound curt and short when you are genuinely nervous.

I was the opposite, anyone who wanted to touch my babies or better still take them off my hands was a friend indeed! Dogs, fags or otherwise. Oh look. That lady's dog is licking my son's face clean. Ah well. Anyone for tennis?

youcangetpregnantstandingup · 27/03/2011 15:23

yanbu, I used to hate people holding any of mine for various reasons, if they'd been smoking and if the baby was crying and upset. FIL was awful and would actually just take youngest dd, start prising her out of my arms without even asking, and wouldn't give her back even if she was bawling, DH always had to tell him to.He also smoked.

Another time I went to a friends' house and her DH who I hardly knew took dd and said "Let me give you a tour of the house youcangetpregnantstandingupsbaby" and disappeared off with her. I feel your pain.

hocuspontas · 27/03/2011 15:24

lol! I hope you washed your hands and anti-bac'd them extra well! God knows what you could have picked up by pushing her hand away.

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