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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I should have been given a woman?

115 replies

Deliainthemaking · 24/03/2011 16:35

I have physio for my joints and went to a new clinic to start a newcourse of physio. was told to bring shorts and expecting to go to like a hall its all behind curtains like on a ward? but a bit more space and a little bed.

I was told to get dressed into my shorts by the nurse and told to wait for my physio instructor, expecting a woman ..in came this beefy bloke looked like MR motivator bless him

I was a bit in my shorts and fat legs

but I thought meh, physio not usually intrusive...wrong!

I had to lie down on bed usual stuff like feeling knees, but stretching my legs inwards he had to push down on back of my legs and his head was pretty close to erm...a certain area. Pushing my legs as far over my head as I could get them

I had to touch my toes , and had to keep touching the back of my legs to see tonage / hamstring stuff
I just felt self concious, seemed like a nice bloke but would it have been more appropriate for a woman to be doing this?

Or am I BU

OP posts:

BooyHoo · 24/03/2011 17:27

"
To him im just another pair of joints but in health care that can be invasive It would have been nicer to have a woman,"

what like invasive surgery like a caesarean section? should all sections be automatically carried out by female surgeons? that might put a bit of pressure on services. i would imagine electives would be totally out the window if that was the case. there wouldn't be enough surgeouns or time.

VajazzHands · 24/03/2011 17:30

YANBU for feeling uncomfortable.

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 17:36

I only opened this thread to see under what circumstances one might be given a woman.

ecobatty · 24/03/2011 17:40

I once had a full body sports massage with a male masseur. He started out talking in quite a high-pitched voice, and tbh coming across as slightly camp. Then as we talked and he became aware that I couldn't care less that he was a man his voice became normal and he mentioned his gf.

Apparently some women prefer to think their massage therapist is gay .

Myself, I just don't get the deal. To me, there is sexual and non-sexual touching. I am comfortable with non-sexual touching from men or women. I am uncomfortable with sexual touching from anyone who is not dh.

Simple really.

NadiaWadia · 24/03/2011 17:46

BeersTricks - no it is not a pisstake its what I feel to be true about SOME males in this area of medicine, and SOME therapists. Cases of assault have been proven in caught, so let's not pretend it never happens, OK?

I'm not saying gynaecologists want to 'cop a feel', more they like knowing more about how womens bodies work than they do themselves, IYKWIM?
Still think it is a little odd for a man to want to be a gynaecologist. My father knew a bloke who was one, and this friend used to say how he was 'sick of staring at * fannies all day long'. Very respectful of womankind!

NadiaWadia · 24/03/2011 17:46

proven in court, even

BooyHoo · 24/03/2011 17:51

"Still think it is a little odd for a man to want to be a gynaecologist."

i think you're a little odd. why on earth is it any stranger than a man wanting to be a deep sea diver? he was not born in the sea, he has no gils yet he has an interest in diving. is that odd or is it just natural for different people to have different interests without there being some sinister motive?

also, would you have a problem with a lesbian gynaecologist?

kat2504 · 24/03/2011 17:56

What if you had a female physio and she happened to be a lesbian? Statistically about a one in ten probability.
I can understand a bit about feeling uncomfortable, I had a massage by a man once, I wasn't expecting it to be a man and I didn't relax the same. However, that is due to my mind linking man massaging me with probability of sex as I like that beforehand! Not because I thought the man was in any way being inappropriate.He was not being in any way sexual. I wouldn't go for it again but a massage therapist is something I can choose myself, it's not quite the same with the health service.
I can't think of anything worse than being a male gynaecologist. I mean, people only visit them if they have something wrong down there! so looking at poorly fannies all day long can't really be that tittivating!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 24/03/2011 17:56

Meh I can kind of see where you are coming from but I constantly have to prance around in just my knickers, bending over and stretching and what not and having my photo's taken. I dont think Ive ever seen a female doctor/consultant and usually the crowd of student docs are all male aswell. It has never occured to me to be embarrassed I like to think they are not interested in my breasts/arse!

I hope your physio works well and you feel better soon.

NurseSunshine · 24/03/2011 18:00

Me too, courseyoucanmalcolm

OP YABU, there is a shortage of physios, you were lucky to get one at all.
Do you think the physio was turned on by stretching your legs and may be unable to contain himself in future sessions?
Why would you prefer a woman? Would you prefer a woman even if she were gay?

Have you considered that this man may have been a professional and actually seen no correlation between your legs, attractive as they must be, his own sexual gratification?

foxtrottango · 24/03/2011 18:03

I went to the physio this morning and after manipulating me he used an ultrasound on my lower back for 20 minutes. The whole time he was using the ultrasound he was resting his arm on my bum!! At first I thought it was a bit odd but given our positioning and the fact that my arse was probably the biggest, softest, comfiest thing in the room he couldnt really help it.

It doesnt bother me but it does make me chuckle at some of the banal things he talks about as hes folding me over. The worst bit is at the end when he wipes the ultrasound gel off my back with a paper towel. It has to be done but somehow that feels like the most intimate part of it!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 24/03/2011 18:03

I wish I had previewed my last post... It makes me sound like some sort of soft porn model... I'm not. I promise. All prancing about naked has only ever happened in hospitals or my bedroom!

SauvignonBlanche · 24/03/2011 18:03

YABVU and insulting.

ziva · 24/03/2011 18:04

gosh imagine if you were working in a bank.and there you were just doing your job when your next customer comes up (a man) and says no thank you i'd rather a man serve me.

im sorry but what a sexist post.and so what if a man wants to be a gynae.the female reproductive system is a fascinating thing,from a biological point of view.

NadiaWadia · 24/03/2011 18:06

Boohyoo - a lesbian gynaecologist? No I don't think that would bother me, for a start you probably wouldn't be aware she was gay, and anyway the main thing is she has the same bits that we do!

Your analogy with the deep sea diver doesn't really hold up. I can imagine a young boy dreaming of discovering the ocean, but not of growing up to stare at vaginas all day.

I would also think it weird for a woman for specialise in mens' 'bits' whatever that branch of medicine is called.

SauvignonBlanche · 24/03/2011 18:08

Grow up Nadia!

NadiaWadia · 24/03/2011 18:11

Oh do fuck off. A lot of women feel the same way.

ziva · 24/03/2011 18:12

so there we go.only those who have children,can mind children.only those who have given birth can become midwives/obs.etc etc

Thornykate · 24/03/2011 18:13

Nope yanbu.

upahill · 24/03/2011 18:14

Well thank god a lot of men did train to be 'gynies'

They have helped save the lives of countless thousands of women!!

NadiaWadia · 24/03/2011 18:14

there's no need to leap to that conclusion. I just think women SHOULD be the leaders in gynae/obs field. And if we had a truly equal society, they woulld be.

MmeLindt · 24/03/2011 18:15

I also opened the thread to see why the OP was hoping to be given a woman.

OP
YANBU to be uncomfortable with a male therapist, but YABU in not requesting to see a woman if that is your preference.

As to the gynaes are pervs discussion - that is just ridiculous.

BooyHoo · 24/03/2011 18:16

"a lesbian gynaecologist? No I don't think that would bother me, for a start you probably wouldn't be aware she was gay, and anyway the main thing is she has the same bits that we do!"

well you probably wouldn't know if a male gynaecologist was straight unless he told you would you? for all you know he could be fantasising about johnny depp while examining you.

and the fact that malegynaecologists study and qualify in their chosen field means nothing because they dont have a vagina does it?

MmeLindt · 24/03/2011 18:17

How could it be equal if women were the leaders, and men were discouraged from training to be gynaes?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 24/03/2011 18:19

I had a male (student) midwife with me delivering dd3. tbh once I got over myself he was absolutely fab.

I think a large part of it was your expectation that the physio would be a woman, if you allow him to do his job properly you may find he is able to help you regardless of his gender.

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