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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider moving my baby into his nursery?

83 replies

stdorothymantooth · 24/03/2011 12:50

Put this in parenting but didn't get any luck, any help appreciated. I have an 8 week old son who currently sleeps in a Moses basket in our room, only problem is ay night he wakes very easily due to noise, such as when my husband and I turn over in bed we have an old metal framed bed and when it creaks he wakes, starts frying and wants to be comforted if (just occasionally thank god) my husband let's out a loud snore, again the baby wakes and wants to be comforted.
The baby is overtired a lot in the day due to lack of sleep at night (luckily can now get him down for naps) and I am exhausted from constantly waking.
It's too early to try him in his nursery with a monitor though isn't it?

OP posts:
ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 25/03/2011 07:31

TBH I wouldn't take the risk. The benefits of the baby being in the same room as you are (as others have said) thought to be more about the baby physically benefitting from sleeping in the same room as others (to do with breathing etc) not that you can see/hear them, so a monitor (even a two way) doesn't help.

It's a pain in the bum sometimes (waking/space) but I couldn't live with myself if anything happened so I would wait until at least 6 months and hope he soon gets used to the noises and sleeps through them. Ummm there's no harm in making the most of the other rooms in the house to prevent excessive squeaking of the bed Grin

controlpantsandgladrags · 25/03/2011 07:36

We put DD1 in her own room at 12 weeks, and DD2 at 8 weeks. I bought a monitor with a movement sensor which goes under the mattress.........they detect breathing movement and an alarm sounds if baby doesn't breathe for a couple of seconds. We had the Angelcare one but I think there are quite a few on the market.

Our reason for moving them was that they were (and still are) noisy, restless sleepers and I was an exhausted wreck because they would keep me awake all night Smile

octopusinabox · 25/03/2011 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bucharest · 25/03/2011 07:47

If they are dead, they won't be making any noise, will they?
Sorry to be so blunt, but the selfishness of some parents who put their own nights rest over the potential wellbeing of their child beggars belief.
The angelcare things trip all night long as well (according to a friend who had one and said never again) You end up getting up more times than ever just to check.

ilovesprouts · 25/03/2011 07:53

i would not ,its too young

HollyGoHeavily · 25/03/2011 08:00

I think 8 weeks is too young to move a baby into their own room. They need to hear you breathing and moving around - read the SIDS guidelines before you make a decision.

I think you need to look at how to stop the bed creaking - bit of oil or some packing around the offending joints maybe??

shmoz · 25/03/2011 08:02

My DS (4mo) is in his cot next to my bed - ebf so find it easier in the night rather than going to next room.

Also, the guidelines do say 6 months - why risk it?

I must be paranoid as I've also got the angelcare sound/movement monitor, but I figured that by the time I woke up and found he hadn't been breathing all night it would be too late - btw the movement alarm has only gone off once, I've never moved so bloody fast in my whole life. Frightened the crap out of me - but there he was safe and sound (thank christ) scooched right up into the corner of the cot.

Chil1234 · 25/03/2011 08:04

YANBU... assuming you don't live in a mediaeval castle with foot-thick walls or that the baby's nursery will be in the 'East Wing' then his sleeping position in his nursery will probably be just a few metres from where it is now. Trust your own judgement.

applecakesarenice · 25/03/2011 08:08

The peak time for cot death is between 2 -4 months and then drops off significantly with another big drop after 6 months so I'd try to keep baby with you until at least 4 months if you can't manage 6. Babies are far more likely to be found dead in bed sharing situations where the parents have been smoking, drinking or taking drugs or sleeping with a parent on the sofa than they are in cots.

Meglet · 25/03/2011 08:12

I did. Partly because xp smoked and the air circulation in our room wasn't great, and I didn't want the dc's breathing in what he had breathed out. And partly because I can't sleep through anything, even baby snuffles, so mine were moved at 8 weeks. It meant their cots were 10 steps away from my bed, I could still hear DS sucking his thumb but it gave me a chance to rest.

FWIW I did check them all the time and we didn't use a monitor as they were still so close, doors open etc. At the time I was always worrying about cot death but it seemed like the best option at the time.

They were both in gro-bags, the nursery was cool and well ventiliated, doors open, no cot bumpers or toys in the cot. Not as good as having them in the same room but I did what I could to make it feel safer.

It's your call really.

Honeybee79 · 25/03/2011 08:15

I would. And I did.

We read the guidelines on SIDS, weighed up the risks and made the choice.

Your call - just make sure it's an informed decision.

catzcream · 25/03/2011 08:16

OP - I will no doubt get flamed for this post, but I moved both DC's into their own nurseries when they were 3/4 weeks old. I knew the recommendations and made the decision based on the fact that I was getting no sleep whatsoever. I decided that a sleep deprived zombie parent was a far bigger risk for my own sanity and their wellbeing.

I only came across this product recently, but if it had been available when my DC's were babies, I would have bought it. I know it is no replacement for a parent being next to a baby, but if you decide to do this, maybe it will give you some piece of mind?

www.respisense.co.uk/index.html

llareggub · 25/03/2011 08:21

I wouldn't. In fact it is pretty much the only thing a parenting-wise that I fee strongly about. I speak as someone who has a 2 year old who is yet to sleep all night, so I do understand the lack of sleep thing. I can also tell you that we haves tried everything to solve DS 2's sleep but nothing has worked yet. You may just have to wait it out.

walklikeapenguin · 25/03/2011 08:45

I know it's not the point but why is everyone calling it a "nursery"? I always think it sounds really pretentious.

A friend was telling me that her 4 week old baby was going into the nursery and I said "oh, are you going back to work now?"

It took a good couple of minutes before I realised she was actually talking about a BEDROOM!

Cher87 · 25/03/2011 08:49

I know someone who put her DD in her own room from day 1! I think you shoud do what ever is best for you! My DS was in with my untill 3 months.

valiumredhead · 25/03/2011 08:50

I would and did. Much younger than your ds too!

MrsGangly · 25/03/2011 09:06

I wouldn't and didn't. He's just gone into his own room at 7.5 months.

Olivetti · 25/03/2011 09:08

My little girl went in at about 6 weeks. She couldn't seem to settle with us, and I just thought she would be more comfortable in her own room. Sure enough, she started sleeping through from 6 weeks (until the recent 4 month sleep regression, but that's another story). I got flamed on here, but there you go. I brought her in with us the nights after she had her jabs, in case she felt poorly, and she wouldn't settle at all, until...I moved her back into her own room.

valiumredhead · 25/03/2011 09:08

Cher that somebody would be me!

KD0706 · 25/03/2011 09:34

I think you just need to do the research yourself and make a decision based on what you think is right for your family. At the end of the day it's you who has to live with it.

My DD was two months prem so we kept her in with us till she was eight months old. Moving her into her own room made zero difference to her sleep and I spent most of the night staring obsessively at the baby monitor.

My feeling always was that if (god forbid) she had died from cot death in her own room 'too early' then I would not have been able to live with that.

I do have a friend who is a wonderful mum who put her DD in her own room at about two weeks for similar reasons to yours. Her DD is fine and she thought about the risk and was happy to take it.

Parenting is all about deciding what risks to take, and balancing various factors. I think you just have to muddle through and do what you think is right.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 25/03/2011 09:41

Just remeber that anecdote does not equal data.

It's great that they are so many 'mine were ok' stories, but then again, a lot of those who have babies that weren't OK might not be posting on a parenting site and even if they are, they might avoid these threads :(

I agree, it's your baby and your decision. I just think you need to read actual research to decide and not take too much notice of what others would do or have done as it is you who has to deal with the outcome of your decision.

Bucharest · 25/03/2011 10:14

Cher, what would have been best for me would have been not to bother breastfeeding or changing nappies at all.
Should I have gone ahead?

I was also put in my own room at 7 days old and had rusks squashed into my formula at 8 days old. Both those things might not have featured in existant guidelines then, but then, once upon a time, we believed the world was flat and "there be dragons". We have moved on.

I came out of it OK. My Mum's cousin lost two children to SIDS in the 1970s. Who knows what might have happened if there had been guidelines around then. We can never know, but we do now.

Chil1234 · 25/03/2011 10:28

SIDS affects just 300 babies out of the hundreds of thousands born each year. Those most at risk are the ones with low birth-weights and certain underlying/congenital health problems. Next highest attributable risk is living in a smoking household. In most of the fatalities, however, no actual cause of death is ever established and, in the absence of causation, all the health experts can do is try to find correlations which might reduce what is already an extremely tiny risk... in reality, they don't actually know.

Bucharest · 25/03/2011 11:22

That's a lot less than it used to be before the 6mth in same bedroom as mother guideline was introduced though, isn't it?

BaggedandTagged · 25/03/2011 11:26

To those who say "why risk it" do you ever leave the house unnecessarily? If so, you are leaving your baby open to possibly being hit by a bus/car/rogue elephant. Even though this is very unlikely, you;re still taking an unnecessary risk.

Don't leave the house ever. You are increasing the chance that your child could DIE