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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to rant about the stupidity of my dp?

110 replies

Rosedee · 24/03/2011 08:34

So dp getting ready for work. I go into bathroom and ds is with dp. Dp ready to leave so I say please put ds in his cot with a few toys til I have finished in bathroom. Here's the dilemma, I had stripped the cot and put the mattress on one end to air a bit and was planning on re making shortly.
So when I ask dp to put ds in cot he is faced with this and has to ask me what to do as "there is no mattress" aaargh!!
How bloody hard is it to lay a mattress back down? It's not like I asked him to make it up again (which also stumped him once as he couldn't work out how to put a fitted cot sheet back on ffs)
Does anyone elses dp lack an ounce of common sense or is it just mine?

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 12:35

Hereforlife · 25/03/2011 12:37

Charming.
Fuck off right back at you.

I don't think seething on a website is healthy venting.

What does it change?

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 12:39

oh Hereforlife, do tell, what would you do then? Hmm?
Oh wait, you don't have to do anything because you don't have these problems do you. So it's not really your area of "expertise", is it.

SecretNutellaFix · 25/03/2011 12:40

it decreases the likelihood of plates being flung at his head. or knives.

That is what it achieves.

So, what does your partner do around the house? Just out of interest as he is obviously so great?

Original poster

Rosedee · 25/03/2011 12:42

And we are not saying they are crap at housework hereforlife we are saying they are lazy and pretend to be crap. We're not buying the I'm crap story! Jeez. We're all enjoying a good old bitchfest moan and I think to say all the men are Crap is a bit shit of you. He's not crap! Just lazy sometimes. (I'm not going to list his good points to prove my point but I wouldn't be with him if the only thing that defined him was shitness at housework would I?)

OP posts:

Original poster

Rosedee · 25/03/2011 12:46

And I think seething is a bit strong, it's like having a girly gossip and a moan about the bloke. Better to do it here than nag at him more surely? If u don't think it's healthy then leave the thread. Quite frankly I'm enjoying myself hearing stories of equally pants dp's

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 12:48

I never used to believe in the value of group therapy until I joined MN - but Rosedee, you are right - it does make you feel better to realise you are not alone in these trials and tribulations! And to share them, so that sometimes you can say "well thank God my DH doesn't do that, even if he does do 10 other equally annoying things"

Hereforlife · 25/03/2011 12:49

It's just me and the DC now.

My ex was the other way, over the top with cleanliness, tidiness and housework.

So I'm the only adult here and can't see me compromising again, so it'll stay that way.

whatsallthehullaballoo · 25/03/2011 12:53

Exactly - if we were not 'permitted' to use this forum to vent I have a strong suspicion it would be empty. Plus the fact - some of the stories are quite funny.
The majority of women I know ( and I know alot) have very similar problems...although my husband definitely seems to be far more accomplished in his career of 'can't be buggered so I will leave it to the wife...'.

Original poster

Rosedee · 25/03/2011 12:54

Fair play to you hereforlife, if only I'd known dp's housework skills before I fell in love at least he can cook, one thing I am grateful for.

OP posts:

Nesbo · 25/03/2011 12:54

It's all part of the "fun" of living with someone. My DW can't wash up without leaving bits of food stuck to pans, will call for me the minute there is a problem with the boiler as apparently only I can read the instruction manual and prod at buttons (same with computer problems as apparently only I can Google an answer), has a complete blind spot for leaving lights on everywhere when we leave the house or fails to notice the surfaces that get covered in her crap! I'm sure she has a list about me but we muddle along somehow (cursing under our breath sometimes).

Hereforlife · 25/03/2011 12:58

I just think things like this left unresolved can fester.

So when other issues arise, as they often can, there's so much resentment that relationships can become unfixable.

Maybe I've had a sense of humour bypass today but I don't think an adult male not being able to use a washing machine etc is funny, it's just pathetic.

Original poster

Rosedee · 25/03/2011 12:59

Lol at nesbo. You don't need to google computer problems. Just switch it off and switch it back on again. Works for everything. Dp always tells me to do this if something is "broken"

OP posts:

PotatoesOfTheCarribean · 25/03/2011 13:03

peers at Nesbo...

You sound awfully like my DH

Nesbo · 25/03/2011 13:04

Rosedee, after Googling that is what I do. Am happy to take full credit when it works again due to my advanced IT knowledge.

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 13:12

Hereforlife - of COURSE it's pathetic. That's what we're complaining about. We are not sitting here, fondly going "aw bless, he's so daft, he can't even turn on the washing machine, bless him" - we're fucking livid that not only can he not turn the fecking machine on, but despite several warnings/threats/demonstrations, he still fucking refuses to even try!!

Can you not see that? We are NOT condoning this behaviour! We are trying to change it and looking for support and ways that we haven't tried yet to FIX things. So we don't need smuggers coming along having failed to appreciate the purpose of this thread.

You might have had a sense of humour failure but you're fucking winding me up, I can tell you.

PotatoesOfTheCarribean · 25/03/2011 13:14

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 13:15

so necessary, thank you!

IAMGOINGTOBEGOOD · 25/03/2011 13:17

I wouldn't mind the lack of domestic skill if mine could do "mans work".
But no, I do the lawns, DIY, car stuff, minor repairs etc etc.
He does wash the dishes but still cant remember where anything lives after 10 years.
My Man WORKS!!
The latest is that he has to lie in saturday and sunday as work is so stressful and he couldn't cope other wise.
Being at home with teething baby and arguing siblings not as hard but he can't do it for more than an hour.
Seems to be a trend - my DH is a IT specialist.
Just as well he earns enough for me to pay for help - his suggestion if I complain. Otherwise divorce here we come.

Original poster

Rosedee · 25/03/2011 13:19

Oh and for anyone who is interested. Dp is supposed to empty all bins and rubbish bags. Carrier bag of dirty nappies has been sitting at top of stairs for 2 days, his pile of unironed shirts is lying on top of armchair and a pile of dirty clothes is slowly growing on floor. I am not doing it. He will be handed the Hoover tomorrow morning while I clean and if the kitchen bin overflows I'm not cleaning up.
I'm standing firm

OP posts:

PotatoesOfTheCarribean · 25/03/2011 13:20

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 13:21

Good for you Rosedee!

Original poster

Rosedee · 25/03/2011 13:23

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 13:29

Am still very impressed with SecretNutella's stamina in her efforts with her DH and the washing up - I just know I would have had real trouble doing that. Mind you, I don't think DH would have hung out that long - he doesn't like paper plates. They cost money and it's wasteful to throw them out.

MrsH75 · 25/03/2011 13:36

I can't complain much but DH has done things like get clothes out of the "too small" pile I thought I had hidden away instead of get them out of a drawer, and sent her to the childminders wearing a top that was half way up her belly.

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