Aibu to rant about the stupidity of my dp?

[Rosedee]

So dp getting ready for work. I go into bathroom and ds is with dp. Dp ready to leave so I say please put ds in his cot with a few toys til I have finished in bathroom. Here's the dilemma, I had stripped the cot and put the mattress on one end to air a bit and was planning on re making shortly.
So when I ask dp to put ds in cot he is faced with this and has to ask me what to do as "there is no mattress" aaargh!!
How bloody hard is it to lay a mattress back down? It's not like I asked him to make it up again (which also stumped him once as he couldn't work out how to put a fitted cot sheet back on ffs)
Does anyone elses dp lack an ounce of common sense or is it just mine?

Not sure that's quite the same as not being able to find something/tidy up after yourself Jeff.........

I know I shouldn't complain about a DH who is willing to unload a dishwasher but does anyone else's put away the easy things like plates and cutlery but put things like plastic pots and lids on the sink drainer for you to match up and put away? It drives me mad! I make a point of running a bowl of water to wash up bits that can't be dishwashed and then ask him if he would mind putting away the things on the drainer to make some room for me. He ALWAYS gets really grumpy about then!

Mine will also walk past his socks left in the middle of the bathroom floor for a whole week. I know because I left them once to see. I tidied everything else as normal but left the socks. After a week I gave up and put them in the laundry myself

DH will stand at the opposite end of the room, hold up an item of children's clothing and ask me if it's clean....

How can you lay a cot mattress down the wrong way hereforlife? if the blokes to scared to help out in the house or use his brain in case I criticise him then quite frankly he needs to man up.

Ha ha shockers, dp asks me if his clothes are clean that he's just pulled out of his wardrobe!

OMG Al1son I can't believe there is another man who does that! It drives me bananas! All our plastic containers have the same, interchangeable lids, they all stack inside one another, and they all go in the same cupboard, but he still leaves them all lying on the breakfast bar for me to put away. WHY?!

My DH is allergic to putting anything in or emptying the dishwasher. It is the funniest thing and it drives me crazy. He puts it on the side and will leave the clean dishes in there forever (I was away for 4 days and the dishwasher still wasn't empty by the time I came back!).

I think some people just don't get running a house and my darling DH is one of them. Thank goodness he makes up for it in other areas.

Actually Jeff - I do all those things too - pay one of my husbands mates to do it. So there

You have my sincere apology, whatsallthe

I too am a bit at your DPs / DHs slacking off.

Blokes are sometimes a bit better if you give them a specific job to do. Can I suggest making the dishwasher or changing the beds (or some other discrete task) their sole responsibility? And once agreed, just remind them but never, ever do it for them unless they are actually dead or handcuffed to the bed? They will soon become experts

...but sadly we will never be able to find anything, its just genetic

yy same here to the "is this clean?"

Look at it and see !!!!!!!

My DH is great at washing up, loading and emptying dishwasher, bathing ds and putting him to bed, bins, recycling, fixing things, brilliant at DIY, anything to do with the cars.

But he never cooks, can't ever find anything, never brushes ds's teeth, never cleans the table or worktops.

I suppose we sort of fall into the roles that we set for ourselves.

I'm trying to 'teach' my DH how to give DD a bath. He's perfectly able to do it - he's great with her, but I think he just lacks confidence. So tonight, I fill baby bath and ask him to get her undressed. He takes off her top and dungereess and then stands there holding her at arms length saying 'now what?'
Erm.... take her nappy off maybe??? Put her in water.....

Any I swear he will never be able to put something in recycling without shouting out 'What colour box?' first. He does it for EVERY item.

This is a man who can read a computer text book in an evening, take it all in and put it into practice at work the next day.

Like I said in my earlier post, intelligent but dumb at the same time!

but is it dumbness? Or is it some cunningly devious plan to get them out of the mundane tasks of life so they can devote their brains to "higher things", because of course they can't do more than one thing at once, can they...

jeffTracy

• unblocking U-bends - can do that (and have)
• putting up a shelf - can do that (and have) ok, I probably wouldn't lay a concrete path by myself willingly but I could if I had to.

DH (thankfully!) doesn't ask me if his clothes are clean. He just wears them regardless, sometimes to a point of extreme mingingness because he doesn't care whether or not they're clean (if I notice, either by stains or smell, then they get taken off him of course). I just showed him the collar of one of his work shirts and asked him how many days in a row he had worn it? It didn't come clean, despite intensive pre-soak. Argh! Teenager....

I think the cunningly devious plan is probably correct except that I'm determined that it won't work any more in my house.

Oh and I've done the unblocking u-bends and the shelving quite regularly. I haven't so far laid a concrete path but then nor has DH and I'm the only person in our house willing to try their hand at bricklaying or plastering so put that in your pipe and smoke it Jeff

I hate to make great, huge, gender-wide judgements about things but I can't help but think how smoothly many men sail through life cluttering their brains only with detritus of their own choice.

Even some of the most allegedly helpful of them.

completly utterly agree with you whatsallthehullaballoo!! my D.P is EXACTLY the same!!!! i pick up after him more than i do the kids, and dread the state of the house when i come back home!!!! i find patronising notes tend to work though :)

I am at this thread..

Do you all have very specific ways of doing things in your house that your DP/DH has to learn or something? I get not being able to find things (apparently this really is a bloke thing) but I never pick up after DP.. he's perfectly bloody capable of doing anything in the house that I am, and vice-versa.

Sounds like half of the blokes referred to here are just terrified of getting it wrong..

well sounds like you don't know what you're talking about then Potatoes.

Speaking for myself, since that is the only situation I can be sure of - DH can pick stuff up any way he bloody well pleases if he would only fucking do it! He just doesn't. He doesn't "see" it.

There is no "terrified of getting it wrong" - there is far too much "can't be arsed, that's what YOU're here for isn't it, woman?"

God, these sanctimonious types get on my nerves.

What thumbwitch said!'dp said to me only this morning, I can't Hoover I just can't do it properly. Erm excuse me are you agrown up? Then how bloody hard is it? It's excuse after excuse and sweet fa to do withbeing scared of doing t wrong. Sheer bloody laziness.

Stop doing chores for him!!!!!!!!!!!

Do your own and dss laundry, cooking, cleaning etc and leave dp to look after himself. He is acting like a child and you are letting him %et away with itn

Also you really really need to read the book wifework.

potatoes how could he get putting socks in the laundry wrong?

I agree with Rosedee

Nowadays with my DH, I just tell him what needs doing, and then expect compliance and walk away. For example "Right, if you could bath DS then, I'll load the dishwasher. Thanks". If I left it up to him he wouldn't do anything housework-wise or for/woth the children, but I won't stand for that and regularly point out what needs to be done.

DH had a row with me this evening. I suddenly realised that, despite us taking turns with washing up, cooking etc. he never ever puts the washing up away. He'll empty the dishwasher ok, so he knows where stuff lives - but the drainer on the sink he never empties. So I asked him to do it. He put half of it away, then walked off - I called him back and he had a fucking teen temper tantrum! Flicking stuff around going "I don't fucking know where this shit goes" (rubbish) and then told me to fuck off, it's not like I do anything all day etc. etc.

Life is such fun sometimes.

I didn't say someone could put socks in the laundry incorrectly FGS, and thumbwitch, I am not santimonious thanks very much.

"'dp said to me only this morning, I can't Hoover I just can't do it properly"

so what happens after that, do you leave him to it or do you hoover yourself?

agree thumbwitch!!!! mine claims he hasnt had clean socks for three weeks (this is untrue)however the washing machine is jammed and awaiting repair, so his dam socks are clean and drying at my mothers house, aside from this, if he claims there no clean socks, why doesnt he fucking wash them!!!!!