To speak to the practice manager about this nurse?

[everybodysang]

I genuinely want to know if IABU or if I'm feeling a bit oversensitive because I'm tired and a bit sad (my grandad died yesterday). I just called my GP surgery and the practice manager is away on holiday till Monday so I've got a bit of time to decide if I want to do something or not.

So, I took my 12 week old baby for her second set of jabs this morning. The nurse is an older lady - friendly and pretty nice but she wound me up slightly last time as she kept saying "aw, isn't the little baby stupid, smiling now but she's got no idea what's coming...", that sort of thing, in a sing-song voice. Not a big deal by any means but she did it again today and I was kind of gritting my teeth a little. Anyway, I know IABU and terribly PFB by getting annoyed at that.

The real problem was that after she had done the jabs she was asking me how things were going. I said they were brilliant, but she'd been keeping us awake for the last few nights as she was going through a growth spurt. Conversation then went like this:

Nurse: I don't know if you've thought of it, but you could give her some baby rice?

Me: I'm not really interested in that, I want to continue exclusively breastfeeding for the moment.

Nurse: Yes, but remember that guidelines are just guidelines. You could just stick some in her bottle.

Me: I'm not really into the idea. And she doesn't take a bottle.

Nurse: Oh. Well, you could just give her some on a spoon. They're just guidelines.

Me: But don't the WHO guidelines say that even if you are going to do early weaning, you shouldn't introduce any food at all before 17 weeks?

Nurse: Yes, but they're just guidelines. You should go with your instinct.

Me: Right. Well, I think I'll stick with the breastfeeding for now.

Nurse: Ha! I bet you'll have changed your mind when I next see you.

Ok, that's it, word for word. Of course I understand they're just guidelines, but I'm nowhere near ready to think about giving her solids, I'm so happy breastfeeding her and she's growing really well and putting on weight well and is a healthy, bonny baby, going through what I thought was a perfectly normal growth spurt.

None of the 'friendly' advice I've been given so far has really bothered me, but it's mostly been from family and friends. AIBU to think a health professional shouldn't be suggesting something that has been shown to lead to problems with the gut and allergies etc; and particularly that she should have stopped pushing it when I told her I wasn't interested? I felt really undermined.

Or am I being all PFB again?

seems a bit creepy, but tbh I wouldnt complain

she probably got the message quiet defiance may have worked

She sounds VERY unprofessional. (I am a nurse, and an older lady, and I wouldn't dream of behaving like that.)

Was she a HV? Or the practice nurse giving jabs? If the latter, she has absolutely no remit to give advice on feeding or weaning. She is not trained or qualified to do so.

probably not worth a complaint (IMO)

Weaning was 12 weeks when I did it (11 years ago)...seems to me they change the guidelines every few moments. Just nod, then go with your instincts anyway.

I would complain, yes. She needs a better "bedside manner" and the stuff about weaning was, quite frankly, stupid as well as rude.

When I say "complain" I guess I mean more of just pointing it out to the practice manager rather than a formal complaint.

Please DO mention it to the practice manager. The nurse in question is giving completely wrong advice, and it should be brought up with her; not in a blaming way, but as a clear educational need. If you don't mention it, a chance to improve her care, and therefore that of the practice, will be missed. The practice manager should raise it with her, and it could give her the opportunity to receive training in that area.

I think you're being sensitive. The suggestion of the rice was just to help your baby to sleep. Take the advice, don't take it - it's up to you.

Why would you think of complaining though? It really will get to the stage where the caring profession follow everyone else and become like robots, dispensing the bare minimum and nothing else for fear of reprisals.

... and why not just take it up with the nurse next time you're there instead of taking it to the practice manager? Surely if the nurse is nice and friendly, you can discuss your point without getting offended?

Loon. With shares in baby rice.

report the loon, some mums are really quite vulnerable and don't need this shit peddled to them - well done for answering her back the way you did.

Sorry about your Grandad. x

Baby rice , in a bottle?

How old is this nurse? She must be into her 80's to think that this was a good suggestion.

Everything I've read - from the NHS - says never to put baby rice in the bottle as the baby could choke. For that reason alone (what if a mother took her advice and did that), I'd say something.

Since the 'advice' is wrong Lyingwitch, especially about putting rice in bottles, I would certainly be challenging it and raising it with the practice manager.

Wow, how unprofessional! I would gently complain, not necessarily formally. She should be adhering to guidelines.

I have lots of crap advice from health workers over the years....none has ever suggested rice in a bottle

I'd report it, doesn't have to be a complaint as such but the nurse is advising things that are outside of her remit of a nurse.

I'm sure the practice hv's would be interested to hear what she's saying too.

I didn't read it that the rice would go in a bottle... how would you get it out? Didn't she mean on a spoon? How does that preclude breastfeeding?

You'd take it up with the practice manager, maybe weblette, I wouldn't. I'd ask the nurse directly on my next appointment, she's nice and approachable (according to OP). Why not ask her directly?

I would report this. Whatever your views on weaning are the comment that you would have changed your mind by the time you saw her again and the general creepy way of dealing with your child is enough. I would raise this with the senior GP, not the practive manager.

i mean unwanted advice is bad, but unwanted WRONG advice (rice in a bottle??)is unforgivable!!! i agree with iwish and ninky, a word in the practise managers ear shoud do it.

I'm surprised she didn't suggest dipping a dummy in syrup and getting it enrolled for chimney sweep work.

I would definately bring this up with the practice.Her advice is wrong and potentially harmful. In the past people have crushed up digestives in formula and given it in a bottle(they make the holes in the teat bigger).If you don't fancy the confrontation, mention it to your health visitor. You are not being precious btw.

Yep, I would complain.

Complain...if you don't she could mak som oter Mum feel very confsed. A young mum with no confidence wouldnt be able to work out why she felt irritated.

my babies took bottles and 1 was started on baby rice at 12 weeks. I would never put the rice in the bottles
I would mention this to the practice manager for 3 reasons the advice is suspect (re bottles not baby rice but I know some people disagree on that one and it is a hot potato), you told her you were happy, you explained your instinct and she denigrated it.

I am sorry about your grandad but congrats on your bonny baby

Can't copy because I'm mobile but Lying, she does say to put rice in the bottle, did you honestly not read "in the bottle" to mean in the bottle?

People used to do this and some still do! They stick a pin in the hole of the teat to make it bigger. It's dangerous! Of course it precludes breastfeeding, you can't stick pins in your nipples to make them big enough for rice.