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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not let my 11yr old DS2 have blonde highlights?

76 replies

Tortoise · 23/03/2011 12:49

He told me to start this thread as he obviously thinks IABU!
So, blonde highlights for an 11yr old boy, yes or no?
(Of course some of his friends do which makes me even more unreasonable in his eyes!)

OP posts:

KnittedBreast · 23/03/2011 12:51

eewwww. no. tell him he needs to get some better fashion sense!

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 23/03/2011 12:51

YANBU - 11 seems awfully young to start inflicting bleach/dye on hair - bless him, tell him it will fall out by the time he is 25!!

Original poster

Tortoise · 23/03/2011 12:52

Lol!
(He is sat beside me, off school with ear ache.)

OP posts:

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 23/03/2011 12:52

.......tell him highlights went out in the 80's BTW - totally untrendy for todays yoof :)

electra · 23/03/2011 12:53

I would let him. But he's your child.

Bogeyface · 23/03/2011 12:54

Can he pay for them himself?

I think I would probably let him if he can pay for them and pay for his roots to be done every 8 weeks, but if he is expecting you to pay then tell him to forget it!

BristolJim · 23/03/2011 12:57

He's 11 now, and you don't get to choose his hair style anymore!

You obviously have power of veto over anything too outlandish, mohawks, etc, but you are only entitled to act in an advisory capacity as far as things like highlights are concerned.

Sorry, but them's the rules!

BristolJim · 23/03/2011 12:58

Oh, and it's blond highlights for boys, not blonde!

suzikettles · 23/03/2011 12:59

Buy him a bottle of Sun-In (do they still make that?) and let him make himself look like a prat if he wants to.

Seriously, highlights on children look daft.

Petalouda · 23/03/2011 12:59

just before I finished for mat leave, one of my year 8 boys had had highlights.

He looked ridiculous. It took all the willpower I had not to comment. I presume his 'friends' won't have that willpower yet!

Highlights on boys went out of fashion somewhere in the 90s.

I wouldn't let any child of mine (a naive statement, I don't have any yet!) dye their hair until they've left school (a personal opinion).

Your decision, not the 11yr olds!

TheCrackFox · 23/03/2011 13:01

There is a boy of a similar age who lives near me who has blond highlights - he looks like Princess Di circa 1987.

He may be 11 and want some autonomy over his look but does he have any idea how expensive highlights are (£80+) and how he is going to pay for it?

MyBoysHaveDogsNames · 23/03/2011 13:01

Oh I'd love it if DS1 wanted highlights when he was 11. I'd do them myself (ex-hairdresser).

Realise this is totally superficial though and would explain this to him. Then would play hairdressers for the afternoon. [shallow and inconsistent emoticon]

Crawling · 23/03/2011 13:03

I would let a boy if it turns out wrong he can go short not so easy if a girl doesnt like it. Also not as damaging on short hair.

Muumraa · 23/03/2011 13:04

I would let him,Boys have so much more fashion sense now.I bet It will look lovely.

Original poster

Tortoise · 23/03/2011 13:04

He has actually been allowed a mohawk. I'm not to worried about style choice it the bleaching/colouring of hair i disagree with at his age.

No, he wouldn't be able to pay for it himself. He did try saying he would ask his Dad to pay for it when he goes to his at the weekend!

OP posts:

singersgirl · 23/03/2011 13:04

You can only allow him autonomy over his looks if he pays for it. There's no way I would let my 11 year old have highlights, boy or girl. I wouldn't let them decide on their diet either or when to do their homework or how much time they spend on the Playstation. Young children don't always make sensible decisions. (Neither do adults of course....)

singersgirl · 23/03/2011 13:06

There's no way I'd allow my 11 year old a mohawk either and his school wouldn't have allowed it (he's 12 now).

alarkaspree · 23/03/2011 13:06

I agree with Bogeyface, I would 'let' him have highlights but I wouldn't pay for them.

PhillipeFlop · 23/03/2011 13:07

YANBU.

Crawling · 23/03/2011 13:08

£80+ take him to a college for short hair our college charges £10 .

Sportsmum · 23/03/2011 13:08

Sometimes it is better to let them try things and find out that they look like prats - in our minds! As many have said, his peers will put him straight. One way of looking at it is that it will grow out/can be cut out. It is only hair.

Let him experiment. At 11 they want to appear far older than they are.
If you keep controlling everything then the kickback is likely to be all the more severe - unwanted piercings, tattoos etc. when he's older.
I would also be inclined to make him pay for it.

It was so easy being a parent - then I had kids....

Ihavewelliesbuttheyrenotgreen · 23/03/2011 13:13

Tell him to tip a comb in bleach and comb through.

Sorry not remotely helpful, don't do it mini-tortoise

herecomesthsun · 23/03/2011 13:15

Conversely, one could argue that if you are a pushover about this, all the harder for him to "really rebel" as a teen. I think kids need some limits, if only to know what to kick against as they are finding their own identity.

LDNmummy · 23/03/2011 13:15

Oh gosh, is that what is fashionable these days!

Its like the 90's is doing a full U turn and returning to the scene of the crime.

Next it will be curtains.

Let him try it, he may hate it when its done, and take him somewhere that will do it very cheaply as it is not worth spending lots of money on.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 23/03/2011 13:16

I'd let him have them (though funnily enough not if he was a girl - don't ask!? LOL). Tell him that he can have them if he can get his Dad to pay for them. But tell him that if the school say anything then he has to have a number 2 all over. End of.

However, he's going to need to work out how to get some money if he wants to 'maintain' this 'look' as I wouldn't be paying for it other than for a birthday or christmas present.

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