to be suprised at neighbours attitude?

[Gemjar]

I have a 4 month old baby and live in a terraced house. The only room that is directly next to the neighbours happens to be his nursery and he has recently been moved into it to sleep at night as he has outgrown his moses basket.

He wakes up on average once or twice in the night to be fed, his crying always wakes me up instantly and I go straight in and get him, he is never left crying for more than a minute but most nights I hear banging on the wall coming from next door as I pick him up.

I have decided not to raise this with next door as I don't want to start a row, but AIBU to be a little at this. If I left him crying for ages throughout the night they might have a point but he really isn't that loud so I just don't get why they are doing it. I hear noises coming from their house such as doors closing etc, but that's just part of living in a terrace isn't it?

I think your neighbours are being unreasonable not you! Your baby wakes for a feed in the night and cries, that is perfectly normal, I wouldn't be reaching for contented baby books yet.

Your neighbours would hate to live next to us, my girls are 4 and 6 and they make huge amounts of noise

Anyway it is a baby crying for goodness sake, it isn't like you are having all night parties or screaming rows in the middle of the night.

Just ignore them, they sound like idiots!

YANBU.

Some of the posters on this threads are nuts.

agree with beertrixpotter. we live in a terrace also and our DS is usually great but goes through short phases of sometimes waking up and screaming the place down for several minutes due to either teeth or (we think) nightmares at the moment (he's 19m). Whenever I see the neighbours I always say " Sorry if he's disturbing you" and they always say, its fine,we sometimes hear him but thats what they do. Our other neighbours have literally JUST had their first and no doubt our babies will disturb each other but again all you can do is be as friendly as you can - I would acknowledge their annoyance and see if they have any practical suggestions. If not, you can then say well, apologies but thats it then. It is just what they do and you are doing all you can.

Take them a bottle of wine to apologise and thank them profusely for their patience. Guilt trip them into being nicer about it. This worked for one of my friends.

Is the bed right up against the wall? If so I think you should move it

What Beertricks said - just try to be friendly, surely you would not exactly be happy either if woken up a few fimes every night by your neighbours, even if the noise is not avoidable and totally natural. And if you can hear them closing doors then creaming baby in the middle of the night is in fact probably pretty loud. acknowledge their annoyance, as trixie suggested and this is often sufficient.

I find some attitudes very egocentrical here - that if it bothers them, they should move rooms/house or soundproof? They are not the ones making the noise. If we now agree that the one who is disturbed by something should manage it, then where will it end? My cat craps in your garden - well, not my problem, this is what cats do, so you should build a catproof fence if you don't like it?

Does the room have a carpet or wooden floors?

Empty eggs trays stuck on the wall are supposed to be good for sound proofing. You'd need a lot though.

Why not have him in your room for a bit, till he's more settled at night?

Does seem a bit unfair on the neighbours.

order some leaflets about soundproofing and post them through their door

Also, couldn't you keep him in with you and OH until he stops waking up in the middle of the night?

Arf at the naughty crevix mentioning SWSNBN

OP, I think I'd bang back. That should make your feelings clear.

YANBU, though agree you could move him into your room if there is space, as SIDS guidelines are that they should be in your room for the first 6 months anyway.

YANBU - it's not the first time a baby has cried in a terrace house and it's certainly not the last. Your neighbours are prats indeed - if the baby was left crying for hours in the middle of the night they may have more of a 'case' but if they are that light sleepers then they should find ways to cope with THEIR ISSUES themselves.

Perhaps they could move their room - if they have no kids they probably have another room they could use.
You could bang back.
If you were really feeling generous/sweet pop some earplugs through their letter box.

I'd just ignore them and they will probably stop.

YANBU and YABU
YANBU in that they are rude and out of order and intolerant. But YABU to put a wakeful 4mo baby in his own room. I would keep him in with you until he's older and sleeps better. Most 4mos don't sleep through and having them in with you usually prevents them even getting to the crying stage, as you (well I did anyway) wake up at the first whimper. I apprecaiet there may be space issues in your bedroom but DS moved from moses to travel cot for this reason and went to full cot when he was older. I'm not talking 18mo by the way, but maybe wait another 2 months or so?

"Take them a bottle of wine to apologise", why should she, what is she apologising her, her baby being hungry and crying for one minute. I have never heard such rubbish.

LOL at stick egg cartons on the wall to soundproof, I really hope this was meant as a joke.

Why should the op move the baby back into their room, it is a terraced house, not Buckingham Palace there will always be noise from next door, what next no hoovering during the day as it interrupts The Jeremy Kyle Show

"Have you not tried he contened little baby routine yet? 4 months is a bit late but there's still time to sort him out beofre it's too late entirely."

I LOL'd when I read this, thought it was funny as assume it's tongue-in-cheek.

I have sympathy with both sides, we lived in a semi-detached for a while and used to be woken all the time by neighbour coughing in sleep, and by their alarm clock at 5.00am, it was awful.

Move him back to your room until he is sleeping all night?

I would move him back because of SIDS guidelines, also because it will be easier for you, not because of a daft neighbour.. but I am chuckling at "keep him in your own room until he sleeps through" - DS would still be in our room now and he's 3.. he still is for part of the night!

YANBU! Next time they bank on the wall, bang back. Then put a note through their door asking them to move their pet woodpecker as it keeps waking your baby. Cheeky fuckers, maybe they should have considered noise from their neighbours before moving in to a terrace!

YANBU and neither are they.
I'd also have him in my room until he was at least 6 mths. But then I'm funny about following guidelines.

OMG your neighbours are behaving appallingly. I also think you are being really calm. I would be fuming at their attitude. Its a baby. They cry. They will have to deal with it.

YANBU! Perhaps remind your neighbours that they were babies too, once upon a time

are you sure they aare bnging on the wall and not just "banging"? maybe it is their loud banging that is waking baby in the first place.

Yanbu.

Contented little baby my arse. I suspect that was a joke.

I'd bang right back!