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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Pay for School Damage

59 replies

humanoctopus · 21/03/2011 07:23

My 14 year old ds plays footie at school break time with his friends. No interest in girls at all, just kicking a ball around every break time!

I got a call from the school secretary on Friday to say that he was involved in damage to a car and that we would be receiving a note home with him that day. She couldn't comment on what type of damage, so I was expecting something huge.

Anyway, home he arrives, and hands me the note. Due to over spill, staff cars are now parked in the end of the basket ball courts, and while playing football, my son's game led to a wing mirror of a car parked in this area, being broken. There were three of them playing, so the principal requested that we split the cost of the mirror.

I was so relieved that it was only a wing mirror, I instantly googled the cost, only 30 quid, so getting off lightly.

I popped ten pound (a third of the cost) into an envelope and he will hand it into the office today.

However, at a match yesterday, one of ds's fellow culprit friend's mum came up to me and said that she would not be paying, and hoped I wasn't going to either. Her reason was that they were playing in a basket ball court, and that if cars need to park there, that's their risk, not our problem. There were alot of other parents from the school nodding in agreement with her.

AIBU to pay for my son's part of the damage?
I feel that its important to let him know that you have to have responsibility for your actions, even if it was a mistake, even if the car shouldn't really be there, etc.

I have to go to work now, so will be back later, thanks.

OP posts:
Zippylovesgeorge · 21/03/2011 07:26

Surely if he was playing in the correct area then it was just an accident. IMO the person who parked their car in the incorrect area is at fault.

Would have been different if they were having a kickabout in the carpark.

LaurieFairyCake · 21/03/2011 07:29

That's a very cheap mirror! Mine cost 200 to replace.

Yes I think he should pay, deduct it from pocket money. Other womanise excuse piss poor-perhaps she should teach her kid not to play near items that could get damaged. That's a good lesson to learn.

controlpantsandgladrags · 21/03/2011 07:30

The teachers are parking on a basket ball court and complaining when their cars get damaged? Confused

I have to say I agree with the other mum. If the court is now a car park, the school should have put up a sign telling the pupils not to kick balls around on it.

However, it depends whether or not not paying is going to make things awkward for your son at school.

Babieseverywhere · 21/03/2011 07:31

I would pay it, assuming the school knew the car was there and told the students that the court is no longer to be used for playing on, as it is now part of the car parking area.

If he was playing football in an official lesson, it would of been the teachers responsibility.

If the car was parked there without the schools permission, it is the drivers responsibility.

Where do children play sports if cars are parking on the basket ball courts ?

jazz412 · 21/03/2011 07:33

I would tend to agree that it's the schools fault for parking cars where children are allowed to play ball games, had they not been permitted it would be another story but here the children aren't at fault.
The lesson you're teaching your son is good though :)

penguin73 · 21/03/2011 07:35

Depends whether they have permission to play there - we have a strict 'footballs only on the field' policy to avoid things like this. If he was allowed to then the school should pay, not you. If not then the boys should pay. I would seek clarification from his head of year before doing anything else.

Goblinchild · 21/03/2011 07:37

I agree with penguin, and I would want a clear decision from the school about what they are going to do for the future. If the cars are parked there the children shouldn't play. if the children are entitled to be there , the staff need to park elsewhere and walk. Ot the school needs to erect a barrier to protect the vehicles.
If he eas allowed to play there, I wouldn't pay.

weblette · 21/03/2011 07:38

Agree with penguin. If playing football's banned there, of course he should pay, if it's not then I don't why he should. Don't most places say vehicles are parked 'at owner's risk' in schools anyway?

meditrina · 21/03/2011 07:41

I agree with Goblinchild.

Without knowing the layout of the school, it's hard to know how much separation there was between the cars and the ball games area, nor whether there were new signs or instructions about where to play. If the school directed parking in a play area and did nothing to restrict play in that area, I'd be tempted not to pay. But I would check the details of what happened first.

ddubsgirl · 21/03/2011 07:49

i would say its mostly the schools fault for allowing cars to park there but if they were playiing football in the basketball court then yes the kids need to pay some towards it.

kicking the ball about would do alot more damage than just playing basketball.

herbietea · 21/03/2011 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FrumpyintheFrost · 21/03/2011 07:57

I agree with the other posters that you need more information about the incident.

Perhaps your son could write a short note to the staff member apologising that his/her car was accidentally damaged. I think that helps teach about taking responsibility for your actions. Then you could make a final decision re paying for the damage when you have more facts.

TheyKnowEsperanto · 21/03/2011 08:01

Just to say that yes, it would be nice to write a note apologising but get the facts first because any apology will be taken as admitting legal liability. And if no one else does, your son, could be liable for the whole cost of damage if the facts show the boys shouldn't have been playing there.

RunAwayWife · 21/03/2011 08:03

I would not pay as the car was parked near a designated playing area. If your child had been playing in the car park or street and damaged a car that would be different, It is the schools fault.

onceamai · 21/03/2011 08:05

if they were told not to play there you should pay; if not probably not but I wouldn't get into a row over a tenner tbh. Of most note I think is whether the boys went to the staffroom to own up and say sorry. If they did I suspect they would have been forgiven.

gorionine · 21/03/2011 08:06

I would pay too. Surely, the car was big enough to see prior to start playing basketball close enough for them to cause damage.

Now though, if the overspill in the car park renders the basket ball court impossible to use by the students I would complain to the school They obviously need to rethink the setup of things and find a way to have more parking space without stopping the students to let the steam off playing a sport at break time.

VivaLeBeaver · 21/03/2011 08:10

I do see the other mum's point but I'd pay. Its only £10 and it teaches your son about responsibility, etc. At the end of teh day he damaged someone else's car. The kids must have noticed it was there before playing with the ball and at secondary school should have had the sense/ability to keep the ball away.

Plus if its a basketball court perhaps the teacher thought that only basketball would be played on the court. Therefore thinking that as balls in basketball are generally well controlled their car may be fairly safe. Kicking a football about is likely to go further/do more damage then playing basketball. Were they allowed to play football there?

Niceguy2 · 21/03/2011 08:21

Part of me can see the other parent's point of view. But much depends on what exactly 'parked in the end of the basketball court' means. Are the cars actually ON the courts or just alongside at the end?

Are they allowed to play FOOTBALL on the basketball court?

But at the end of the day, your son (and friends) kicked the ball so the responsibility is theirs and theirs alone. The car was already there and something they should have considered before playing.

The way I see it is let's say you are driving down the street. There's a parked car in the middle of the road for whatever reason and you crash into it. Who's fault is it? The insurance company would say its yours since you should have seen it. Doesn't matter that it shouldn't have been there in the first place. To me this is the same principle.

£10....I'd pay it and move on.

Jude89 · 21/03/2011 08:24

My Friend teaches at a school and his car was completely smashed up by a boy who had "escaped" from the special education Unit. The school expected him to pay for the damage as cars are parked at the owners risk, and his car was actually in the car park. (He did kick up a fuss and eventually it was sorted out by the school's insurance)

"perhaps the teacher thought that only basketball would be played on the court. Therefore thinking that as balls in basketball are generally well controlled their car may be fairly safe"

I think it's awful that the teachers are allowed to park on the sports areas, how are they meant to play Basket Ball if the teachers are using the court as a Car Park.

Although I think it is fair that he pays his share of the damage, at the end of the day he was involved in causing it, but shouldn't the school be taking reasonable precautions to stop this sort of damage happening. I'd go and talk to the head of year.

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 21/03/2011 08:31

You have set your son a very good example.. but unless the children were told ot to play football there then it is teh tehacher's own fault and they should claim on their insurance. And appalling tha tthe scholle ven allows teachers to park in sprts areas anyway!! I would be kicking up a fuss about that - they are seting the children a very bad example in allowing that car parking tto take precedence over childrne's sports.

confuddledDOTcom · 21/03/2011 08:37

I agree with the majority, they parked on a playground and didn't close the playground to ball games, the school is responsible.

I don't agree with the driving analogy. An adult who's been trained to drive and supposed to be proficient at it compared to a child playing where he thinks he's allowed. Totally different scenarios.

confuddledDOTcom · 21/03/2011 08:39

Also have the school said it's only £30? The cost of a motorised mirror could be far greater and not a diy job.

trixie123 · 21/03/2011 08:50

14 is old enough to appreciate the potential for damage playing football near cars. If this is the first such incident I would suggest that you raise it with the school so they can make a clear decision and statement about the rules. Are there other areas where ball ganmes could be played? Ultimately, staff do need to park on site and if that is the only available place, they have little choice. If the cost is only £30 I would pay the third as a "life lesson" to your DS but if it turns out to be a lot more I would go back to the school (but not exoect the staff meember themselves to pay - the school insurance ought to cover it).

catinthehat2 · 21/03/2011 08:52

it won't be £30

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 21/03/2011 08:59

why do staff 'need to park on site', dont see that ehri 'need' Hmm trumps a child's need to play - should 14 year old be expected to talk quietly at playtime Hmm for the convenience of free on site parking? No wonder there are rising levels of obesity among children (and teachers)