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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Pay for School Damage

59 replies

humanoctopus · 21/03/2011 07:23

My 14 year old ds plays footie at school break time with his friends. No interest in girls at all, just kicking a ball around every break time!

I got a call from the school secretary on Friday to say that he was involved in damage to a car and that we would be receiving a note home with him that day. She couldn't comment on what type of damage, so I was expecting something huge.

Anyway, home he arrives, and hands me the note. Due to over spill, staff cars are now parked in the end of the basket ball courts, and while playing football, my son's game led to a wing mirror of a car parked in this area, being broken. There were three of them playing, so the principal requested that we split the cost of the mirror.

I was so relieved that it was only a wing mirror, I instantly googled the cost, only 30 quid, so getting off lightly.

I popped ten pound (a third of the cost) into an envelope and he will hand it into the office today.

However, at a match yesterday, one of ds's fellow culprit friend's mum came up to me and said that she would not be paying, and hoped I wasn't going to either. Her reason was that they were playing in a basket ball court, and that if cars need to park there, that's their risk, not our problem. There were alot of other parents from the school nodding in agreement with her.

AIBU to pay for my son's part of the damage?
I feel that its important to let him know that you have to have responsibility for your actions, even if it was a mistake, even if the car shouldn't really be there, etc.

I have to go to work now, so will be back later, thanks.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 21/03/2011 09:02

Maybe there are other areas where the kids can play? When I was at school the tennis courts, basket ball court were out of bounds apart from in PE. No idea why but there was a huge playing field and a big playground for us.

VivaLeBeaver · 21/03/2011 09:04

If its just the glass in the wing mirror it could easily be £30 inc fitting. The replacement glass is only about £10 from Halfords. Or it was when I last needed oen a few years ago.

B52s · 21/03/2011 09:58

My broken wing mirror was an insurance claim. Hanging off, heat element, indicator, electrics etc etc etc.

confuddledDOTcom · 21/03/2011 10:04

If they know they're still allowed to play in there even with the cars being there they probably didn't think there was a problem or they'd be banned. That's as far as 14 year old reasoning is likely to go.

Second the wonder about staff needing to park on site, especially on a playground.

My schools did allow playing on court areas, so not all schools ban it.

tallulah · 21/03/2011 10:19

Our wing mirror got knocked off by a pheasant and cost £300 to replace..

(and the pheasant wouldn't pay up either )

weblette · 22/03/2011 10:07

Any update OP?

trixie123 · 22/03/2011 11:53

Mrs guyofgisbourne staff need to park on site because they could easily have 60+ A4 exercise books to carry if they've had marking to do overnight (having rushed home to sort out DCs and therefore not able to do it in school.) They need to park on site so that they don't waste time walking when they arrive at 7-.7.30 to plan lessons and wrestle with photocopiers and phone parents who can't be contacted at other times. They need to park onsite because roads around schools are often permit controlled and hugely congested with parents cars dropping off and picking up. Teachers cars would add to this congestion. Shall I continue?

scurryfunge · 22/03/2011 11:58

Forget the cost issue, I would be livid that yet more children's play area is being taken over by cars.

The teacher can make a claim from the county council or their own car insurance.

scurryfunge · 22/03/2011 12:00

Oh and a shopping trolley easily solves the problem of carrying books

cumfy · 22/03/2011 12:35

The ball must have been kicked pretty hard.

And only one person kicked that ball.
They should fess up.
Has the specific individual admitted, and if not why not ?

Personally, I would just take the line with the head that:

If parking on the basketball court is so reasonable your insurance will cover it .... won't it ?

risingstar · 22/03/2011 13:31

i reckon they are chancing their arm on the whole thing to be honest.

i have no doubt that staff are told that they park entirely at their own risk.

Unless your child was being reckless or doing/playing somewhere where they have specifically been told not to i think they would be hard pressed to prove negligence. an accident is not negligence.

confuddledDOTcom · 22/03/2011 13:32

Lol good point cumfy but that's probably why they're getting parents to pay, they already know the answer!

OliPolly · 22/03/2011 13:33

Insurance would pay but £30 is under the excess amount surely?

scurryfunge · 22/03/2011 13:35

I suspect a wing mirror would cost more than that to repair if it is a total replacement, with electrics.

Maybe the teacher is trying to get the pupils to pay for the excess?

altinkum · 22/03/2011 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Acanthus · 22/03/2011 13:41

If it was only hit by a ball, though, it might be just the glass that needs to be replaced

Original poster

humanoctopus · 26/03/2011 18:02

Just thought I'd give an update:

Ds paid his part of the damage to the mirror. The other two boys involved did not. Now they are 'not talking' to him, ds tells me that their mums are really cross with me.

Parking in the basketball court is a temporary thing, and there isn't any basketball played at the moment, but damage is damage, in my opinion.

Ds 'gets it' why I felt he had to pay his share, but it would seem the parents of the others felt that IWBU.

Anyhoo, thanks for the input!

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 26/03/2011 18:12

Mrs guyofgisbourne staff need to park on site because they could easily have 60+ A4 exercise books to carry if they've had marking to do overnight (having rushed home to sort out DCs and therefore not able to do it in school.) They need to park on site so that they don't waste time walking when they arrive at 7-.7.30 to plan lessons and wrestle with photocopiers and phone parents who can't be contacted at other times. They need to park onsite because roads around schools are often permit controlled and hugely congested with parents cars dropping off and picking up. Teachers cars would add to this congestion. Shall I continue?

applauds - you forgot to add the laptop that most teachers have to cart back and forth daily.

humanoctopus I think it's great that you and your son were so responsible. Those other boys sound pretty nasty types - but with mothers like theirs it's hardly surprising, I suppose.

FrumpyintheFrost · 26/03/2011 19:00

humanoctopus thanks for coming back and updating, fwiw, I think you did the right thing!

Original poster

humanoctopus · 26/03/2011 20:46

FrumpyintheFrost Thanks!

I'm not looking forward to the frosty glares at tomorrow morning's match.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 26/03/2011 20:52

i think you should all pay too

it doesn't matter whether or not the cars "should" be there.

the kids are 14 and it should be fairly obvious that if you play ball near cars there is a chance of an accident happening.

yes, it was an accident, yes it was avoidable... but it happened and they should pay.

i hate this whole culture we have of trying to pass the blame onto someone else.
if you went to work and your bosses said "sorry, carpark full you'll have to park here instead" and you did and your car got broken i'm guessing you'd be a bit pissed!?

OP you are right to think that everyone should be responsible for their own actions, it's a good lesson to be teaching your son

Original poster

humanoctopus · 26/03/2011 21:05

I would want to pay up whether or not we were asked to.

My ds is embarrassed and feels a bit 'outed' at school for having paid (eventhough he feels its right to fix what you've damaged).

Its a very small matter really, but I just hate that its going to be an issue in the morning.

Maybe I'll develop 'flu during the night

OP posts:

pointydog · 26/03/2011 21:07

You did the right thing, octopus. You sound like you;ve got your priorities right.

cumfy · 26/03/2011 23:30

Have you found out who kicked the ball ?

OutOutLetItAllOut · 27/03/2011 07:26

Thisis, you seem to be ignoring the fact that the accident would not have happened if the person who had parked in the ball playing area had not done so. They knew it was a risk. It was avoidable, if they had parked in a parking bay, car park, anywhere that children had not been given as an area to play ball. Is the responsibility not on the owner to leave there car in a safe and appropriate area? You say a 14 yr old should have not played in that area because they should have seen the risk, well im betting the driver was older than 14, they should have seen the risk and not parked there.

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