or am I right to think this mum is just being lazy and taking an unnecessary risk?

[maxpower]

DD is in reception. A classmate of hers lives 2 doors away from the school. However, to get to the school, the classmate has to walk up 3 sets of stairs (so ends up out of view of her house), through a wooded area with a public footpath running through it and round to the rear of the school building to get to the playground (from where the children go in to class). Her mum 'allows' her to do this journey alone. On a couple of occasions, other mums of children in the class have kept an eye on the girl as there are a few of us who think it's not safe for her to be doing this joureny alone. The girl is barely 4 1/2 and is very small for her age. Mum only has one child, she doesn't work and has no physical problems preventing her walking. I'm sure she only comes to collect her in the afternoon because the school wouldn't let the girl leave without an adult meeting her. It just strikes me that she's too lazy to do what has to be the shortest school run imaginable.

i think any mother who doesnt take her infant aged child to school is pretty crap really

its just laziness

Jdore...he OP never said anything about home-time I don't think....she's referring to arrivals.

At my DDs school, nobody would notice if she arriveed unaccompanied....apart from vigilant parents.

I would have a conversation with the school
at our school children in foundation stage/key stage one are to be escorted by an adult to the class room

Agree with migratingcoconuts, this is a serious child protection issue and the school need to know about it. TBH I'm a little surprised they haven't already noticed - the reception hand-overs at both the beginning and end of the day at DS's school are done very carefully. Anyway, regardless of that, the school must be told.

As others have said, given that it's such a clear error of judgement it does worry me what else may be going on. Does the little girl seem happy, tidily dressed, that sort of thing? We shouldn't be too alarmist I know, it may be simply a misjudgement where the parent sincerely believes there is no issue and is completely switched on in every other way but I do think it needs looking into.

yes, that's what worries me vicky, and in years to come too... this could well be an indicator of bigger issues.

I'm looking at my 4 year old and cannot contemplate letting him do such a journey on his own.

What Vicky said above. The mum may have problems you can't see, but the welfare of the child is more important. The 'problem' for you is that when it's reported, how it is addressed is out of your hands. I think you have to put that to one side, though.

If I were you, I'd report it via email, detailing all that you know about it. Stick to the facts, and don't give your opinions.

I hope the family gets the help it obviously needs, even if it does mean the mum gets a metaphorical kick up the backside. I've done lone parenthood for quite a long time. It was hard, but I would no sooner have seen my 4 year old get herself to school than I would have set fire to myself.

I wouldn't say she was 'lazy' - in many European countries this would be completely normal. It also I'm afraid gets my back up that everyone automatically assumes it's the mother's responsibility alone to get her DD to school, rather than the father's.

However, much though I think we mollycoddle our DC far too much in this country, even I would ten towards thinking that 4 1/2 is too young to walk to school alone. 6yrs old - probably fine if no roads to cross, 4yrs old not.

Sorry Skinit didn't read that. However at 4.5 years, whether its at the begining or the end of the day the staff should still notice.

Maybe there's more to the story that the OP hasn't mentioned, Bramshott - the father may not be on the scene at all. It wouldn't be unusual.. I agree it's wrong to say the parent is lazy, just that the facts need reporting as the child is in potential danger due to her age (quite apart from the implied emotional neglect, again due to her very young age.)

Bramshott, I agree many children starting school in European countries walk, but that's because they are 6 and 7 when they start! Even in those countries, which tolerate much greater freedom for children, would walk with a four and a half year old, and people would find it neglectful not to do so. I would have a word with the school.

I think YANBU but I would offer to walk the child in.
Although if the mother neglects the child in this respect you may be covering up other issues.

YANBU have you spoken to the school?

Do you see the mother go out at other times? is it possible she has mental health issues that prevent her from going out without support. I am not saying I agree with what she is doing but maybe there is more to it than you are aware of.

Yanbu. Tell the school. The whole point of child protection is that whatever you see, whatever you notice, if it concerns you do something about it. Failing to do something or tell someone implicates everyone if the child gets hurt in some way. Victoria Climbie is the example they use in training and one of the reasons CP training and attitude changed. Personally I'd rather school brought something to my attention first. It could be that it just hasn't occurred to the mother that it's too much for a reception child.

There was a similar situation with a mother when my children were primary age - parents were concerned about a young child arriving at school alone. Turned out the mother was drinking quite heavily most evenings and then sleeping in.... There are so Many possible underlying issues- agoraphobia, anxiety , depression...
It certainly doesn't strike me' as normal for an able bodied mother of one school age child, who doesnt work,to not spend those few minutes walking her child to school. I find it hard to believe she's getting the child up, breakfasted etc properly and then just leaving her to walk to school alone, so the chances are, there are deeper issues than the ones that are visible

Even if she could see her child all the way, I don't think the little girl should make the journey alone. YANBU.

Oh dear. I agree that this is irresponsible and dangerous - whatever the reason. I think you have to tell the school. Do you know who the designated person for child protection is? Often the head but it varies.

Yanbu if the child is out of sight of the house. She's just too young.

When my sister was in year 2 we moved house and were opposite the entrance to her new school, literally crossed the road and through the gate, at no point would she be out of sight and the school took up a whole block in a quiet area. The school would not allow her to come in alone until she was in the juniors.

My daughter is also 4 1/2 and whilst I've always given her quite a long lead when out (I'm on crutches so can't hold her and she's sensible so won't go out of sight and will come straight back when I call) I wouldn't let her do a walk like that. Last night I took my two girls out for dinner on my own and wouldn't let her go to the toilet alone, I stood between our table and the toilet so I could see both at the same time. I still felt terrible!

I forgot to add, I agree with the others, you need to talk to the school about it.

I would have thought that the school will know anyway. At DD's school the teachers meet the reception children (with their parent/childminder) at the classroom door, so surely the school will have noticed that the child always comes in alone.

It certainly does sound like there is more than meets the eye here.

I'd report it. The risk of abduction may be small, but this week at the school my children go to there was an attempt and these were older and in a pair, so you just cannot risk it with such a young child. This mother may need some support from appropriate agencies, or she may need a kick up the backside. What is important though is that the safety of this little girl is made priority.