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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I be encouraging DD1 (10) to watch the TV/go on the computer more?

26 replies

AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 17:57

I just changed her bed (she's at my Dads this weekend else she'd be doing it Grin) and in it she had 16 books Shock

Some of them she's read loads of times, and I think she flits from book to book regularly.

I was going be lighthearted, but now I think about it she did say a couple of weeks ago she wanted to do less reading because she felt she was getting too much into them and thinking about the stories even when she wasn't reading.

She does do other stuff, dance/music classes, bit on my computer, drawing/writing, watches films etc, but she's had bad asthma recently so maybe it's forced her to sit still for more than 10 mins and she's been escaping into the books.

I think anything's OK in moderation, but then I've had periods in my life where I'll read for days/nights on end if I've had the chance.

Should I think about dragging her away from her books occasionally?

Or is it a great thing to have an interest in and I should leave her be? (it is very quiet down here when she's in her room Grin)

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 19/03/2011 18:07

if she has asthma, she needs to do some sort of physical activity. Some that I've known work well have been archery, fencing, yoga.
I don't know how old she is, walking in the woods or on the beach might be more appropriate. Smile

nectarina · 19/03/2011 18:13

I wouldn't stop her reading, certainly don't encourage her to watch more telly. That's just absurd, but maybe you should suggest going on walks together or something to get her out of her room more.

Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 18:13

She's 10 Goblin.

She does dance, which isn't confined to the classes, and plays the trombone, and we walk a lot.

I don't like the thought of her asthma dictating what she does, but over the last couple of months it has unfortunately.

OP posts:
Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 18:14

If she's got a chest infection on the go she can have trouble walking up the stairs nectarinea Sad

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backwardpossom · 19/03/2011 18:15

Boasting by stealth? Wink

Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 18:17

About the asthma or the fact she can read backward?

OP posts:
feeblephoebe · 19/03/2011 18:18

i love reading, would never stop anyone from loving books

and i often think about stories when reading, or afterwards

its good for her, encourage it

Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 18:20

Backward as in backwardpossom, rather than she can read backwards Grin

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backwardpossom · 19/03/2011 18:20

The fact she reads so much, agent, I'd have thought that was rather obvious. Then, I'd have thought the wink after my post might have suggested I wasn't being entirely serious...

sigh

backwardpossom · 19/03/2011 18:21

BTW, I don't think reading so much is a bad thing, necessarily, particularly when she has other interests.

wellwisher · 19/03/2011 18:22

What kind of books is she reading? I probably had at least 16 Sweet Valley High books scattered astounded my bed at that age. Grin

wellwisher · 19/03/2011 18:22

Oops - around not astounded!

Goblinchild · 19/03/2011 18:23

She plays the trombone?
Excellent!
Hopefully the weather will warm up and the asthma will improve. Until then I think lounging around and reading is fantastic.
Of course, this being MN, you ought to post a list of titles so we can cluck and pass judgement. Grin

slartybartfast · 19/03/2011 18:23

no, reading is nice, and it is nice she is really getting in to her books

Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 18:23

Sorry Grin I was being shitty backward.

I'm obviously glad she gets so much from them, as I did (before I had DD2 and fall asleep after reading one paragraph Grin) but can you have too much of a good thing?

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Goblinchild · 19/03/2011 18:24

xpost wellwisher.

Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 18:25

She's obsessed with Jaqueline Wilson.

Lots to get your judgy vipers teeth into there Grin

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backwardpossom · 19/03/2011 18:25

I suppose it's like anything else - does it impact on her daily life. i.e. does it stop her from getting enough sleep, or does she not do homework because she's too busy reading etc? If so, maybe she needs to learn to prioritise?

TotemPole · 19/03/2011 18:25

Get her some more books to read rather than rereading the same ones. Something light hearted, that she won't think about too much.

What about taking up a craft such as cross stitch or knitting?

Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 18:32

'does it stop her from getting enough sleep'

Yes.

'or does she not do homework because she's too busy reading etc?'

Um, yes Grin

Both my fault for not keeping a closer check on her.

I've tried to get her to read different things, from the library and Amazon, but you can lead a horse to water and all that.

Knitting/cross stitch lasted about half an hour before her attention wandered and she gets me to do it.

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wellwisher · 19/03/2011 18:40

I think some of the plots and issues in J Wilson can be quite compelling/difficult to forget. Can you encourage her to talk to you about the stories that she feels she's thinking about too much?

Oh, and look out for Sweet Valley books at a car boot sale near you Grin - that or the babysitters' club could be the magic bullet that breaks JW's stranglehold!

FreudianSlippery · 19/03/2011 18:44

I agree with the others that reading so much isn't bad as long as she's doing other stuff. Sucks about the asthma though :(

Nowt wrong with jaqueline wilson btw (IMO!) but a little variety would be good. Maybe she could read non-fiction and turn the info into something on the computer (PowerPoint or something?) - maybe a bit schooly but some DCs enjoy it. Or she could write a novel - with illustrations etc?

babybythesea · 19/03/2011 21:50

She sounds a lot like me at that age.

I kept a shoebox next to my pillow, to keep the books I was reading in as I had so many on the go at once. I did a LOT of re-reading, to the extent that my mum worried that I was going backwards - I been reading fluently before I even got to school and was a couple of years ahead in terms of the reading books I had for quite a lot of primary school, but then at around the age of nine just sort of sat still and the other kids caught up. (It didn't have any long term effect - by the age of 12 I was into Jane Austen and Dickens). But it wasn't due to not spending time reading - I was always slow (very) at things like getting dressed because I did everything one-handed, or tried to prop a book open to keep reading. I read the same things repeatedly. The fictional characters, for a while, became nearly as real as the real world. I have no idea if my parents thought it was an issue - unless I tried to eat during dinner, or was ridiculously slow getting dressed or something they never said anything. And after a year or so of really intense reading, I sort of grew out of it. I am still, and always have been, an avid reader and I get an enormous amount of pleasure from it, and I still go back to those old favourites from time to time. I was consumed by it for that period though - I just think looking back it was a phase. If she is starting to think she thinks too much about the stories, could be she's growing out of it too.

One thing that occurred to me was talking books? Find a couple of titles she likes already, and put them on while she does the knitting, or a jigsaw, or even does some cooking or something. It might help to get her doing other things but not take her away from the stories completely.
She sounds a great child, exactly my sort of person!

Original poster
AgentZigzag · 19/03/2011 22:38

Thank you for the nice things you've said in your post babybythesea.

That's a great idea about the talking books, keep her mind occupied while she's getting into something else.

She talks about the books shes read a fair bit, and my dad can bind books so she's had a couple made into hardbacks Freudian Grin (not blowing her trumpet or owt Grin)

It's not something I'm hugely worried about as she obviously enjoys it, it's just keeping it in balance with other things.

Honestly, parenthood is just one long guilt trip to Are-they-OK-ville

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Cakeybaker · 19/03/2011 22:42

There's nothing wrong with reading imo, but variety is good too. I know knitting is very trendy at the mo, but is it quite hard for a 10yo? What about jewellery making? You can get cheap (but quite nice glass) beads and elastic thread on ebay, and if she likes it there are lots of reasonably priced books to work from. Just an idea Smile